Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsCharacteristics of InsecurityPotential CausesEffectsHow to Be Less Insecure

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Characteristics of Insecurity

Potential Causes

Effects

How to Be Less Insecure

Close

Being insecure means feeling like you’re inadequate or not good enough.

Insecurities arenegative thoughtsthat can cause you to doubt yourself. They can arise in different areas, such as your relationships, your work, your body image, or your ability to navigate social situations, saysSabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

According to the American Psychological Association, insecurities can make it difficult for you to trust others, have healthy relationships, be confident of your abilities, and reach for your goals.It can be hard to be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin if you’re constantly feeling nervous, anxious, or hesitant.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyDInsecurity is a difficult feeling to live with because it can cause you to feel unsure of yourself and constantly question your worth.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

Insecurity is a difficult feeling to live with because it can cause you to feel unsure of yourself and constantly question your worth.

This article discusses some potential causes of insecurity, as well as some strategies that can help you be more confident and feel less insecure.

These are some characteristics of insecure people as compared to people who are more secure, according to Dr. Romanoff.

Insecure PeopleFeeling inadequateConstantly doubting yourself-worthBeing unsure of yourselfQuestioning your relationshipsFearing that people will abandon youFeeling out of place in social settingsObsessing over your shortcomingsBeing overly sensitive to criticismNot trusting yourself to handle difficult situationsNot being willing to take any personal or professional risksSecure PeopleFeeling confidentHaving a healthy sense ofself-esteemTrusting your instinctsBeing secure in relationshipsNot depending on others’ approvalBeing comfortable in social settingsAccepting yourself and your bodyBeing open to constructive feedbackHaving faith in your ability to handle challengesNot being afraid to reach for what you want

Insecure PeopleFeeling inadequateConstantly doubting yourself-worthBeing unsure of yourselfQuestioning your relationshipsFearing that people will abandon youFeeling out of place in social settingsObsessing over your shortcomingsBeing overly sensitive to criticismNot trusting yourself to handle difficult situationsNot being willing to take any personal or professional risks

Feeling inadequate

Constantly doubting yourself-worth

Being unsure of yourself

Questioning your relationships

Fearing that people will abandon you

Feeling out of place in social settings

Obsessing over your shortcomings

Being overly sensitive to criticism

Not trusting yourself to handle difficult situations

Not being willing to take any personal or professional risks

Secure PeopleFeeling confidentHaving a healthy sense ofself-esteemTrusting your instinctsBeing secure in relationshipsNot depending on others’ approvalBeing comfortable in social settingsAccepting yourself and your bodyBeing open to constructive feedbackHaving faith in your ability to handle challengesNot being afraid to reach for what you want

Feeling confident

Having a healthy sense ofself-esteem

Trusting your instincts

Being secure in relationships

Not depending on others’ approval

Being comfortable in social settings

Accepting yourself and your body

Being open to constructive feedback

Having faith in your ability to handle challenges

Not being afraid to reach for what you want

Coping With an Insecure Attachment Style

Potential Causes of Insecurity

These are some potential causes of insecurity, according to Dr. Romanoff:

How Does Social Media Play a Role in Depression?

Effects of Being Insecure

Below, Dr. Romanoff unpacks how insecurity can have a negative impact on a number of different areas in your life.

Relationship Difficulties

Being insecure can cause you to doubt your relationships and question where you stand with others. You may assume others don’t want to be around you or fear that they might abandon you.

These fears can be self-fulfilling prophecies because they can cause you to behave in ways that push others away, ultimately leading to failed social and romanticrelationships. For example, doubting your partner, checking up on them, or constantly thinking they’re being unfaithful to you can lead to fights and cause the two of you to break up.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Being insecure can make you more indecisive and less likely to take risks when it comes to your professional life. This can cause you to play it safe and hold you back from pursuing opportunities you want.

Your insecurities can also make you more sensitive to criticism, which can make it hard for you to accept constructive feedback. This can lead to career-related difficulties, because you may be more likely to dwell on your shortcomings than channel your energy into improving.

Furthermore, a lack ofconfidencecan work against you. Being confident in the workplace is important because people accept what you project. If you believe you are competent, smart, and capable, others are much more likely to believe you. Projecting confidence makes you more likely to appear credible, make strong first impressions, and deal with challenges successfully.

