How to Be More Likeable

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow to Be More LikeableCharacteristicsBenefits

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Table of Contents

How to Be More Likeable

Characteristics

Benefits

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Likeable people tend to endear themselves to others andmake friendseasily. While this trait comes naturally to some people, there are steps you can take to improve your social skills and be more likable.

This article explores some of the characteristics of likeable people, the benefits of this trait, and some steps you can take to be more likeable.

Listed below are some ways to be more likeable, according toClarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist, relationship coach, and creator of ‘Your Happiness Hypothesis Method.’

Show People That You Like Them

Being affectionate with people and showing them that you like them is one of the best ways to get them to like you.

Clarissa SilvaIf you want to be more likeable, enter every conversation with the goal of making the other person feel liked and respected.

Clarissa Silva

If you want to be more likeable, enter every conversation with the goal of making the other person feel liked and respected.

However, this is not meant to be done in a manipulative way. If you genuinely like someone, make the effort to let them know that. But if you don’t like someone for whatever reason, you don’t need to pretend to do so.

Look for Common Ground

It can be helpful to look for sharedinterestsas an opportunity to relate to people and bond with them. You can find common ground with them in various areas, including hobbies, books, movies, music, sports, or travel.

Be a Good Listener

We often tend to be self-involved, to the extent that we may not notice others’ concerns and preferences. In conversation, rather thancutting offthe person you are talking to or rushing to add your point of view to the conversation, focus on what they’re sharing and use it as an opportunity to connect with them.

Clarissa SilvaYou will find that you can develop deeper relationships if you just take a moment to take notice and actively listen to people’s problems.

You will find that you can develop deeper relationships if you just take a moment to take notice and actively listen to people’s problems.

Keep an Open Mind

Be open to exploring where a person is coming from and strive to see their point of view. Keeping anopen mindand making an effort to understand others’ backgrounds and motivations can help you understand humanity better and grow as a person.

Avoid Passing Judgment

Starting from a positive and nonjudgmental space helps garner safety and likability among others. When you are judgmental, people hide their true selves around you because they feel they cannot confide in you.

Clarissa SilvaRemember that everyone is entitled to their own choices, opinions, and mistakes.

Remember that everyone is entitled to their own choices, opinions, and mistakes.

Make this your philosophy and as long as no one is getting hurt, try not to pass judgment on thevaluesor actions of another person.

Be Genuine

Don’t try to be something you’re not. If you don’t know something, ask about it or admit that you don’t know it.

Likeable people don’t come from a place ofinsecurity. They are secure in who they are and what they offer. They are not ashamed to ask for help if they need it.

Focus on Adding Value

Look to enrich conversations and people. Introspect on yourstrengthsand abilities, and think about how you can use them to add value to your family, friends, work, and community.

Don’t Be Competitive

If someone tells a story of their vacation, don’t try to top it with a story from your holiday. Celebrate their successes and commiserate with their sorrows rather than trying to compete with them.

Clarissa SilvaAvoid competing with others or trying to one-up them in a conversation. Instead, view conversations as an opportunity to be moreempathetic.

Avoid competing with others or trying to one-up them in a conversation. Instead, view conversations as an opportunity to be moreempathetic.

Stay True to Yourself

Likability doesn’t have to mean compromising your core beliefs and values for the sake of pleasing others. On the contrary, likability involves staying true to yourself during aconflictand honestly admitting that you disagree with the other person. However, it’s important to do so respectfully, without belittling, gaslighting, trolling, or demeaning anyone.

Try the Likable Person Test

This fast, free quiz can help give you insight into whether or not you possess traits that could make you more or less likable.

Why Can’t I Make Friends?

Characteristics of Likeable People

This is how likeable people compare to people who are unpleasant and not well-liked.

Likeable PeopleOpen-mindedFriendlyWarmHonestGenuineRespectfulKindEmpatheticUnpleasant PeopleJudgmentalStandoffishRudeArrogantCompetitiveAggressiveInconsiderateSelf-involved

Likeable PeopleOpen-mindedFriendlyWarmHonestGenuineRespectfulKindEmpathetic

Open-minded

Friendly

Warm

Honest

Genuine

Respectful

Kind

Empathetic

Unpleasant PeopleJudgmentalStandoffishRudeArrogantCompetitiveAggressiveInconsiderateSelf-involved

Judgmental

Standoffish

Rude

Arrogant

Competitive

Aggressive

Inconsiderate

Self-involved

Benefits of Being Likeable

These are some of the benefits of being likeable.

Better Relationships and Social Support

The primary benefit of likability is that it can help you build strong relationships, which in turn can help you create asocial support network, says Silva.

Research shows that social connectedness can boost your mental and physical health in many ways, including:

Increased Chances of Success

In addition to helping build supportive relationships, likability can also increase your chances ofsuccess. According to Harvard Business Review, employees tend to rate more likeable managers as more effective and successful.

How to Be Successful in Reaching Your Goals

A Word From Verywell

All of us wish to be more likeable. Luckily, there are steps you can take to foster this trait. Try to be more intentional andmindfulin your interactions with people. Being considerate and open-minded toward others often goes a long way.

