How to Build Community Support & Self-Love When Living With a Chronic Illness

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow Chronic Illness Affects Mental HealthHow to Build Community and Feel Good About Yourself

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How Chronic Illness Affects Mental Health

How to Build Community and Feel Good About Yourself

Close

Every Friday onThe Verywell Mind Podcast, host Minaa B., a licensed social worker, mental health educator, and author of “Owning Our Struggles,” interviews experts, wellness advocates, and individuals with lived experiences about community care and its impact on mental health.

When you think of the termchronic illness,what comes to mind? Many of us likely picture someone in constant physical pain or who’s always under the weather. Those mental images can definitely be accurate. But mental health conditions and some skin conditions like psoriasis count, too. If you’re a little confused about what constitutes chronic illness, it’s OK; we’ve got you covered.

According to the CDC, a chronic illness is any condition lasting for a year or more that impacts someone’s daily functioning or requires treatment (or both).If this sounds stressful, it’s because it is. And, not only can chronic illness causephysicalpain—it can wreak havoc on our mental health (more on this later).

To better understand how chronic illness can impact someone’s life, we interviewedNitika Chopra, the founder and CEO of the chronic illness communityChronicon. Chopra has kindly agreed to talk about her experience living withpsoriasis, psoriatic arthritis, and myasthenia gravis (an autoimmune disease that weakens skeletal muscles).She also offers some tips for dealing with chronic illness, like finding your supportive community and cultivating love for the most important person in your life—you.

At a GlanceApproximately 6 in 10 people have a chronic illness, aka a condition that is lifelong. Living with a chronic illness can lead to depression, poor self-esteem, and anxiety, but building genuine friendships, advocating for your needs, and practicing body neutrality can help boost your overall well-being.

At a Glance

Approximately 6 in 10 people have a chronic illness, aka a condition that is lifelong. Living with a chronic illness can lead to depression, poor self-esteem, and anxiety, but building genuine friendships, advocating for your needs, and practicing body neutrality can help boost your overall well-being.

We Need to Shed Some Light On the Mental Health Effects of These Common Chronic Illnesses

Before we get into what causes chronic illnesses and how to conquer them, it helps to get some background knowledge on what they are. In doing so, we can learn to be moreempatheticabout what others are going through.

Nitika Chopra, Founder and CEO of ChroniconI was feeling very, very alone with my chronic illnesses.

Nitika Chopra, Founder and CEO of Chronicon

I was feeling very, very alone with my chronic illnesses.

So, let’s talk about what some common chronic illnesses look like and why they can be so debilitating—both physically and mentally:

Crisis SupportIf you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.988

Crisis Support

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

988

So, why is knowing all of the above even important? Well, for starters, learning informationanddiscussing sensitive topics is one of the first steps in shutting downstigma. Conversations put shame to bed and normalize what people are going through.

Plus, with some more understanding of chronic illness, we can learn to extend more empathy and compassion—somethingeveryonedeserves.

So, How Can Those of Us With a Chronic Illness Build Community And Feel Good About Ourselves?

Chopra opened up about living with multiple chronic conditions, “I was feeling very, very alone with my chronic illnesses, and then [I] kind of just assumed ‘Oh, maybe there aren’t that many of us.'”

She soon learned, however, that there are nearly 133 million people in the United States who have a chronic illness!That’s a big community to connect with and the whole reason why she started Chronicon—so no one would have to feel as alone as she did.

She believes that “There’s a lot of trust and intimacy in community care” and shared some awesome tips about how to live your best life when living with a chronic illness. This includes both building healthy (and helpful) support systems and cultivating self-love.

Body neutrality has also been shown to improve self-esteem for those living with a chronic condition or disability.

Stay Away From Superficial Friendships and Fake Friends

Chopra makes it clear that superficial friendships are less than fulfilling. And for good reason: superficial friendships orfake friendshipsare not only unfulfilling, but they also make us feel crappy.

