How to Be More Outgoing

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsStart With Small StepsUse Your Mutual ConnectionsStep Outside Your Comfort ZoneFocus on Other PeopleCreate a Mindfulness PracticeFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Start With Small Steps

Use Your Mutual Connections

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Focus on Other People

Create a Mindfulness Practice

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

If you tend to be reserved or quiet, socializing can be challenging. You might find conversing with a stranger, participating in a discussion with coworkers, or attending a party where you know only a few people uncomfortable. You don’t have to stay on the conversational sidelines, however. With a few tweaks to your style, you can becomemore outgoing, more relaxed in social situations, and more likely to have fun in the company of others.

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The Loneliest GenerationIn a 2022 survey, 40% of millennials said they felt lonely at least once a week. A 2023 survey was even more startling: Nearly half (49%) said they feel lonely always or sometimes.

The Loneliest Generation

In a 2022 survey, 40% of millennials said they felt lonely at least once a week. A 2023 survey was even more startling: Nearly half (49%) said they feel lonely always or sometimes.

Hanging with the people who make you feel comfortable and safe is easy, but never branching out can be detrimental in both social and professional environments. Challenging yourself to meet new people is a great way to practice and strengthen your social skills.

The Scientifically Proven Benefits of Friendliness and KindnessResearch abounds on the connections between being nice and being content. For example, researchers have found that friendliness and kindness cause a release of the “happy” neurotransmitters oxytocin and dopamine.

The Scientifically Proven Benefits of Friendliness and Kindness

Research abounds on the connections between being nice and being content. For example, researchers have found that friendliness and kindness cause a release of the “happy” neurotransmitters oxytocin and dopamine.

One of the easiest ways tobecome more outgoingis to ask your friends, colleagues, or classmates to introduce you to their friends. For example, if you walk into a room and your friend is talking to someone, make a point to say hello andintroduce yourself. The next time you see that person, you can greet them. You’ve already been introduced, so you’ve built a bridge to future communication.

Once you’ve made a connection, show interest in the person. Ask open-ended questions and actively listen as they take it from there. This is also a great trick if you’re unsure what to talk about or are uncomfortable with small talk.

Networking with colleagues helps you build professional connections and practice social skills. Or try an app that connects you with other people who share your interests, such as Meetup.

Doing something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable boosts your confidence and helps you become more outgoing. With each little victory, you’ll gain the confidence to step further and further outside your comfort zone.

Check out your city’s chamber of commerce, area universities, and local websites to learn about clubs and events available in your community. Activities geared toward finding friends include hiking clubs, pottery classes, gaming clubs, dance classes, cooking courses, and community yoga classes.

If you keep seeing signs for a club or class you’re interested in, go to one meeting to test the waters. Even if you find that it’s not right for you, there’s no harm in trying. You’ll gain new experiences, meet new people, and hone your social skills.

Participating in virtual activities can help you become comfortable hanging out with people.

How to Be More Interesting

When you’re not sure what to say or do, you might decide that being quiet or reserved is the safest choice. But being outgoing offers you the chance to try new things and meet new people.

14 Sure-fire Ways to Find and Make Friends as an Adult

Instead of concentrating on your anxiety or discomfort, focus on other people. As you converse with others, listen to what they have to say. Ask questions and try to remember details that will help you next time you talk with them.

Remember that everyone has their own insecurities. People are generally too occupied with other things to notice the mistakes, awkwardness, and anxieties of others. In fact, research has found that people tend to overestimate how much other people notice them, a phenomenon known as thespotlight effect.

Practicingmindfulnesscan help combat shyness and anxiety as you become more aware of the present moment without worrying about the past or future.

Anxieties are often rooted in worry about past events that can’t be changed or about future events. Mindfulness focuses instead on the present, taking attention away from such worries.

Meditation, expressive writing,positive affirmations,gratitude journaling, and other mindfulness-promoting activities have been shown to help reduce anxiety symptoms.

25 Positive Daily Affirmations for Your Mental Health

A Word From Verywell

If you’re feeling symptoms of social anxiety disorder (a more serious fear of social situations), talk to a healthcare provider. Effective treatments are available that can help youcope with feelings of social anxiety.

