Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsExamples of Condescending BehaviorImpact on Romantic RelationshipsWhy People Are CondescendingHow to Deal With a Condescending PartnerFrequently Asked Questions
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Examples of Condescending Behavior
Impact on Romantic Relationships
Why People Are Condescending
How to Deal With a Condescending Partner
Frequently Asked Questions
Close
Dealing with aromanticpartner who is condescending can be difficult, and painful. When someone is condescending, they talk down to you and act in a way that implies that they are better than you. It inherently shows alack of respect, since the person seeks to show you that you are inferior to them. Their tone, words, and mannerisms all focus on making you feel less than them.
This article will clarify what condescending behavior looks like in a relationship, how you can respond if your partner is condescending towards you, and resources for dealing with a condescending partner.
Signs You Might Be In an Unhealthy Relationship, And What to Do
How Do I Know If My Partner Is Being Condescending Towards Me?
Sarcasm, eye-rolling, and even “playful” behaviors taken too far and at someone else’s expense are also condescending actions.
Examples of Condescending Behaviors
Here are some examples of condescending behaviors:
How Condescending Behaviors Impact Romantic Relationships
“Condescending behaviors in an intimate relationship can cause a pattern of abusive communication, [and] inflict emotional pain for the one who is being talked down to,” statesKarina S. Hester, LMFT, a therapist at Grow Therapy.
A person who experiences this type of behavior from their romantic partner suffers mentally and emotionally.
Karina S. Hester, LMFTCondescending behaviors in an intimate relationship can cause a pattern of abusive communication, [and] inflict emotional pain for the one who is being talked down to.
Karina S. Hester, LMFT
Condescending behaviors in an intimate relationship can cause a pattern of abusive communication, [and] inflict emotional pain for the one who is being talked down to.
Reasons Why People Are Condescending
Condescending behaviors often come from people who areinsecure, controlling, and afraid to bevulnerable.
Research shows that people withnarcissistic personality disorderare often condescending towards others.
A condescending person may not even realize that their behavior is problematic and hurtful. However, their actions and words speak very loudly.
How to Deal With Someone Who Is Passive- Aggressive
If you have been insulted, treated as an inferior, and made to feel as though your thoughts and feelings don’t matter, it can be unnerving to think about confronting the person responsible.
However,staying in an unhealthy relationshipis damaging to your mental and emotional health. But, there are steps you can take so you can operate from a healthier place.
Confront Your Partner
Address the Issue ASAPMetz gives practical examples of how to handle belittling statements.“If a partner talks or behaves in a condescending manner, it is best to address this issue early on and in a direct manner. Use simple statements like, ‘When you say my job isn’t as important as yours, it makes me feel disrespected. I love my job, and though I may not earn as much as you do, it is still important to me. I would appreciate it if you would stop commenting on it.’
Address the Issue ASAP
Metz gives practical examples of how to handle belittling statements.“If a partner talks or behaves in a condescending manner, it is best to address this issue early on and in a direct manner. Use simple statements like, ‘When you say my job isn’t as important as yours, it makes me feel disrespected. I love my job, and though I may not earn as much as you do, it is still important to me. I would appreciate it if you would stop commenting on it.’
Metz gives practical examples of how to handle belittling statements.
“If a partner talks or behaves in a condescending manner, it is best to address this issue early on and in a direct manner. Use simple statements like, ‘When you say my job isn’t as important as yours, it makes me feel disrespected. I love my job, and though I may not earn as much as you do, it is still important to me. I would appreciate it if you would stop commenting on it.’
Ask Your Partner Why They Are Being Condescending
Acting in a condescending way may be natural to some people. Helping them to think about what they are doing and why can be the first step toward changing your relationship dynamic.
“When people act condescendingly towards others, they expect others not to challenge their behavior. By asking someone genuinely why they would make a condescending remark or want to be unkind and hurtful, they may be caught off guard and think about a pattern of behavior that could have become second nature to them," says Lurie.
