How to Deal With Micromanagers

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSignsWhy Is Micromanagement a Toxic Trait?How to Deal With a MicromanagerHow to Stop Micromanaging OthersFAQ

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs

Why Is Micromanagement a Toxic Trait?

How to Deal With a Micromanager

How to Stop Micromanaging Others

FAQ

A micromanager is someone who operates with excessive control and attention to detail.Working or interacting with them can be difficult because they can be controlling, critical, distrustful, and even suffocating.

“There are micromanaging bosses, family members, teachers, coworkers, and sometimes even friends or partners,” saysAimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

If you’re dealing with a micromanager, it’s important toset firm boundariesin your communication with them, in order to keep them from trying to control you. Otherwise, a micromanager can try to control every detail of your work or personal life, says Dr. Daramus.

This article explores the signs and toxic effects of micromanagement. It also suggests some strategies that can help you deal with a micromanager or stop micromanaging others.

Signs of Micromanagement

These are some of the characteristics of micromanagement, according to Dr. Daramus:

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Micromanagement can be a toxic trait and that can lead to several negative outcomes for everyone involved.

Micromanaging someone can border onbullying, and as a result the person may feel frustrated, angry, and belittled, saysHelene D’Jay, MS, LPC, executive director of young adult services at Newport Healthcare, Connecticut.

In fact, micromanagers often harm themselves in the process too, says Dr. Daramus. She explains that micromanagers genuinely believe they’re helping and often expect praise or thanks for everything they do. “However, if a micromanager takes over your project, redoes everything you did, then expects you to thank them for undoing all your work, you’re not going to feel very appreciative.” As a result, the micromanager may feel disappointed and underappreciated.

Dr. Daramus suggests some strategies that can help you deal with a micromanager.

Set Firm Boundaries

If you notice a micromanager trying to take over,set firm boundariesimmediately.

For instance, if they’re not actually in charge, don’t let them pretend like they’re in charge. Politely but firmly treat them as equals to everyone else.

It can be a little harder to tell your boss to stop micromanaging you; however, you can have the conversation diplomatically. Let them know that you’re capable of handling the task and would appreciate some autonomy. You can let them know how you’re planning to do it and commit to periodic updates, in order togain their trust.

Tell Them How Their Behavior Is Affecting You

If the micromanager’s behavior continues, express how their actions are impacting you. Have an open and honest conversation with them, keeping the focus on how their behavior is affecting you. Avoid labeling or judging their behavior.

If it’s a personal relationship, you can let them know that their need forcontrolis harming your relationship and making you feel angry, stressed, frustrated, and undervalued. Seeing things from your perspective may cause them to ease up on their behavior.

If it’s a workplace relationship, you can explain how their behavior is affecting your ability to do your job. For instance, if the time taken to write detailed daily updates is taking away from the time you would spend actually doing the task, you can explain this and suggest weekly updates instead.

Understand Their Motivations

When you’re dealing with a micromanager, it can be helpful to understand their motivations. By understanding what’s driving their behavior, you can take steps to address their concerns and gain their trust. This can put you in a better position to set boundaries that will be respected.

For instance, if you know your manager is worried about meeting an upcoming quarterly target, align your interests with theirs. Let them know what steps you’re taking to achieve the target and how much progress you’ve made. The following quarter, they may ease up on you a little because they trust you to handle it and know you’re working toward the same goal.

Distance Yourself If Their Behavior Doesn’t Change

You may find that the micromanager’s controlling behavior continues despite your efforts to try communicating with them and set boundaries with them.

Aimee Daramus, PsyDNot all micromanagers can or will change. At some point, you may have to decide whether it’s worth leaving the job, relationship, or friendship in order to protect yourself.

Aimee Daramus, PsyD

Not all micromanagers can or will change. At some point, you may have to decide whether it’s worth leaving the job, relationship, or friendship in order to protect yourself.

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If someone in your life has pointed out that you’re trying to micromanage them, these are some steps you can take to stop being a micromanager:

Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked QuestionsThe best way to deal with a micromanager is to try and have a conversation with them and let them know that you’re capable of doing the work. Aligning yourself with their goals and gaining their trust may help you gain some breathing room.However, if nothing works, you may have to walk away from the relationship in order to protect yourself.Micromanagement can be a form of bullying or harassment, particularly if the person speaks rudely to you, demeans you, or insults you.If the micromanager is a manager or colleague in your workplace, you should consider involving HR.