If you or a loved one are struggling with social anxiety disorder, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with social anxiety disorder, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Frequently Asked QuestionsMaking a list of good small talk topics can be helpful when you’re struggling to break the ice or keep the conversation flowing. Some great things to talk about include the weather, sports, family, food, work, and hobbies. Avoid controversial or potentially offensive subjects like politics, religion, and gossip.Learn More:The Best and Worst Small Talk TopicsIf social situations leave you feeling drained and in need of some time alone, then you are likely an introvert. If you tend to feel more energized after talking to others, then you are probably an extrovert. Introversion and extroversion represent a continuum, and many people tend to be somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.Learn More:Quiz: Are You an Extrovert or an Introvert?Being proactive and open to new people is the key to making friends as an adult. You need to seek out friendships and be willing to get to know new people and try new things. Joining clubs or organizations focused on finding friends can be a great strategy. There are also websites and apps that can help people find friends either online or in their local area. Being more outgoing and talking to people you meet in your day-to-day life can also be a great way to build new friendships.Learn More:How to Make Friends as an Adult

Making a list of good small talk topics can be helpful when you’re struggling to break the ice or keep the conversation flowing. Some great things to talk about include the weather, sports, family, food, work, and hobbies. Avoid controversial or potentially offensive subjects like politics, religion, and gossip.Learn More:The Best and Worst Small Talk Topics

Making a list of good small talk topics can be helpful when you’re struggling to break the ice or keep the conversation flowing. Some great things to talk about include the weather, sports, family, food, work, and hobbies. Avoid controversial or potentially offensive subjects like politics, religion, and gossip.

Learn More:The Best and Worst Small Talk Topics

If social situations leave you feeling drained and in need of some time alone, then you are likely an introvert. If you tend to feel more energized after talking to others, then you are probably an extrovert. Introversion and extroversion represent a continuum, and many people tend to be somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.Learn More:Quiz: Are You an Extrovert or an Introvert?

If social situations leave you feeling drained and in need of some time alone, then you are likely an introvert. If you tend to feel more energized after talking to others, then you are probably an extrovert. Introversion and extroversion represent a continuum, and many people tend to be somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.

Learn More:Quiz: Are You an Extrovert or an Introvert?

Being proactive and open to new people is the key to making friends as an adult. You need to seek out friendships and be willing to get to know new people and try new things. Joining clubs or organizations focused on finding friends can be a great strategy. There are also websites and apps that can help people find friends either online or in their local area. Being more outgoing and talking to people you meet in your day-to-day life can also be a great way to build new friendships.Learn More:How to Make Friends as an Adult

Being proactive and open to new people is the key to making friends as an adult. You need to seek out friendships and be willing to get to know new people and try new things. Joining clubs or organizations focused on finding friends can be a great strategy. There are also websites and apps that can help people find friends either online or in their local area. Being more outgoing and talking to people you meet in your day-to-day life can also be a great way to build new friendships.

Learn More:How to Make Friends as an Adult

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Aknin LB, Barrington-Leigh CP, Dunn EW, et al.Prosocial spending and well-being: Cross-cultural evidence for a psychological universal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2013;104(4):635-652. doi:10.1037/a0031578Gilovich T, Medvec VH, Savitsky K.The spotlight effect in social judgment: an egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;78(2):211-22. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.78.2.211Hoge EA, Bui E, Marques L, et al.Randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation for generalized anxiety disorder: Effects on anxiety and stress reactivity.J Clin Psychiatry. 2013;74(8):786–792. doi:10.4088/JCP.12m08083

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Aknin LB, Barrington-Leigh CP, Dunn EW, et al.Prosocial spending and well-being: Cross-cultural evidence for a psychological universal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2013;104(4):635-652. doi:10.1037/a0031578Gilovich T, Medvec VH, Savitsky K.The spotlight effect in social judgment: an egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;78(2):211-22. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.78.2.211Hoge EA, Bui E, Marques L, et al.Randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation for generalized anxiety disorder: Effects on anxiety and stress reactivity.J Clin Psychiatry. 2013;74(8):786–792. doi:10.4088/JCP.12m08083

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Aknin LB, Barrington-Leigh CP, Dunn EW, et al.Prosocial spending and well-being: Cross-cultural evidence for a psychological universal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2013;104(4):635-652. doi:10.1037/a0031578Gilovich T, Medvec VH, Savitsky K.The spotlight effect in social judgment: an egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;78(2):211-22. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.78.2.211Hoge EA, Bui E, Marques L, et al.Randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation for generalized anxiety disorder: Effects on anxiety and stress reactivity.J Clin Psychiatry. 2013;74(8):786–792. doi:10.4088/JCP.12m08083

Aknin LB, Barrington-Leigh CP, Dunn EW, et al.Prosocial spending and well-being: Cross-cultural evidence for a psychological universal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2013;104(4):635-652. doi:10.1037/a0031578

Gilovich T, Medvec VH, Savitsky K.The spotlight effect in social judgment: an egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;78(2):211-22. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.78.2.211

Hoge EA, Bui E, Marques L, et al.Randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation for generalized anxiety disorder: Effects on anxiety and stress reactivity.J Clin Psychiatry. 2013;74(8):786–792. doi:10.4088/JCP.12m08083

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