Lurie notes that having this conversation could be healthy for the relationship and lead to much-needed boundaries.
How to Set Boundaries With Your Partner
Find a Relationship Therapist
A neutral third party who is professionally trained can help you both get to the root of the condescending behavior. If a partner is condescending because they feel threatened, insecure, or haveunprocessed trauma, a therapist can help deal with those issues.
A relationship therapist can also provide each person with tools to improve the way you and your partner interact with each other so that you can work towards a healthier bond.
If both parties are willing to listen, work, and learn, attending sessions with a therapist can be a valuable growth experience.
Relationship Counseling: What You Need to Know
Protect Your Own Mental Health
Lean On Your Support System“Spending more time with those who build you up and offer you support is also essential to protecting your mental health while dealing with a condescending partner,” Lurie notes.
Lean On Your Support System
“Spending more time with those who build you up and offer you support is also essential to protecting your mental health while dealing with a condescending partner,” Lurie notes.
Leave If You Feel Unsafe
If your partner makes you feel threatened in any way, or there is any risk of physical violence, you need to get help.
No matter what course of action you decide to take, your health should be the top priority.
Other resources include safe shelter organizations, local safe haven programs, and support groups. Individual therapy can also help you process andleave an abusive situation.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Frequently Asked QuestionsWhile similar in that condescending and patronizing behavior make the person on the receiving end feel inferior, condescending behavior is meant to show someone’s superiority over another person.But, the term patronizing implies an air of infantilization in how someone treats you (i.e., someone sort of makes you feel like a child).Yes, condescension is a form of disrespect as it is used to belittle another person.
While similar in that condescending and patronizing behavior make the person on the receiving end feel inferior, condescending behavior is meant to show someone’s superiority over another person.But, the term patronizing implies an air of infantilization in how someone treats you (i.e., someone sort of makes you feel like a child).
Yes, condescension is a form of disrespect as it is used to belittle another person.
Letting Go of a Relationship That Is Stressing You Out
4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Briggs CQ, Gardner DM, Ryan AM.Competence-Questioning Communication and Gender: Exploring Mansplaining, Ignoring, and Interruption Behaviors [published online ahead of print, 2023 Jan 9].J Bus Psychol. 2023;1-29. doi:10.1007/s10869-022-09871-7Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Mansplain.Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic personality disorder: are psychodynamic theories and the alternative dsm-5 model for personality disorders finally going to meet?Front Psychol. 2021;12:676733.Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Patronize.
4 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Briggs CQ, Gardner DM, Ryan AM.Competence-Questioning Communication and Gender: Exploring Mansplaining, Ignoring, and Interruption Behaviors [published online ahead of print, 2023 Jan 9].J Bus Psychol. 2023;1-29. doi:10.1007/s10869-022-09871-7Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Mansplain.Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic personality disorder: are psychodynamic theories and the alternative dsm-5 model for personality disorders finally going to meet?Front Psychol. 2021;12:676733.Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Patronize.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Briggs CQ, Gardner DM, Ryan AM.Competence-Questioning Communication and Gender: Exploring Mansplaining, Ignoring, and Interruption Behaviors [published online ahead of print, 2023 Jan 9].J Bus Psychol. 2023;1-29. doi:10.1007/s10869-022-09871-7Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Mansplain.Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic personality disorder: are psychodynamic theories and the alternative dsm-5 model for personality disorders finally going to meet?Front Psychol. 2021;12:676733.Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Patronize.
Briggs CQ, Gardner DM, Ryan AM.Competence-Questioning Communication and Gender: Exploring Mansplaining, Ignoring, and Interruption Behaviors [published online ahead of print, 2023 Jan 9].J Bus Psychol. 2023;1-29. doi:10.1007/s10869-022-09871-7
Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Mansplain.
Schalkwijk F, Luyten P, Ingenhoven T, Dekker J.Narcissistic personality disorder: are psychodynamic theories and the alternative dsm-5 model for personality disorders finally going to meet?Front Psychol. 2021;12:676733.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary.Patronize.
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