Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow to Be More EmpatheticCharacteristicsBenefitsPitfalls of Lacking EmpathyCan You Be Too Empathetic?FAQ

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Table of Contents

How to Be More Empathetic

Characteristics

Benefits

Pitfalls of Lacking Empathy

Can You Be Too Empathetic?

FAQ

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Empathyinvolves the ability to sense, understand, and share the feelings andemotionsof others from their perspective.It is, essentially, being able to place yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they must be feeling in that situation.

Empathy is a crucial human skill that can positively impact our relationships, well-being, and ability to connect with others.By taking the time to develop your empathy, you can make a difference in your life and the lives of others.

Learn how to be more empathetic and how your capacity to understand others' feelings can improve your relationships and well-being.

Some people tend to be more naturally able to place themselves in someone else’s position,but it is also an ability that you can develop and strengthen. There are many strategies that you can utilize to develop a strong sense of empathy for other people.

Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues

When talking to someone, take note of theirbody languageand anynonverbal cuesthey may be giving off. This can give you essential clues about how they are feeling and what they might be thinking.

Understand Where They Are Coming From

Before truly empathizing with someone, you need to understand where they are coming from. This means taking the time to see things from their perspective and trying to understand their motivations and feelings.

Consider how you would feel in their situation. How would you feel? How might you react? What kind of support might you need? Such questions can give you greater insight into what other people are experiencing and help you feel greater empathy.

Practice Active Listening

Active listeninginvolves fully focusing on what the other person is saying verbally and nonverbally. When actively listening, you should be trying to understand what the person is saying and how they feel, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

Express Understanding

Once you understand how the other person feels, it is essential to express empathy appropriately. This means showing that you understand and share the other person’s feelings.

This doesn’t mean comparing their situation to someone else’s or describing your own past experiences. While it might feel like you are helping them feel less alone, it often has the effect of minimizing or dismissing what they are experiencing.

Avoid Making Assumptions

One of the most important things to remember when trying to be empathetic is to avoid assumptions about the other person’s thoughts or feelings. Instead, try to see things from their perspective and ask them questions if you are unsure.

Be Aware of Your Own Biases

When trying to be empathetic towards others, be aware of your own biases and preconceptions. Everyone has unique experiences and perspectives shaping how we see the world and its people. Think about how your own biases might affect how you view someone else’s situation and then try to set those feelings aside to see or feel things from their perspective.

Practice Your Empathy Skills Regularly

Research suggests that people can learn to be empathetic but that maintaining these skills may require additional support and practice.One of the best ways to develop your empathetic skills is to seek opportunities to practice.

For example, you might volunteer for a cause you care about, talk to people from different walks of life, or pay more attention to your emotions and those of others around you.

Characteristics of Empathetic People

People who possess a great deal of empathy often share several pivotal characteristics.

Empathetic PeopleEmotionally intelligentGood at reading peopleCompassionateGood communicatorsSensitiveStrong intuitionWarm-heartedNon-Empathetic PeopleLow emotional intelligenceStruggle to understand othersHeartlessPoor communicatorsInsensitivePoor intuitionCold-hearted

Empathetic PeopleEmotionally intelligentGood at reading peopleCompassionateGood communicatorsSensitiveStrong intuitionWarm-hearted

Emotionally intelligent

Good at reading people

Compassionate

Good communicators

Sensitive

Strong intuition

Warm-hearted

Non-Empathetic PeopleLow emotional intelligenceStruggle to understand othersHeartlessPoor communicatorsInsensitivePoor intuitionCold-hearted

Low emotional intelligence

Struggle to understand others

Heartless

Poor communicators

Insensitive

Poor intuition

Cold-hearted

Benefits of Being Empathetic

Being empathetic can have many benefits, including helping you feel closer and more connected to the people around you.

Some other benefits of being empathetic include:

Potential Pitfalls of Being Less Empathetic

Lacking empathy can also have a number of serious consequences in your life:

What to Do If You or a Loved One Lack Empathy

While empathy is generally considered a positive trait,it is possible to be too empathetic. Overly empathetic people may struggle to draw boundaries in their relationships. They may also have difficulty settingboundariesfor themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions

There can be many causes for a lack of empathy. Empathy is thought to be primarily learned through our parents or primary caregivers. If our parents were not empathetic, we might struggle to learn and understand empathy ourselves. Additionally, some mental health disorders or psychological conditions may lead to a lack of empathy. For example, people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) lack emotional empathy.

Empathy and sympathy are often confused.Empathy involves being able to understand the feelings of another. So, when you are empathetic, you can understand and share another person’s emotions.Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone else. When you are sympathetic, you may feel bad for the person, but you do not necessarily share in their emotions.

Empathy and sympathy are often confused.

Additionally, consider your relationships. Do you find it challenging to connect with others? Do you often feel alone or misunderstood?

If you answered yes to these questions, you might lack empathy. However, it is important to remember that everyone experiences empathy differently. Some people may be more empathetic than others.

Empathy also varies depending on the situation or even the person involved. So, just because you have difficulty empathizing in one situation does not mean you lack empathy altogether.

If you are concerned that you lack empathy, it may be helpful to talk to a counselor or therapist. They can help you better understand your responses and help you learn how to connect with others.

A Word From Verywell

What Is Emotional Labor?