The best way to deal with a micromanager is to try and have a conversation with them and let them know that you’re capable of doing the work. Aligning yourself with their goals and gaining their trust may help you gain some breathing room.However, if nothing works, you may have to walk away from the relationship in order to protect yourself.

However, if nothing works, you may have to walk away from the relationship in order to protect yourself.

Micromanagement can be a form of bullying or harassment, particularly if the person speaks rudely to you, demeans you, or insults you.If the micromanager is a manager or colleague in your workplace, you should consider involving HR.

Micromanagement can be a form of bullying or harassment, particularly if the person speaks rudely to you, demeans you, or insults you.

If the micromanager is a manager or colleague in your workplace, you should consider involving HR.

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5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Van de Ridder JMM, DeSanctis JT, Mookerjee AL, Rajput V.Micromanagement creates a nonconducive learning environment for a teaching team.J Grad Med Educ. 2020;12(5):639-640. doi:10.4300/JGME-D-20-00926.1Walden University.Are you a micromanager? Ask yourself these questions.Mookerjee A, Li B, Arora B, Surapaneni R, Rajput V, Van de Ridder M.Micromanagement during clinical supervision: solutions to the challenges.Cureus. 2022;14(3):e23523. doi:10.7759/cureus.23523Cleary M, Hungerford C, Lopez V, Cutcliffe JR.Towards effective management in psychiatric-mental health nursing: the dangers and consequences of micromanagement.IssuesMent Health Nurs. 2015;36(6):424-429. doi:10.3109/01612840.2014.968694Harvard Business School.How to stop micromanaging.

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Van de Ridder JMM, DeSanctis JT, Mookerjee AL, Rajput V.Micromanagement creates a nonconducive learning environment for a teaching team.J Grad Med Educ. 2020;12(5):639-640. doi:10.4300/JGME-D-20-00926.1Walden University.Are you a micromanager? Ask yourself these questions.Mookerjee A, Li B, Arora B, Surapaneni R, Rajput V, Van de Ridder M.Micromanagement during clinical supervision: solutions to the challenges.Cureus. 2022;14(3):e23523. doi:10.7759/cureus.23523Cleary M, Hungerford C, Lopez V, Cutcliffe JR.Towards effective management in psychiatric-mental health nursing: the dangers and consequences of micromanagement.IssuesMent Health Nurs. 2015;36(6):424-429. doi:10.3109/01612840.2014.968694Harvard Business School.How to stop micromanaging.

Van de Ridder JMM, DeSanctis JT, Mookerjee AL, Rajput V.Micromanagement creates a nonconducive learning environment for a teaching team.J Grad Med Educ. 2020;12(5):639-640. doi:10.4300/JGME-D-20-00926.1Walden University.Are you a micromanager? Ask yourself these questions.Mookerjee A, Li B, Arora B, Surapaneni R, Rajput V, Van de Ridder M.Micromanagement during clinical supervision: solutions to the challenges.Cureus. 2022;14(3):e23523. doi:10.7759/cureus.23523Cleary M, Hungerford C, Lopez V, Cutcliffe JR.Towards effective management in psychiatric-mental health nursing: the dangers and consequences of micromanagement.IssuesMent Health Nurs. 2015;36(6):424-429. doi:10.3109/01612840.2014.968694Harvard Business School.How to stop micromanaging.

Walden University.Are you a micromanager? Ask yourself these questions.

Mookerjee A, Li B, Arora B, Surapaneni R, Rajput V, Van de Ridder M.Micromanagement during clinical supervision: solutions to the challenges.Cureus. 2022;14(3):e23523. doi:10.7759/cureus.23523

Cleary M, Hungerford C, Lopez V, Cutcliffe JR.Towards effective management in psychiatric-mental health nursing: the dangers and consequences of micromanagement.IssuesMent Health Nurs. 2015;36(6):424-429. doi:10.3109/01612840.2014.968694

Harvard Business School.How to stop micromanaging.

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Signs of Micromanagement#

Set Firm Boundaries#

Tell Them How Their Behavior Is Affecting You#

Understand Their Motivations#

Distance Yourself If Their Behavior Doesn’t Change#

Aimee Daramus, PsyD#

Frequently Asked Questions#