How to Develop Interpersonal Intelligence

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsThe 8 Different Types of IntelligencesUnderstanding Interpersonal IntelligenceDeveloping Interpersonal IntelligenceBenefits of Interpersonal IntelligenceInterpersonal vs. Intrapersonal IntelligenceTakeaways

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

The 8 Different Types of Intelligences

Understanding Interpersonal Intelligence

Developing Interpersonal Intelligence

Benefits of Interpersonal Intelligence

Interpersonal vs. Intrapersonal Intelligence

Takeaways

We’ve all been there: saying something super awkward, feelinglostat parties, or having trouble making friends at work. If we’re being honest, these situations can feel really confusing and uncomfortable. It’s not about wanting to be the life of the party or the most popular person in the room, but about really connecting with others. That’s where interpersonal intelligence comes in.

Interpersonal intelligence is about understanding others’ emotions and being able to interact with them successfully, saysTatiana Rivera Cruz, MSW, LCSW, a therapist at ADHDAdvisor.

Fortunately, interpersonal intelligence is a skill we can develop. In this article, we explore what it is, why it’s important, the benefits it offers, and how to develop it.

At a Glance

Want to be more of a people person? There’s a special kind of intelligence for that. Interpersonal intelligence is a specific skill that helps us connect and bond with others.

We’re all born with varying degrees of each of these types ofintelligences.However, with effort and practice, we can improve our skills in each of these areas.

These are some of the characteristics of interpersonal intelligence:

Why Can’t I Make Friends?

It’s never too late to develop your interpersonal skills. These are some strategies that can help:

Strike up Conversations

It can be helpful to practice having friendly conversations. You can chat with your neighbor while you get the mail, talk to the person sitting next to you on the train or plane, or make conversation with the person waiting in line with you at the coffee shop.

Find Common Ground

An easy way to bond with someone is to look for common ground with them. When you find things you’re both interested in, you’ll automatically have plenty to talk about.

Show Empathy

Become a Keen Observer

When you talk to people, pay attention to nonverbal cues like their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These can give you valuable insights into how they really feel about something.

Listen Actively

Active listeninggoes beyond simply hearing someone speak. It involves paying close attention to what they’re saying and showing them you’re interested in their life. Maintain eye contact with them while they talk to you, ask follow-up questions, and avoid interrupting them.

Be Positive

Be positive, approachable, authentic, and respectful in your interactions with others.

Use social activities and networking events as opportunities to practice your interpersonal skills in real-life settings. Join clubs, volunteer groups, or professional organizations to meet new people and build relationships.

Reflect on Your Interactions

After social interactions, take some time to reflect on how things went. What went well? What could you have done differently?

Learn From Mistakes

Everyone makesmistakesin social situations. Don’t beat yourself up, instead, use them as learning opportunities to improve your interpersonal skills.

Study Role Models

Identify role models or mentors who demonstrate effective communication, empathy, and relationship-building skills, and study their behavior.

Try Role-Play

Practice your social skills in a safe space with a trusted friend or family member. You can role-play different scenarios and get feedback on your communication style.

Take a Class

Consider enrolling in a communication class. This can provide you with a structured learning environment and the opportunity to practice your skills with others.

What Are the Signs That Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend?

These are some of the benefits of interpersonal intelligence:

By developing interpersonal intelligence we learn how to understand others’ needs, develop empathy, and strengthen our relationships. At the same time, we learn to see the world from a different perspective.—TATIANA RIVERA CRUZ, MSW, LCSW

—TATIANA RIVERA CRUZ, MSW, LCSW

Let’s take a look at the differences between interpersonal andintrapersonalintelligences.

Interpersonal IntelligenceFocuses on connecting and interacting effectively with othersEmphasizes building relationships and social connectionsIncludes skills such as empathy, active listening, and communicationMakes us good team players and leadersContributes to our social developmentIntrapersonal IntelligenceFocuses on understanding our own thoughts and feelingsEmphasizes self-discovery, self-reflection, and self-awarenessIncludes skills such as emotional regulation and decision makingMakes us independent and self-motivatedContributes to our personal development

Focuses on connecting and interacting effectively with others

Emphasizes building relationships and social connections

Includes skills such as empathy, active listening, and communication

Makes us good team players and leaders

Contributes to our social development

Intrapersonal IntelligenceFocuses on understanding our own thoughts and feelingsEmphasizes self-discovery, self-reflection, and self-awarenessIncludes skills such as emotional regulation and decision makingMakes us independent and self-motivatedContributes to our personal development

Focuses on understanding our own thoughts and feelings

Emphasizes self-discovery, self-reflection, and self-awareness

Includes skills such as emotional regulation and decision making

Makes us independent and self-motivated

Contributes to our personal development

By working on your interpersonal intelligence, you can bridge the gap between awkwardsmall talkand meaningful conversations. With time and practice, you can build deeper bonds and stronger connections in your personal, professional, and social life. You’ve got this!