We can all relate, right? You meet someone you think is sort of cool and you hang out with them a few times, maybe you hang out with them a lot, but there’s no real sense of connection. You don’t ask them for advice, and you certainly don’t call them when you need a shoulder to cry on. Maybe these friendships work for some people, but a more stable and reliable support system is recommended for people with chronic illnesses.

Nitika Chopra, Founder and CEO of ChroniconThere’s a lot of trust and intimacy in community care.

There’s a lot of trust and intimacy in community care.

Chopra toldMinaa B., the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast, that many people with chronic illnesses long for deep connections with others who really get their struggles and their needs. She recalls how living with psoriasis, a visible chronic illness, made her feel different from others.

“I was never like anyone around me…My psoriasis…was incredibly visible. It was from the tip of my foot to the [top] of my head," she says. Chopra notes how important it was to find people who cared enough to learn about her conditions: “When I think about making friends, I was always trying to be like everyone else. And my needs were different than other people.”

Eventually. she learned to “filter out” the people who didn’t viewfriendshipin the same way she did.

So, if you’re the type of person who wants something real when it comes to friendships, don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that don’t serve you.

Finding Your Community Is an Act of Self-LoveThe ability to make our own choices is one of our biggest assets when it comes to self-love! We are free to choose who we associate with, give our time to, our love to, and share our bodies with. Cultivating meaningful relationships with people who care about you and want the best for you is an extension of the love you have for yourself.

Finding Your Community Is an Act of Self-Love

The ability to make our own choices is one of our biggest assets when it comes to self-love! We are free to choose who we associate with, give our time to, our love to, and share our bodies with. Cultivating meaningful relationships with people who care about you and want the best for you is an extension of the love you have for yourself.

Use the Spoon Theory to Explain Your Needs to Others

Chopra says that theSpoon Theoryreally comes in handy when she’s trying to explain her energy limitations to others. But first, what is the Spoon Theory?

Spoon Theory

Think of this theory like the battery on your phone. When your phone is charged to 100%, you can likely go the whole day without having to recharge (unless you’re endlessly scrolling TikTok). But let’s say you left the house and your phone was only at 45% battery—you’ll certainly need to plug in somewhere at some point during the day.

As an example, Chopra tells us that an able-bodied person may wake up with 10 spoons, aka full energy, but someone with a chronic condition may only wake up with six spoons of energy. Then, doing life stuff throughout the day costs us more energy. So, the person starting with just six spoons will burn out faster than someone starting off with 10 spoons.

So, keep the following in mind:

Coping With an Invisible Illness

Body Neutrality aka Loving What Your Body Can Do for You Can Boost Self-Esteem

The termbody neutralitygets thrown around a lot on social media but for good reason! Body neutrality is the act of appreciating what your body can do for you rather thanwhat it looks like(that’s body positivity).

Because our bodies are constantly changing, body neutrality ismore realistic and achievable than body positivity. Let’s face it: loving how you look 24/7 is a tall ask. But appreciating that you’re alive and having overall respect for the body you live in can help us boost our self-worth.

What This Means For YouLiving in our bodies can feel tough whether we have a chronic illness or not. Finding people who truly care for you and showing your body some much-deserved love can help you lead a more fulfilling life.If you’re struggling with the mental health effects of living with a chronic illness, reach out to amental health professional.

What This Means For You

Living in our bodies can feel tough whether we have a chronic illness or not. Finding people who truly care for you and showing your body some much-deserved love can help you lead a more fulfilling life.If you’re struggling with the mental health effects of living with a chronic illness, reach out to amental health professional.

Living in our bodies can feel tough whether we have a chronic illness or not. Finding people who truly care for you and showing your body some much-deserved love can help you lead a more fulfilling life.

If you’re struggling with the mental health effects of living with a chronic illness, reach out to amental health professional.

Ask a Therapist: How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?

