How to Deal With Abandonment Issues in Your Relationships

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSignsCausesHow to Overcome Abandonment IssuesCoping StrategiesCan I Heal?

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs

Causes

How to Overcome Abandonment Issues

Coping Strategies

Can I Heal?

People with abandonment issues may struggle to maintain healthy relationships, constantly experience anxiety and fear, and have difficulty trusting others, saysHelene D’Jay, MS, LPC, executive director of young adult services at Newport Healthcare, Connecticut.

If you or a loved one have a fear of abandonment and find that it’s affecting your life, it can be helpful to seek therapy from a mental healthcare provider. With therapy, it’s possible to feel less anxious and form healthierattachments, says D’Jay.

This article explores the signs and potential causes of abandonment issues, as well as some treatment and coping strategies that can help you overcome them.

Signs of Abandonment Issues

According to D’Jay, abandonment issues can cause you to experience both emotional and behavioral symptoms, such as:

In children, D’Jay says abandonment issues can cause symptoms such as:

Research has found that abandonment can lead to mental and physical health issues such as depression, phobias, substance use, anxiety,eating disorders, and other medical conditions.

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Causes of Abandonment Issues

These are some of the potential causes of abandonment issues, according to D’Jay:

Helene D’Jay, MS, LPCAbandonment issues are generally rooted in loneliness, a sense of loss, or a fear of change.

Helene D’Jay, MS, LPC

Abandonment issues are generally rooted in loneliness, a sense of loss, or a fear of change.

Triggering Abandonment Issues

How to Treat and Overcome Abandonment Issues

According to the experts, fear of abandonment can be overcome with treatment options such as therapy and medication, as well as healthy coping strategies.

Therapy

These are some of the types of therapy that can help, according to D’Jay:

Medication

If you’re experiencing severe anxiety, your healthcare provider might prescribe medication in addition to therapy. “Medication can help reduce overall anxiety and allow you to then benefit from talk therapy,” says D’Jay.

Coping Strategies for Abandonment Issues

In addition to therapy, these are some other coping strategies that can be helpful:

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Is It Possible to Heal From Abandonment Issues?

Yes, it is possible to let go of abandonment issues and heal.

A combination of therapy and treatment options, as well as other coping mechanisms, can help you manage your anxiety, heal your trauma, chart a path toward healthy relationships, and improve your confidence and self-esteem, says D’Jay.

How to Overcome a Fear of Rejection

5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Zerubavel N, Messman-Moore TL, DiLillo D, Gratz KL.Childhood sexual abuse and fear of abandonment moderate the relation of intimate partner violence to severity of dissociation.J Trauma Dissociation. 2018;19(1):9-24. doi:10.1080/15299732.2017.1289491Otowa T, York TP, Gardner CO, Kendler KS, Hettema JM.The impact of childhood parental loss on risk for mood, anxiety and substance use disorders in a population-based sample of male twins.Psychiatry Res. 2014;220(1-2):404-409. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2014.07.053Watterson RL, Crowe M, Jordan J, Lovell S, Carter JD.A tale of childhood loss, conditional acceptance and a fear of abandonment: a qualitative study taking a narrative approach to eating disorders.Qual Health Res. 2023;10497323231152142. doi:10.1177/10497323231152142O’Hara KL, Rhodes CA, Wolchik SA, Sandler IN, Yun-Tein J.Longitudinal effects of post-divorce interparental conflict on children’s mental health problems through fear of abandonment: does parenting quality play a buffering role?Child Dev. 2021;92(4):1476-1493. doi:10.1111/cdev.13539Palihawadana V, Broadbear JH, Rao S.Reviewing the clinical significance of ‘fear of abandonment’ in borderline personality disorder.Australas Psychiatry. 2019;27(1):60-63. doi:10.1177/1039856218810154

