How to Date Yourself (And Why You Should)

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsBarriers to Dating YourselfSteps to Take Before Dating YourselfSolo Date Ideas and Activities

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Barriers to Dating Yourself

Steps to Take Before Dating Yourself

Solo Date Ideas and Activities

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If you’ve had a hard time dating, either because you’ve been rejected, you’re constantly disappointed, or you’re just not meeting the right type of partner, it might be time to go inward.

Even if you’re not looking for a romantic partner at this time, spending time thinking about your likes and dislikes as well as your goals can enable you to be clearer about who you are. You’ll become more comfortable just being you and participating in the world.

This article discusses barriers to dating yourself and focusing on self-care, self-love, and gratitude. It concludes with specific ways to go out with yourself and the benefits of dating yourself.

While it sounds a little self-indulgent, it makes sense to date yourself and go deep to discover who you are. Some reasons you might feel uncomfortable with this concept might include:

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When you date online or through an app, you get to know one another after making overtures. You converse, ask questions and build rapport. When you meet in person, you usually eat, drink or participate in an activity. The point is you’re assessing and learning about one another to determine if you want to take the relationship further.

When you date yourself, you areactively listeningto yourself. You’re determining your likes, dislikes, passions, andvulnerabilities. You are valuing yourself, caring for yourself, and figuring out what matters most.

Self-Care

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Safeguard Your Physical and Mental Health

The first step in self-care is to pay attention to your physical and mental health and make it a priority. That means you practicegood sleep hygiene. If you haven’t already begun to, you also eat nutritiously becausewhat you eat impacts your stress and anxiety.Exercise regularlyfor both its physical and mental health benefits.

You’ll want to develop strategies for self-care, plan ahead onwhat you’ll do when stressors and challenges arrive, and be sure to schedule time just for you.

Be Kind To Yourself

We wouldn’t typically treat our brothers or colleagues unkindly. Yet, we sometimes talk meanly or critically to ourselves without a second thought.

That inner critic that chastises you for your mistakes decreases your sense of motivation at the same time. Persistent negative views of yourself may even instill feelings of helplessness.

Negative self-talk can be toxic. It’s best to neutralize this voice, challenge it, or treat yourself in the first place as you would your bestie. Treat yourself withself-compassionas you are a human being doing the best you can.

Get Rid of Distractions

But in the long term, it’s better to face things and be honest with yourself. By slowing down and focusing on yourself for a change, you will become present. Notice your feelings and emotions and process them through some of these practices:

How to Become More Mindful in Your Everyday Life

Self-Love

You’ve heard that if you’re on an airplane in an emergency to put on the oxygen mask first, and only then can you help others. In the same way, it’s important to focus on and love yourself first. Only then can you give to and love others. Therefore, it’s wise to date yourself first.

Bianca L. Rodriguez, EdM, licensed marriage and family therapist says, “The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Learning to love, appreciate and celebrate yourself is a skill most people aren’t taught, but they should be. Dating yourself can help you build self-love.”

It’s important to have high self-esteem. When you’re confident and have high self-esteem, you love yourself, believe your ideas have value, have self-respect, and can maintain a positive image of yourself.

Learning to love, appreciate and celebrate yourself is a skill most people aren’t taught, but they should be.—BIANCA L. RODRIGUEZ, EDM, LMFT

Learning to love, appreciate and celebrate yourself is a skill most people aren’t taught, but they should be.

—BIANCA L. RODRIGUEZ, EDM, LMFT

Rodriguez adds, “When you take the time to date yourself, you acknowledge your worth which is the underpinning of healthy self-esteem and (having healthy) boundaries.”

Gratitude

When you appreciate who you are and what you have, you activate gratitude.Gratitude makes you happier. It also reduces your pain level, increases your immunity, and positively impacts your psychological well-being.

Recent research looked at the effect of a gratitude intervention on a sample of adults and how it related to well-being and mental health. The study showed that the gratitude intervention increased positive affect, subjective happiness, and life satisfaction. Gratitude also helped reduce negative affect and depression symptoms.

Showing appreciation for yourself will likely make you even more comfortable expressing appreciation to others. Once you start dating again, your interpersonal relationships can only get better.

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Here are some simple solo date ideas to try out on a free day or weekend:

A Word From Verywell

Once you take care of yourself, give yourself love and appreciate who you are, you’ve changed your mindset. You’ve also modified your outlook in a positive way. You’ll no longer worry about people-pleasing or concern yourself with being liked. You’ll bring a stronger you when you start dating others. You’ve grown yourinner confidenceand inner strength.

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2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Godfrey CM, Harrison MB, Lysaght R, Lamb M, Graham ID, Oakley P.The experience of self-care: a systematic review.JBI Libr Syst Rev. 2010;8(34):1351-1460. doi:10.11124/01938924-201008340-00001Cunha LF, Pellanda LC, Reppold CT.Positive Psychology and Gratitude Interventions: A Randomized Clinical Trial.Front Psychol. 2019;10:584. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Godfrey CM, Harrison MB, Lysaght R, Lamb M, Graham ID, Oakley P.The experience of self-care: a systematic review.JBI Libr Syst Rev. 2010;8(34):1351-1460. doi:10.11124/01938924-201008340-00001Cunha LF, Pellanda LC, Reppold CT.Positive Psychology and Gratitude Interventions: A Randomized Clinical Trial.Front Psychol. 2019;10:584. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Godfrey CM, Harrison MB, Lysaght R, Lamb M, Graham ID, Oakley P.The experience of self-care: a systematic review.JBI Libr Syst Rev. 2010;8(34):1351-1460. doi:10.11124/01938924-201008340-00001Cunha LF, Pellanda LC, Reppold CT.Positive Psychology and Gratitude Interventions: A Randomized Clinical Trial.Front Psychol. 2019;10:584. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584

Godfrey CM, Harrison MB, Lysaght R, Lamb M, Graham ID, Oakley P.The experience of self-care: a systematic review.JBI Libr Syst Rev. 2010;8(34):1351-1460. doi:10.11124/01938924-201008340-00001

Cunha LF, Pellanda LC, Reppold CT.Positive Psychology and Gratitude Interventions: A Randomized Clinical Trial.Front Psychol. 2019;10:584. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584

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