16 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Airhihenbuwa CO, Tseng TS, Sutton VD, Price L.Global Perspectives on Improving Chronic Disease Prevention and Management in Diverse Settings.Prev Chronic Dis. 2021;18:E33. Published 2021 Apr 8. doi:10.5888/pcd18.210055National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.Myasthenia Gravis.Medline Plus.Living with a chronic illness—reaching out to others.Medline Plus.Arthritis.Arthritis Foundation.Arthritis and Mental Health.Caruso R, Breitbart W.Mental health care in oncology. Contemporary perspective on the psychosocial burden of cancer and evidence-based interventions.Epidemiol Psychiatr Sci. 2020;29:e86. Published 2020 Jan 9. doi:10.1017/S2045796019000866Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Diabetes and Mental Health.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About HIV.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.HIV Stigma and Discrimination.NIH.Skin Diseases.Yew YW, Kuan AHY, Ge L, Yap CW, Heng BH.Psychosocial impact of skin diseases: A population-based study.PLoS One. 2020;15(12):e0244765. Published 2020 Dec 31. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0244765Goodman ML, Molldrem S, Elliott A, Robertson D, Keiser P.Long COVID and mental health correlates: a new chronic condition fits existing patterns.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2023;11(1):2164498. Published 2023 Jan 8. doi:10.1080/21642850.2022.2164498Raghupathi W, Raghupathi V.An Empirical Study of Chronic Diseases in the United States: A Visual Analytics Approach.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(3):431. Published 2018 Mar 1. doi:10.3390/ijerph15030431Pellizzer ML, Wade TD.Developing a definition of body neutrality and strategies for an intervention.Body Image. 2023.Thomas K, Hjalmarsson C, Mullis R, Mant J.Conceptualising post-stroke fatigue: a cross-sectional survey of UK-based physiotherapists and occupational therapists.BMJ Open. 2019;9(12):e033066. Published 2019 Dec 10. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2019-033066National Eating Disorders Association.5 Steps to Body Neutrality.

16 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Airhihenbuwa CO, Tseng TS, Sutton VD, Price L.Global Perspectives on Improving Chronic Disease Prevention and Management in Diverse Settings.Prev Chronic Dis. 2021;18:E33. Published 2021 Apr 8. doi:10.5888/pcd18.210055National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.Myasthenia Gravis.Medline Plus.Living with a chronic illness—reaching out to others.Medline Plus.Arthritis.Arthritis Foundation.Arthritis and Mental Health.Caruso R, Breitbart W.Mental health care in oncology. Contemporary perspective on the psychosocial burden of cancer and evidence-based interventions.Epidemiol Psychiatr Sci. 2020;29:e86. Published 2020 Jan 9. doi:10.1017/S2045796019000866Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Diabetes and Mental Health.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About HIV.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.HIV Stigma and Discrimination.NIH.Skin Diseases.Yew YW, Kuan AHY, Ge L, Yap CW, Heng BH.Psychosocial impact of skin diseases: A population-based study.PLoS One. 2020;15(12):e0244765. Published 2020 Dec 31. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0244765Goodman ML, Molldrem S, Elliott A, Robertson D, Keiser P.Long COVID and mental health correlates: a new chronic condition fits existing patterns.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2023;11(1):2164498. Published 2023 Jan 8. doi:10.1080/21642850.2022.2164498Raghupathi W, Raghupathi V.An Empirical Study of Chronic Diseases in the United States: A Visual Analytics Approach.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(3):431. Published 2018 Mar 1. doi:10.3390/ijerph15030431Pellizzer ML, Wade TD.Developing a definition of body neutrality and strategies for an intervention.Body Image. 2023.Thomas K, Hjalmarsson C, Mullis R, Mant J.Conceptualising post-stroke fatigue: a cross-sectional survey of UK-based physiotherapists and occupational therapists.BMJ Open. 2019;9(12):e033066. Published 2019 Dec 10. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2019-033066National Eating Disorders Association.5 Steps to Body Neutrality.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Airhihenbuwa CO, Tseng TS, Sutton VD, Price L.Global Perspectives on Improving Chronic Disease Prevention and Management in Diverse Settings.Prev Chronic Dis. 2021;18:E33. Published 2021 Apr 8. doi:10.5888/pcd18.210055National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.Myasthenia Gravis.Medline Plus.Living with a chronic illness—reaching out to others.Medline Plus.Arthritis.Arthritis Foundation.Arthritis and Mental Health.Caruso R, Breitbart W.Mental health care in oncology. Contemporary perspective on the psychosocial burden of cancer and evidence-based interventions.Epidemiol Psychiatr Sci. 2020;29:e86. Published 2020 Jan 9. doi:10.1017/S2045796019000866Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Diabetes and Mental Health.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About HIV.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.HIV Stigma and Discrimination.NIH.Skin Diseases.Yew YW, Kuan AHY, Ge L, Yap CW, Heng BH.Psychosocial impact of skin diseases: A population-based study.PLoS One. 2020;15(12):e0244765. Published 2020 Dec 31. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0244765Goodman ML, Molldrem S, Elliott A, Robertson D, Keiser P.Long COVID and mental health correlates: a new chronic condition fits existing patterns.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2023;11(1):2164498. Published 2023 Jan 8. doi:10.1080/21642850.2022.2164498Raghupathi W, Raghupathi V.An Empirical Study of Chronic Diseases in the United States: A Visual Analytics Approach.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(3):431. Published 2018 Mar 1. doi:10.3390/ijerph15030431Pellizzer ML, Wade TD.Developing a definition of body neutrality and strategies for an intervention.Body Image. 2023.Thomas K, Hjalmarsson C, Mullis R, Mant J.Conceptualising post-stroke fatigue: a cross-sectional survey of UK-based physiotherapists and occupational therapists.BMJ Open. 2019;9(12):e033066. Published 2019 Dec 10. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2019-033066National Eating Disorders Association.5 Steps to Body Neutrality.