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Zerubavel N, Messman-Moore TL, DiLillo D, Gratz KL.Childhood sexual abuse and fear of abandonment moderate the relation of intimate partner violence to severity of dissociation.J Trauma Dissociation. 2018;19(1):9-24. doi:10.1080/15299732.2017.1289491Otowa T, York TP, Gardner CO, Kendler KS, Hettema JM.The impact of childhood parental loss on risk for mood, anxiety and substance use disorders in a population-based sample of male twins.Psychiatry Res. 2014;220(1-2):404-409. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2014.07.053Watterson RL, Crowe M, Jordan J, Lovell S, Carter JD.A tale of childhood loss, conditional acceptance and a fear of abandonment: a qualitative study taking a narrative approach to eating disorders.Qual Health Res. 2023;10497323231152142. doi:10.1177/10497323231152142O’Hara KL, Rhodes CA, Wolchik SA, Sandler IN, Yun-Tein J.Longitudinal effects of post-divorce interparental conflict on children’s mental health problems through fear of abandonment: does parenting quality play a buffering role?Child Dev. 2021;92(4):1476-1493. doi:10.1111/cdev.13539Palihawadana V, Broadbear JH, Rao S.Reviewing the clinical significance of ‘fear of abandonment’ in borderline personality disorder.Australas Psychiatry. 2019;27(1):60-63. doi:10.1177/1039856218810154

Zerubavel N, Messman-Moore TL, DiLillo D, Gratz KL.Childhood sexual abuse and fear of abandonment moderate the relation of intimate partner violence to severity of dissociation.J Trauma Dissociation. 2018;19(1):9-24. doi:10.1080/15299732.2017.1289491Otowa T, York TP, Gardner CO, Kendler KS, Hettema JM.The impact of childhood parental loss on risk for mood, anxiety and substance use disorders in a population-based sample of male twins.Psychiatry Res. 2014;220(1-2):404-409. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2014.07.053Watterson RL, Crowe M, Jordan J, Lovell S, Carter JD.A tale of childhood loss, conditional acceptance and a fear of abandonment: a qualitative study taking a narrative approach to eating disorders.Qual Health Res. 2023;10497323231152142. doi:10.1177/10497323231152142O’Hara KL, Rhodes CA, Wolchik SA, Sandler IN, Yun-Tein J.Longitudinal effects of post-divorce interparental conflict on children’s mental health problems through fear of abandonment: does parenting quality play a buffering role?Child Dev. 2021;92(4):1476-1493. doi:10.1111/cdev.13539Palihawadana V, Broadbear JH, Rao S.Reviewing the clinical significance of ‘fear of abandonment’ in borderline personality disorder.Australas Psychiatry. 2019;27(1):60-63. doi:10.1177/1039856218810154

Otowa T, York TP, Gardner CO, Kendler KS, Hettema JM.The impact of childhood parental loss on risk for mood, anxiety and substance use disorders in a population-based sample of male twins.Psychiatry Res. 2014;220(1-2):404-409. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2014.07.053

Watterson RL, Crowe M, Jordan J, Lovell S, Carter JD.A tale of childhood loss, conditional acceptance and a fear of abandonment: a qualitative study taking a narrative approach to eating disorders.Qual Health Res. 2023;10497323231152142. doi:10.1177/10497323231152142

O’Hara KL, Rhodes CA, Wolchik SA, Sandler IN, Yun-Tein J.Longitudinal effects of post-divorce interparental conflict on children’s mental health problems through fear of abandonment: does parenting quality play a buffering role?Child Dev. 2021;92(4):1476-1493. doi:10.1111/cdev.13539

Palihawadana V, Broadbear JH, Rao S.Reviewing the clinical significance of ‘fear of abandonment’ in borderline personality disorder.Australas Psychiatry. 2019;27(1):60-63. doi:10.1177/1039856218810154

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Signs of Abandonment Issues#

Causes of Abandonment Issues#

Helene D’Jay, MS, LPC#

Triggering Abandonment Issues#

How to Treat and Overcome Abandonment Issues#

Therapy#

Medication#

Coping Strategies for Abandonment Issues#

Is It Possible to Heal From Abandonment Issues?#