Mental Health Issues

Research shows us that having an insecure personality is linked to various mental health issues, such as:

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Feeling Jealous in a Relationship is The Worst Here’s How to Cope

Dr. Romanoff suggests some ways to be more confident and less insecure:

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Insecurity can be a terrible feeling because it can make you doubt yourself, your abilities, your relationships, and your goals. It can prevent you from pursuing things you want and cause you to act in ways you don’t necessarily want to. It’s important to work on your insecurities so you can start living the life you want.

Why It’s Important to Have High Self-Esteem

7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Insecurity.Pietromonaco PR, Powers SI.Attachment and health-related physiological stress processes.Curr Opin Psychol. 2015;1:34-39. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.12.001Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: a three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727Mikulincer M, Shaver PR.An attachment perspective on psychopathology.World Psychiatry. 2012;11(1):11-15. doi:10.1016/j.wpsyc.2012.01.003Liese BS, Kim HS, Hodgins DC.Insecure attachment and addiction: Testing the mediating role of emotion dysregulation in four potentially addictive behaviors.Addict Behav. 2020;107:106432. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2020.106432Kim HM, Miller LC.Are insecure attachment styles related to risky sexual behavior? A meta-analysis.Health Psychol. 2020;39(1):46-57. doi:10.1037/hea0000821Danet M, Secouet D.Insecure attachment as a factor in hoarding behaviors in a non-clinical sample of women.Psychiatry Res. 2018;270:286-292. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2018.09.053

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Insecurity.Pietromonaco PR, Powers SI.Attachment and health-related physiological stress processes.Curr Opin Psychol. 2015;1:34-39. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.12.001Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: a three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727Mikulincer M, Shaver PR.An attachment perspective on psychopathology.World Psychiatry. 2012;11(1):11-15. doi:10.1016/j.wpsyc.2012.01.003Liese BS, Kim HS, Hodgins DC.Insecure attachment and addiction: Testing the mediating role of emotion dysregulation in four potentially addictive behaviors.Addict Behav. 2020;107:106432. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2020.106432Kim HM, Miller LC.Are insecure attachment styles related to risky sexual behavior? A meta-analysis.Health Psychol. 2020;39(1):46-57. doi:10.1037/hea0000821Danet M, Secouet D.Insecure attachment as a factor in hoarding behaviors in a non-clinical sample of women.Psychiatry Res. 2018;270:286-292. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2018.09.053

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

American Psychological Association.Insecurity.Pietromonaco PR, Powers SI.Attachment and health-related physiological stress processes.Curr Opin Psychol. 2015;1:34-39. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.12.001Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: a three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727Mikulincer M, Shaver PR.An attachment perspective on psychopathology.World Psychiatry. 2012;11(1):11-15. doi:10.1016/j.wpsyc.2012.01.003Liese BS, Kim HS, Hodgins DC.Insecure attachment and addiction: Testing the mediating role of emotion dysregulation in four potentially addictive behaviors.Addict Behav. 2020;107:106432. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2020.106432Kim HM, Miller LC.Are insecure attachment styles related to risky sexual behavior? A meta-analysis.Health Psychol. 2020;39(1):46-57. doi:10.1037/hea0000821Danet M, Secouet D.Insecure attachment as a factor in hoarding behaviors in a non-clinical sample of women.Psychiatry Res. 2018;270:286-292. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2018.09.053

American Psychological Association.Insecurity.

Pietromonaco PR, Powers SI.Attachment and health-related physiological stress processes.Curr Opin Psychol. 2015;1:34-39. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.12.001

Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: a three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727

Mikulincer M, Shaver PR.An attachment perspective on psychopathology.World Psychiatry. 2012;11(1):11-15. doi:10.1016/j.wpsyc.2012.01.003

Liese BS, Kim HS, Hodgins DC.Insecure attachment and addiction: Testing the mediating role of emotion dysregulation in four potentially addictive behaviors.Addict Behav. 2020;107:106432. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2020.106432

Kim HM, Miller LC.Are insecure attachment styles related to risky sexual behavior? A meta-analysis.Health Psychol. 2020;39(1):46-57. doi:10.1037/hea0000821

Danet M, Secouet D.Insecure attachment as a factor in hoarding behaviors in a non-clinical sample of women.Psychiatry Res. 2018;270:286-292. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2018.09.053

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?