Airhihenbuwa CO, Tseng TS, Sutton VD, Price L.Global Perspectives on Improving Chronic Disease Prevention and Management in Diverse Settings.Prev Chronic Dis. 2021;18:E33. Published 2021 Apr 8. doi:10.5888/pcd18.210055

National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.Myasthenia Gravis.

Medline Plus.Living with a chronic illness—reaching out to others.

Medline Plus.Arthritis.

Arthritis Foundation.Arthritis and Mental Health.

Caruso R, Breitbart W.Mental health care in oncology. Contemporary perspective on the psychosocial burden of cancer and evidence-based interventions.Epidemiol Psychiatr Sci. 2020;29:e86. Published 2020 Jan 9. doi:10.1017/S2045796019000866

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Diabetes and Mental Health.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About HIV.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.HIV Stigma and Discrimination.

NIH.Skin Diseases.

Yew YW, Kuan AHY, Ge L, Yap CW, Heng BH.Psychosocial impact of skin diseases: A population-based study.PLoS One. 2020;15(12):e0244765. Published 2020 Dec 31. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0244765

Goodman ML, Molldrem S, Elliott A, Robertson D, Keiser P.Long COVID and mental health correlates: a new chronic condition fits existing patterns.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2023;11(1):2164498. Published 2023 Jan 8. doi:10.1080/21642850.2022.2164498

Raghupathi W, Raghupathi V.An Empirical Study of Chronic Diseases in the United States: A Visual Analytics Approach.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2018;15(3):431. Published 2018 Mar 1. doi:10.3390/ijerph15030431

Pellizzer ML, Wade TD.Developing a definition of body neutrality and strategies for an intervention.Body Image. 2023.

Thomas K, Hjalmarsson C, Mullis R, Mant J.Conceptualising post-stroke fatigue: a cross-sectional survey of UK-based physiotherapists and occupational therapists.BMJ Open. 2019;9(12):e033066. Published 2019 Dec 10. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2019-033066

National Eating Disorders Association.5 Steps to Body Neutrality.

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?