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What You Should Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

12 Signs of a Narcissistic Parent

It is sometimes hard to spot a narcissistic parent—especially narcissistic parents to young children who cannot express themselves—because they tend to control the image of their parenting very well. As the child gets older, though, signs often become more apparent.Rachel Ruiz, LCSW, says that in her experience these are some of the most common behaviors of a narcissistic parent:

A Note About “Diagnosing” NPD in Others

“It can help to recognize when it’s possible a parent has NPD so you can understand how to interact with them,” says Ruiz. She adds, “The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) notes that NPD is a ‘pervasive pattern,’ so you would want to notice these cues ongoing and in a way that impacts the overall quality of the relationship.”

5 Types of Narcissism and How to Spot Them

The Toll of a Narcissistic Parent

Narcissistic parents consistently fail to engage in empathy or compassion with their children, which can have negative impacts that last into adulthood.

Fawn Response

This can present as aninability to say nowithout feeling guilt, being overly accommodating to the point your needs are neglected, and having poor boundaries.

Mimicking

“This is completely understandable [because] it’s common to protect yourself with a “fight” response, which can look like defensiveness or arguing,” says Ruiz. “Rest assured, it’s normal to get caught up in the narcissistic dynamic, and if you notice this happening, it may be a sign to take a break from interacting with the parent in order to get support for yourself.”

Poor Self-Esteem

A narcissistic parent’s behavior can greatly impact their child’sself-esteem. They may find it difficult to celebrate their achievements, experience “imposter syndrome,” have a difficult time making friends, and have negative thoughts about themselves. Some children of narcissistic parents also struggle with anxiety, sadness, and depression.

Can a Narcissist Love?

How To Deal With a Narcissistic Parent

The dynamic between child and parent can often be inherently challenging, and introducing a mental health condition such as NPD only compounds the issue. That said, there’s no “right” answer for how to deal with a narcissistic parent.

For some, this may look like completely eliminating contact or limiting contact drastically. For others, it may mean maintaining the relationship, but stepping back emotionally. Here are some strategies to consider.

Ceasing All Contact

One way to deal with a narcissistic parent is to remove yourself from the relationship entirely. This clearly defined boundary is particularly helpful if you’ve already made many attempts to salvage the relationship without any demonstrated improvements and you need to protect yourself.

“If you feel that [the relationship] is negatively impacting yourmental health—you are becoming fearful, depressed, or panicked during interactions—stop contact at least until you seek professional support for yourself and can come up with a game plan,” Ruiz says.

Limited Contact

Limited contact may look like getting together just on special occasions like a holiday or birthday, limiting the time you communicate via phone or text, or shortening visits. Having ‘buffer’ people present when spending time with a narcissistic parent can help things go more smoothly, as can participating in an enjoyable activity. Planningself-carefollowing a visit can also help you decompress.

Maintaining Communication

It’s OK to maintain communication with a narcissistic parent permitting you feel comfortable doing so. That said, whether you decide to move to “limited contact” or continue engaging per usual, it’s important to create some clear boundaries and adjust your mindset with a narcissistic parent.

Here are some techniques and strategies that can help your interactions go more smoothly:

The Role of Genetics in Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Dealing with a narcissistic parent is extremely challenging. Whether you decide to cease the relationship or maintain it with caveats, remember to take care of yourself first. Also know that you can love this person and care about them without bending over backwards to create a strong relationship.

‘I Hate My Family:’ What to Do If You Feel This Way

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.“Personality disorders.” National Institute of Mental Health.Dsm-5: What it is & what it diagnoses. (n.d.). Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved March 29, 2023, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24291-diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-dsm-5

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.“Personality disorders.” National Institute of Mental Health.Dsm-5: What it is & what it diagnoses. (n.d.). Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved March 29, 2023, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24291-diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-dsm-5

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

“Personality disorders.” National Institute of Mental Health.Dsm-5: What it is & what it diagnoses. (n.d.). Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved March 29, 2023, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24291-diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-dsm-5

“Personality disorders.” National Institute of Mental Health.

Dsm-5: What it is & what it diagnoses. (n.d.). Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved March 29, 2023, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24291-diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-dsm-5

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