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If you’ve sought mental health help from a professional, you’re not alone. Over 40 million people saw a therapist in 2021.You or someone you know may have noticed something was off, felt depressed, realized you were sleeping too much or too little, or just in general felt blah and thought seeing a therapist could help.

Recognizing you need help and deciding to take action are valuable steps to take for yourself. But if you see someone close to you who needs therapy, like your partner, it may seem harder to suggest it for them. Once you see signs that your partner needs therapy, what you say and how you say it makes all the difference.

Telling your partner that they should go totherapycan be tricky. You want tocommunicatethe message in a caring way, but also help them understand the importance of taking action. We’ll discuss how to express your feelings and encourage your partner to see a therapist, what to say and what not to say, and what to do if your partner refuses to get help.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

The History of Depression

Can Your Partner Benefit From Therapy?

Everyone experiences ups and downs, so it’s important to understand the difference between everyday challenges and the need for therapy.

“Signs that your partner might benefit from seeing a professional therapist are issues in sleep, if they are increasingly feeling overwhelmed, unable to contribute to the relationship, i.e. meet their responsibilities financially with children … if their mood changes are often and noticeable, [or] if there has been an increase in their ability to manage stress,” explainsXiomara Arrieta, LCSW-Cat Thriveworks.

Other signs include:

Therapy can also help if your partner is dealing with specific work or family issues where a neutral third party may be helpful for offering insight and feedback.

However, simply disagreeing with your partner doesn’t mean they necessarily need therapy; it’s normal for couples to argue. But if you notice your arguments are escalating into fights, or increasing in frequency,couples’ therapymay help.

“Couples therapy underscores the idea that maintaining the health of a relationship is a shared responsibility, rather than it being one person’s ‘fault’ or problem to solve. Suggesting couples therapy can also help reduce the feelings of blame or shame that your partner might experience if they’re the only one expected to attend therapy,” notesMorgan Pommells, Trauma Therapist, MSW.

How to Know When It’s Time to See a Therapist

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Tips for Suggesting Therapy to Your Partner

Noticing that your partner needs help is one thing; knowing how to tell them they need help is a completely different story. When you approach your partner to discuss a delicate topic such as this one, it’s not only about what you say, but how you say it that matters.

Before beginning the discussion, you should examine why you’ve decided to talk to your partner about going to therapy. Is it out of concern? Do you want them to get the help they need? Or is your reason self-serving, for example, wanting them to stop a behavior that bothers you? Your motivation will impact the way you talk to your partner.

“The best way to tell your partner that you would like them to go to therapy is to do so from a place of love and care, rather than judgement or shame,” states Pommells. To do this, it is important to consider a number of factors:

Approaching them with a heart of compassion means you have to consider a number of factors.

These statements can help you foster an atmosphere of understanding and concern, and help your partner feel that they are cared about instead of accused. The right language can also help to destigmatize the idea of going to therapy.

Why Taking a Mental Health Day Often Isn’t Enough

What If They Refuse to Go to Therapy?

Even if you have tried the most thoughtful, empathetic approach to get your partner to go to therapy, it may not work. This can happen for many reasons, including internalized stigma surrounding mental health, a belief that talking to you or another loved one is enough, or just not wanting or being ready to.

However, unfairly placing you in the situation of providing your partner’s sole mental and emotional support can be overwhelming.

Compassion Fatigue: The Toll of Caring Too Much

If your partner refuses to go to therapy, seek out additional support, or do any sort of self-work after multiple conversations, you have to consider what is best for you.

“After all of the effort you put in, if your partner refuses to seek services, remember you can’t control others’ behaviors. Think about how their mental health issues are impacting you,” advises Arrieta. “Consider settingboundariesfor yourself with your partner and engaging inself-care.”

Alternative TherapiesWhile your partner may not be interested in traditional therapy, there are a number ofalternativesthat may be more appealing to them. It’s worth discussing these options with your partner.

Alternative Therapies

While your partner may not be interested in traditional therapy, there are a number ofalternativesthat may be more appealing to them. It’s worth discussing these options with your partner.

Be honest with your partner. Let them know what is and is not acceptable in your relationship. Although they may decide not to seek help, that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate problematic behavior. Though you want to extend grace and patience with your partner, evaluating the relationship may be your next step.

“If your partner’s behaviors are causing significant turmoil and they continue to refuse to go to therapy even though you have asked multiple times, it’s important to ask yourself if this is a relationship that you can sustain in its current form,” Pommells says.

1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Statista.Number of U.S. Adults Who Received Mental Health Treatment or Counseling in the Past Year from 2002 to 2021.

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Statista.Number of U.S. Adults Who Received Mental Health Treatment or Counseling in the Past Year from 2002 to 2021.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Statista.Number of U.S. Adults Who Received Mental Health Treatment or Counseling in the Past Year from 2002 to 2021.

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