How to Feel Less Paranoid in a Relationship

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Relationship Paranoia?Examples of Relationship ParanoiaCausesCombined FactorsImpactHow to Feel Less Paranoid

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is Relationship Paranoia?

Examples of Relationship Paranoia

Causes

Combined Factors

Impact

How to Feel Less Paranoid

Close

At a GlanceRelationship paranoia may stem from past experiences where your trust was violated or even from things that happened in your childhood that made you feel insecure. There are steps you can take to be less paranoid in a relationship.

At a Glance

Relationship paranoia may stem from past experiences where your trust was violated or even from things that happened in your childhood that made you feel insecure. There are steps you can take to be less paranoid in a relationship.

Do you check your partner’s phone when they’re sleeping? Are you worried that their relationship with a coworker is more than it seems? Do you call them to check up on them when they’re out? Do you think they’re lying to you about money? Do you find yourself picking a fight every time your partner meets up with a friend? These are some signs of relationshipparanoia.

In this article, we’ll talk about what causes paranoia in relationships and how you can overcome it.

What to Do When You Feel Paranoid

Paranoia was originally a term used to describe psychosis, a feature of mental health conditions like schizophrenia. The definition has evolved to apply to anxiety or worry that people have in everyday situations—which is how the term is generally used in “relationship paranoia.”

Is Paranoia a Mental Health Symptom?When it’s part of a mental health condition, a person withparanoiamay have hallucinations and delusions.These symptoms can be serious and can be harmful to the person experiencing them and the others around them. If you think you are having symptoms of psychosis, you need to seek medical care right away.

Is Paranoia a Mental Health Symptom?

When it’s part of a mental health condition, a person withparanoiamay have hallucinations and delusions.These symptoms can be serious and can be harmful to the person experiencing them and the others around them. If you think you are having symptoms of psychosis, you need to seek medical care right away.

Is Paranoid Ideation the Same as Delusional Paranoia?

Here are just a few general examples of what paranoia in a relationship can look like:

How to Deal With Paranoia in BPD

Causes of Relationship Paranoia

There are many different underlying causes of paranoia, says Dr. Romanoff. Below, we’ll unpack some of the causes of relationship paranoia.

Past Trauma

The relationships a person has had throughout their life can affect whether they feel paranoid in their current relationship.Paranoia may stem fromtraumatic life events, including child abuse or previous relationships in adulthood.

‌For example, a person may have been repeatedly cheated on in the past and paranoid thinking may have developed as a defense mechanism to protect them against future threats.

High Stress Levels

What Is Hypervigilance?

Trust Violations

Sometimes, people in relationships start to feel paranoid for a specific reason. For example, it can be a normal reaction to have paranoid thoughts after your partner cheats or lies about money because they haveviolated your trust.

Often, it’s not just one thing but a combination of your life history and environmental factors that contribute to relationship paranoia. For example, if you’ve experienced trauma and trust violations in previous relationships and then you heap on a ton of stress in your current one, you might be more hypervigilant about possible threats.

Is Paranoia in a Relationship Ever Helpful?You may wonder if you should ever “trust your instincts” about paranoid thoughts. If your partner has given you reasons to be distrustful before or you have evidence that something is amiss, it’s worth taking a closer look at your paranoid feelings to see if they could be trying to alert you to a problem.

Is Paranoia in a Relationship Ever Helpful?

You may wonder if you should ever “trust your instincts” about paranoid thoughts. If your partner has given you reasons to be distrustful before or you have evidence that something is amiss, it’s worth taking a closer look at your paranoid feelings to see if they could be trying to alert you to a problem.

Is Your Partner Lying? Here’s How to Tell.

Effects of Relationship Paranoia

Paranoia can take a toll on your health, your partner, and your relationship. Below, Dr. Romanoff outlines how paranoia can affect your relationship.

Effect on Your Health

Paranoia can have a significant effect on your health because it causes you to be on high alert. Your body’s physiological response to stress is to release stress hormones that prepare your body to eitherfight or flight.

When you’re living with relationship paranoia, it can strain your body and mind, leading to anxiety, exhaustion, fatigue, and poor sleep.

Effect on Your Partner

If your paranoid beliefs cause you to respond out of proportion to a situation, it can be overwhelming and frustrating for your partner. You may notice that they seem resigned to the fact that you need constant reassurance, even if it never seems to help.

At first, they may try to explain that the threat you’re picking up on is one you created. Over time, they may become exasperated when you repeatedly accuse them of lying and violating your trust. If there doesn’t seem to be anything they can do or say to reassure you that they’re being truthful, they may give up.

If they step trying to offer reassurance, however, it may make you feel even more paranoid. Pretty soon, yo may both feel like you’re trapped in a vicious cycle.

How to Build Trust In Your Relationships, According to a Therapist

Effect on Your Relationship

Paranoia stems from a core problem in your relationship: you don’ttrustyour partner. Over time, that lack of trust will break down your relationship. The only way to fix it is to find a way to feel secure in the relationship and be able to believe your partner when they demonstrate they are trustworthy.