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Riess H.The science of empathy.J Patient Exp. 2017;4(2):74-77. doi:10.1177/2374373517699267Verhofstadt L, Devoldre I, Buysse A, Stevens M, Hinnekens C, Ickes W, Davis M.The role of cognitive and affective empathy in spouses' support interactions: An observational study.PLoS One. 2016 Feb 24;11(2):e0149944. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0149944Baird AD, Scheffer IE, Wilson SJ.Mirror neuron system involvement in empathy: A critical look at the evidence.Soc Neurosci. 2011;6(4):327-35. doi:10.1080/17470919.2010.547085Kataoka H, Iwase T, Ogawa H, et al.Can communication skills training improve empathy? A six-year longitudinal study of medical students in Japan.Medical Teacher. 2019;41(2):195-200. doi:10.1080/0142159X.2018.1460657Reblin M, Uchino BN.Social and emotional support and its implication for health.Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201‐205. doi:10.1097/YCO.0b013e3282f3ad89Hajek A, König HH.Level and correlates of empathy and altruism during the Covid-19 pandemic: Evidence from a representative survey in Germany.PLoS One.2022 Mar 16;17(3):e0265544. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0265544Morrison AS, Mateen MA, Brozovich FA, Zaki J, Goldin PR, Heimberg RG, Gross JJ.Empathy for positive and negative emotions in social anxiety disorder.Behav Res Ther. 2016;87:232-242. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2016.10.005Ritter K, Dziobek I, Preissler S, et al.Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder.Psychiatry Res. 2011;187(1-2):241-247. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2010.09.013

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Riess H.The science of empathy.J Patient Exp. 2017;4(2):74-77. doi:10.1177/2374373517699267Verhofstadt L, Devoldre I, Buysse A, Stevens M, Hinnekens C, Ickes W, Davis M.The role of cognitive and affective empathy in spouses' support interactions: An observational study.PLoS One. 2016 Feb 24;11(2):e0149944. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0149944Baird AD, Scheffer IE, Wilson SJ.Mirror neuron system involvement in empathy: A critical look at the evidence.Soc Neurosci. 2011;6(4):327-35. doi:10.1080/17470919.2010.547085Kataoka H, Iwase T, Ogawa H, et al.Can communication skills training improve empathy? A six-year longitudinal study of medical students in Japan.Medical Teacher. 2019;41(2):195-200. doi:10.1080/0142159X.2018.1460657Reblin M, Uchino BN.Social and emotional support and its implication for health.Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201‐205. doi:10.1097/YCO.0b013e3282f3ad89Hajek A, König HH.Level and correlates of empathy and altruism during the Covid-19 pandemic: Evidence from a representative survey in Germany.PLoS One.2022 Mar 16;17(3):e0265544. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0265544Morrison AS, Mateen MA, Brozovich FA, Zaki J, Goldin PR, Heimberg RG, Gross JJ.Empathy for positive and negative emotions in social anxiety disorder.Behav Res Ther. 2016;87:232-242. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2016.10.005Ritter K, Dziobek I, Preissler S, et al.Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder.Psychiatry Res. 2011;187(1-2):241-247. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2010.09.013

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Riess H.The science of empathy.J Patient Exp. 2017;4(2):74-77. doi:10.1177/2374373517699267Verhofstadt L, Devoldre I, Buysse A, Stevens M, Hinnekens C, Ickes W, Davis M.The role of cognitive and affective empathy in spouses' support interactions: An observational study.PLoS One. 2016 Feb 24;11(2):e0149944. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0149944Baird AD, Scheffer IE, Wilson SJ.Mirror neuron system involvement in empathy: A critical look at the evidence.Soc Neurosci. 2011;6(4):327-35. doi:10.1080/17470919.2010.547085Kataoka H, Iwase T, Ogawa H, et al.Can communication skills training improve empathy? A six-year longitudinal study of medical students in Japan.Medical Teacher. 2019;41(2):195-200. doi:10.1080/0142159X.2018.1460657Reblin M, Uchino BN.Social and emotional support and its implication for health.Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201‐205. doi:10.1097/YCO.0b013e3282f3ad89Hajek A, König HH.Level and correlates of empathy and altruism during the Covid-19 pandemic: Evidence from a representative survey in Germany.PLoS One.2022 Mar 16;17(3):e0265544. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0265544Morrison AS, Mateen MA, Brozovich FA, Zaki J, Goldin PR, Heimberg RG, Gross JJ.Empathy for positive and negative emotions in social anxiety disorder.Behav Res Ther. 2016;87:232-242. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2016.10.005Ritter K, Dziobek I, Preissler S, et al.Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder.Psychiatry Res. 2011;187(1-2):241-247. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2010.09.013

Riess H.The science of empathy.J Patient Exp. 2017;4(2):74-77. doi:10.1177/2374373517699267

Verhofstadt L, Devoldre I, Buysse A, Stevens M, Hinnekens C, Ickes W, Davis M.The role of cognitive and affective empathy in spouses' support interactions: An observational study.PLoS One. 2016 Feb 24;11(2):e0149944. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0149944

Baird AD, Scheffer IE, Wilson SJ.Mirror neuron system involvement in empathy: A critical look at the evidence.Soc Neurosci. 2011;6(4):327-35. doi:10.1080/17470919.2010.547085

Kataoka H, Iwase T, Ogawa H, et al.Can communication skills training improve empathy? A six-year longitudinal study of medical students in Japan.Medical Teacher. 2019;41(2):195-200. doi:10.1080/0142159X.2018.1460657

Reblin M, Uchino BN.Social and emotional support and its implication for health.Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201‐205. doi:10.1097/YCO.0b013e3282f3ad89

Hajek A, König HH.Level and correlates of empathy and altruism during the Covid-19 pandemic: Evidence from a representative survey in Germany.PLoS One.2022 Mar 16;17(3):e0265544. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0265544

Morrison AS, Mateen MA, Brozovich FA, Zaki J, Goldin PR, Heimberg RG, Gross JJ.Empathy for positive and negative emotions in social anxiety disorder.Behav Res Ther. 2016;87:232-242. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2016.10.005

Ritter K, Dziobek I, Preissler S, et al.Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder.Psychiatry Res. 2011;187(1-2):241-247. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2010.09.013

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