50 Deep Conversation Starters for Meaningful Connections

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Harvard Graduate School of Education.Multiple intelligences.González-Treviño IM, Núñez-Rocha GM, Valencia-Hernández JM, Arrona-Palacios A.Assessment of multiple intelligences in elementary school students in Mexico: An exploratory study.Heliyon. 2020 Apr 14;6(4):e03777. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2020.e03777Al-Qatawneh SS, Alsalhi NR, Eltahir ME, Siddig OA.The representation of multiple intelligences in an intermediate Arabic-language textbook, and teachers' awareness of them in Jordanian schools.Heliyon. 2021 May 17;7(5):e07004. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e07004Lei DY, Cheng JH, Chen CM, Huang KP, James Chou C.Discussion of teaching with multiple intelligences to corporate employees' learning achievement and learning motivation.Front Psychol. 2021 Oct 18;12:770473. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.770473Okwuduba EN, Nwosu KC, Okigbo EC, Samuel NN, Achugbu C.Impact of intrapersonal and interpersonal emotional intelligence and self-directed learning on academic performance among pre-university science students.Heliyon. 2021 Mar 31;7(3):e06611. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e06611Manchana V.Interpersonal relationships, subjective health, psychological well-being, and quality of life among older adults in South India: Evidence from a population-based study.J Educ Health Promot. 2023 May 31;12:150. doi:10.4103/jehp.jehp_735_22

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Harvard Graduate School of Education.Multiple intelligences.González-Treviño IM, Núñez-Rocha GM, Valencia-Hernández JM, Arrona-Palacios A.Assessment of multiple intelligences in elementary school students in Mexico: An exploratory study.Heliyon. 2020 Apr 14;6(4):e03777. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2020.e03777Al-Qatawneh SS, Alsalhi NR, Eltahir ME, Siddig OA.The representation of multiple intelligences in an intermediate Arabic-language textbook, and teachers' awareness of them in Jordanian schools.Heliyon. 2021 May 17;7(5):e07004. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e07004Lei DY, Cheng JH, Chen CM, Huang KP, James Chou C.Discussion of teaching with multiple intelligences to corporate employees' learning achievement and learning motivation.Front Psychol. 2021 Oct 18;12:770473. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.770473Okwuduba EN, Nwosu KC, Okigbo EC, Samuel NN, Achugbu C.Impact of intrapersonal and interpersonal emotional intelligence and self-directed learning on academic performance among pre-university science students.Heliyon. 2021 Mar 31;7(3):e06611. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e06611Manchana V.Interpersonal relationships, subjective health, psychological well-being, and quality of life among older adults in South India: Evidence from a population-based study.J Educ Health Promot. 2023 May 31;12:150. doi:10.4103/jehp.jehp_735_22

Harvard Graduate School of Education.Multiple intelligences.González-Treviño IM, Núñez-Rocha GM, Valencia-Hernández JM, Arrona-Palacios A.Assessment of multiple intelligences in elementary school students in Mexico: An exploratory study.Heliyon. 2020 Apr 14;6(4):e03777. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2020.e03777Al-Qatawneh SS, Alsalhi NR, Eltahir ME, Siddig OA.The representation of multiple intelligences in an intermediate Arabic-language textbook, and teachers' awareness of them in Jordanian schools.Heliyon. 2021 May 17;7(5):e07004. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e07004Lei DY, Cheng JH, Chen CM, Huang KP, James Chou C.Discussion of teaching with multiple intelligences to corporate employees' learning achievement and learning motivation.Front Psychol. 2021 Oct 18;12:770473. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.770473Okwuduba EN, Nwosu KC, Okigbo EC, Samuel NN, Achugbu C.Impact of intrapersonal and interpersonal emotional intelligence and self-directed learning on academic performance among pre-university science students.Heliyon. 2021 Mar 31;7(3):e06611. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e06611Manchana V.Interpersonal relationships, subjective health, psychological well-being, and quality of life among older adults in South India: Evidence from a population-based study.J Educ Health Promot. 2023 May 31;12:150. doi:10.4103/jehp.jehp_735_22

Harvard Graduate School of Education.Multiple intelligences.

González-Treviño IM, Núñez-Rocha GM, Valencia-Hernández JM, Arrona-Palacios A.Assessment of multiple intelligences in elementary school students in Mexico: An exploratory study.Heliyon. 2020 Apr 14;6(4):e03777. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2020.e03777

Al-Qatawneh SS, Alsalhi NR, Eltahir ME, Siddig OA.The representation of multiple intelligences in an intermediate Arabic-language textbook, and teachers' awareness of them in Jordanian schools.Heliyon. 2021 May 17;7(5):e07004. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e07004

Lei DY, Cheng JH, Chen CM, Huang KP, James Chou C.Discussion of teaching with multiple intelligences to corporate employees' learning achievement and learning motivation.Front Psychol. 2021 Oct 18;12:770473. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.770473

Okwuduba EN, Nwosu KC, Okigbo EC, Samuel NN, Achugbu C.Impact of intrapersonal and interpersonal emotional intelligence and self-directed learning on academic performance among pre-university science students.Heliyon. 2021 Mar 31;7(3):e06611. doi:10.1016/j.heliyon.2021.e06611

Manchana V.Interpersonal relationships, subjective health, psychological well-being, and quality of life among older adults in South India: Evidence from a population-based study.J Educ Health Promot. 2023 May 31;12:150. doi:10.4103/jehp.jehp_735_22

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At a Glance#

Strike up Conversations#

Find Common Ground#

Show Empathy#

Become a Keen Observer#

Listen Actively#

Be Positive#

Participate in Social Activities#

Reflect on Your Interactions#

Learn From Mistakes#

Study Role Models#

Try Role-Play#

Take a Class#