How to Feel Less Paranoid in a Relationship

These are some steps you can take to reduce relationship paranoia:

How to Overcome Trust Issues

Summary

Relationship paranoia can make it hard for you to trust your partner. You may constantly feel like they are cheating on you, lying to you, or trying to harm you.

Your feelings could be valid if your partner has violated your trust and given you cause to mistrust them. However, paranoia often stems from stress or past trauma, so you might be holding your partner at fault for someone else’s actions.

It’s important to explore the cause of your paranoia, understand what triggers you, and work on your relationship with your partner. Otherwise, paranoia can take a toll on your partner and your relationship, not to mention your health and your peace of mind.

How to Tell If Your Relationship Can Be Saved

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0PTSD UK.Hypervigilance and PTSD.Mason A, Jung P, Seo Young Kim, et al.Associations between post-traumatic stress disorders and psychotic symptom severity in adult survivors of developmental trauma: a multisite cross-sectional study in the UK and South Korea.The Lancet Psychiatry. 2023;10(10):760-767. doi:10.1016/s2215-0366(23)00228-6Carmichael DA.Relationship between childhood trauma and paranoia: a study of specificity and underlying theoretical mechanisms.Edacuk. Published online 2019. doi:https://hdl.handle.net/1842/36609Mind UK.Paranoia.Mayo D, Corey S, Kelly LH, et al.The role of trauma and stressful life events among individuals at clinical high risk for psychosis: a review.Front Psychiatry. 2017;0. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00055Sheffield JM, Brinen AP, Freeman D.Paranoia and grandiosity in the general population: differential associations with putative causal factors.Front Psychiatry. 2021;12:668152. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2021.668152

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0PTSD UK.Hypervigilance and PTSD.Mason A, Jung P, Seo Young Kim, et al.Associations between post-traumatic stress disorders and psychotic symptom severity in adult survivors of developmental trauma: a multisite cross-sectional study in the UK and South Korea.The Lancet Psychiatry. 2023;10(10):760-767. doi:10.1016/s2215-0366(23)00228-6Carmichael DA.Relationship between childhood trauma and paranoia: a study of specificity and underlying theoretical mechanisms.Edacuk. Published online 2019. doi:https://hdl.handle.net/1842/36609Mind UK.Paranoia.Mayo D, Corey S, Kelly LH, et al.The role of trauma and stressful life events among individuals at clinical high risk for psychosis: a review.Front Psychiatry. 2017;0. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00055Sheffield JM, Brinen AP, Freeman D.Paranoia and grandiosity in the general population: differential associations with putative causal factors.Front Psychiatry. 2021;12:668152. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2021.668152

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0PTSD UK.Hypervigilance and PTSD.Mason A, Jung P, Seo Young Kim, et al.Associations between post-traumatic stress disorders and psychotic symptom severity in adult survivors of developmental trauma: a multisite cross-sectional study in the UK and South Korea.The Lancet Psychiatry. 2023;10(10):760-767. doi:10.1016/s2215-0366(23)00228-6Carmichael DA.Relationship between childhood trauma and paranoia: a study of specificity and underlying theoretical mechanisms.Edacuk. Published online 2019. doi:https://hdl.handle.net/1842/36609Mind UK.Paranoia.Mayo D, Corey S, Kelly LH, et al.The role of trauma and stressful life events among individuals at clinical high risk for psychosis: a review.Front Psychiatry. 2017;0. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00055Sheffield JM, Brinen AP, Freeman D.Paranoia and grandiosity in the general population: differential associations with putative causal factors.Front Psychiatry. 2021;12:668152. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2021.668152

Raihani NJ, Bell V.An evolutionary perspective on paranoia.Nat Hum Behav. 2019;3(2):114-121. doi:10.1038/s41562-018-0495-0

PTSD UK.Hypervigilance and PTSD.

Mason A, Jung P, Seo Young Kim, et al.Associations between post-traumatic stress disorders and psychotic symptom severity in adult survivors of developmental trauma: a multisite cross-sectional study in the UK and South Korea.The Lancet Psychiatry. 2023;10(10):760-767. doi:10.1016/s2215-0366(23)00228-6

Carmichael DA.Relationship between childhood trauma and paranoia: a study of specificity and underlying theoretical mechanisms.Edacuk. Published online 2019. doi:https://hdl.handle.net/1842/36609

Mind UK.Paranoia.

Mayo D, Corey S, Kelly LH, et al.The role of trauma and stressful life events among individuals at clinical high risk for psychosis: a review.Front Psychiatry. 2017;0. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00055

Sheffield JM, Brinen AP, Freeman D.Paranoia and grandiosity in the general population: differential associations with putative causal factors.Front Psychiatry. 2021;12:668152. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2021.668152

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