Likability can help you make more friends, build a support system, and perhaps be more successful even.

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Wei C, Sun X, Liu J, Zhou C, Xue G.High power distance enhances employees' preference for likable managers: a resource dependency perspective.Front Psychol. 2017;7:2066. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02066Winchester Hospital.Increase your social support.Li F, Luo S, Mu W, et al.Effects of sources of social support and resilience on the mental health of different age groups during the COVID-19 pandemic.BMC Psychiatry. 2021;21(1):16. doi:10.1186/s12888-020-03012-1Harandi TF, Taghinasab MM, Nayeri TD.The correlation of social support with mental health: a meta-analysis.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5212-5222. doi:10.19082/5212Hostinar CE, Gunnar MR.Social support can buffer against stress and shape brain activity.AJOB Neurosci. 2015;6(3):34-42. doi:10.1080/21507740.2015.1047054Yoo J, Miyamoto Y, Ryff CD.Positive affect, social connectedness, and healthy biomarkers in Japan and the U.S.Emotion. 2016;16(8):1137-1146. doi:10.1037/emo0000200Vila J.Social support and longevity: meta-analysis-based evidence and psychobiological mechanisms.Front Psychol. 2021;12:717164. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.717164Harvard Business Review.Why likable leaders seem more effective.

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Wei C, Sun X, Liu J, Zhou C, Xue G.High power distance enhances employees' preference for likable managers: a resource dependency perspective.Front Psychol. 2017;7:2066. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02066Winchester Hospital.Increase your social support.Li F, Luo S, Mu W, et al.Effects of sources of social support and resilience on the mental health of different age groups during the COVID-19 pandemic.BMC Psychiatry. 2021;21(1):16. doi:10.1186/s12888-020-03012-1Harandi TF, Taghinasab MM, Nayeri TD.The correlation of social support with mental health: a meta-analysis.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5212-5222. doi:10.19082/5212Hostinar CE, Gunnar MR.Social support can buffer against stress and shape brain activity.AJOB Neurosci. 2015;6(3):34-42. doi:10.1080/21507740.2015.1047054Yoo J, Miyamoto Y, Ryff CD.Positive affect, social connectedness, and healthy biomarkers in Japan and the U.S.Emotion. 2016;16(8):1137-1146. doi:10.1037/emo0000200Vila J.Social support and longevity: meta-analysis-based evidence and psychobiological mechanisms.Front Psychol. 2021;12:717164. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.717164Harvard Business Review.Why likable leaders seem more effective.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Wei C, Sun X, Liu J, Zhou C, Xue G.High power distance enhances employees' preference for likable managers: a resource dependency perspective.Front Psychol. 2017;7:2066. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02066Winchester Hospital.Increase your social support.Li F, Luo S, Mu W, et al.Effects of sources of social support and resilience on the mental health of different age groups during the COVID-19 pandemic.BMC Psychiatry. 2021;21(1):16. doi:10.1186/s12888-020-03012-1Harandi TF, Taghinasab MM, Nayeri TD.The correlation of social support with mental health: a meta-analysis.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5212-5222. doi:10.19082/5212Hostinar CE, Gunnar MR.Social support can buffer against stress and shape brain activity.AJOB Neurosci. 2015;6(3):34-42. doi:10.1080/21507740.2015.1047054Yoo J, Miyamoto Y, Ryff CD.Positive affect, social connectedness, and healthy biomarkers in Japan and the U.S.Emotion. 2016;16(8):1137-1146. doi:10.1037/emo0000200Vila J.Social support and longevity: meta-analysis-based evidence and psychobiological mechanisms.Front Psychol. 2021;12:717164. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.717164Harvard Business Review.Why likable leaders seem more effective.

Wei C, Sun X, Liu J, Zhou C, Xue G.High power distance enhances employees' preference for likable managers: a resource dependency perspective.Front Psychol. 2017;7:2066. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02066

Winchester Hospital.Increase your social support.

Li F, Luo S, Mu W, et al.Effects of sources of social support and resilience on the mental health of different age groups during the COVID-19 pandemic.BMC Psychiatry. 2021;21(1):16. doi:10.1186/s12888-020-03012-1

Harandi TF, Taghinasab MM, Nayeri TD.The correlation of social support with mental health: a meta-analysis.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5212-5222. doi:10.19082/5212

Hostinar CE, Gunnar MR.Social support can buffer against stress and shape brain activity.AJOB Neurosci. 2015;6(3):34-42. doi:10.1080/21507740.2015.1047054

Yoo J, Miyamoto Y, Ryff CD.Positive affect, social connectedness, and healthy biomarkers in Japan and the U.S.Emotion. 2016;16(8):1137-1146. doi:10.1037/emo0000200

Vila J.Social support and longevity: meta-analysis-based evidence and psychobiological mechanisms.Front Psychol. 2021;12:717164. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.717164

Harvard Business Review.Why likable leaders seem more effective.

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