Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Rejection Is So PainfulTypesCopingHow Can I Deal With a Fear Of Rejection?

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why Rejection Is So Painful

Types

Coping

How Can I Deal With a Fear Of Rejection?

Close

Rejection is when we seek out a connection and the object of that connection turns us down.

All people experience forms ofrejectionthroughout their lives, whether they are turned down for a job they wanted, turned down for a date, or experience a friend or romantic partner ending theirrelationship.

Sometimes, rejection is harsh, and the rejecter might be rude or cruel in their rebuff. Other times, they may let us down gently, and we still experience a strong emotional reaction to the rejection.

Learn about types of rejection and how to cope with rejection in a healthy way.

Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Rejection

Emotional pain can be intense and can even manifest physically. Research has found that the network for psychological pain overlaps to some extent with brain regions involved in physical pain. In other words, we can literally feel something like rejection as physical pain.

We Often Engage in Cognitive Distortion

Sometimes we experience specific rejection as universal rejection. For example, if someone does not get a job that they really wanted, they may take the rejection and feel as if they’re not qualified for any job in their field instead of believing that the position was just not a good fit.

This is a form ofcognitive distortionthat makes the rejection seem larger than it really is.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Some people, particularlyautistic peopleor those withADHD, experience rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). While RSD is not an official diagnostic term, RSD manifests as strong and severe emotional pain in response to real or perceived rejection. It can be difficult to cope with and cause strong emotional responses.

If you have a history ofchildhood trauma, you may be more sensitive to rejection as it may trigger memories of abuse and mistreatment.

Additionally, just like different people have different levels of tolerance for physical pain, some experience emotional pain more intensely than others.

Understanding Rejection Sensitivity and How It Can Affect You

Types Of Rejection

Rejection comes in many settings and in different forms. While all rejection is typically painful, you may have stronger reactions to some types of rejection compared to others.

In other words, you may have a different response to the same type of rejection depending on yourvulnerabilityor investment as well.

Relationship and Dating Rejection

When many people think about rejection, they first think about romantic relationships. And during the dating process, rejection may occur at various times in romantic relationships.

Here are some instances of relationship-related rejection:

Social Rejection

Not all relationships are romantic. For many, social rejection can be as significant and often even more painful than romantic rejection.

Here are some examples of social rejection:

Professional Rejection

Rejection can also occur in the professional setting.

Here are some examples:

Healthy Ways to Cope With Rejection

Unhealthy Ways to Cope With Rejection

As you go through life, you will inevitably encounter rejection. Understand that you can overcome these painful feelings and move forward. Remember that you are not alone, and your experience is valid. It takes vulnerability and courage to keep trying in the face of rejection, and you can get somewhere amazing when you continue pushing forward.

How to Deal With the Fear of Failure

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Eisenberger NI.The neural bases of social pain: evidence for shared representations with physical pain.Psychosomatic Medicine. 2012;74(2):126-135.Cacioppo, S., Frum, C., Asp, E. et al.A Quantitative Meta-Analysis of Functional Imaging Studies of Social Rejection. Sci Rep 3, 2027 (2013).Deguchi NK, Asakura T, Omiya T.Self-stigma of families of persons with autism spectrum disorder: a scoping review.Rev J Autism Dev Disord. 2021;8(3):373-388.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Eisenberger NI.The neural bases of social pain: evidence for shared representations with physical pain.Psychosomatic Medicine. 2012;74(2):126-135.Cacioppo, S., Frum, C., Asp, E. et al.A Quantitative Meta-Analysis of Functional Imaging Studies of Social Rejection. Sci Rep 3, 2027 (2013).Deguchi NK, Asakura T, Omiya T.Self-stigma of families of persons with autism spectrum disorder: a scoping review.Rev J Autism Dev Disord. 2021;8(3):373-388.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Eisenberger NI.The neural bases of social pain: evidence for shared representations with physical pain.Psychosomatic Medicine. 2012;74(2):126-135.Cacioppo, S., Frum, C., Asp, E. et al.A Quantitative Meta-Analysis of Functional Imaging Studies of Social Rejection. Sci Rep 3, 2027 (2013).Deguchi NK, Asakura T, Omiya T.Self-stigma of families of persons with autism spectrum disorder: a scoping review.Rev J Autism Dev Disord. 2021;8(3):373-388.

Eisenberger NI.The neural bases of social pain: evidence for shared representations with physical pain.Psychosomatic Medicine. 2012;74(2):126-135.

Cacioppo, S., Frum, C., Asp, E. et al.A Quantitative Meta-Analysis of Functional Imaging Studies of Social Rejection. Sci Rep 3, 2027 (2013).

Deguchi NK, Asakura T, Omiya T.Self-stigma of families of persons with autism spectrum disorder: a scoping review.Rev J Autism Dev Disord. 2021;8(3):373-388.

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