How to Avoid Falling Into a Narcissistic Relationship Pattern

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSignsImpactAvoiding This Relationship Pattern

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs

Impact

Avoiding This Relationship Pattern

Do you repeatedly find yourself in relationships where you give a lot more than you take? Do you find that the focus is always on your partner and your needs remain unmet? Do you sometimes feel like a mere object in the relationship? This may be the case if you gravitate toward relationships with people who have narcissistic tendencies.

This article explores thesigns of narcissistic relationships, the toll they can take, as well as some steps you can take to break out of this pattern.

Can a Narcissist Love?

Signs of Narcissistic Relationships

These are some signs that you’re dating a person with narcissistic tendencies,saysSabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University in New York City:

Relationships with people who havenarcissistic tendenciesoften start off in an intense manner and move at a fast pace. Your partner will seem like a very special person and make you feel like you’re one-of-a-kind.

However, soon enough, they will start to pick on your faults, compare you to others, and find you lacking. You may find yourself working hard to gain their approval. If you try to pull away, they may react with extreme hurt orrage, and the cycle of appreciating you, and then criticizing you, starts all over again.

Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

Impact of a Narcissistic Relationship

Below, Dr. Romanoff unpacks the mental health impact of being in a relationship with someone who hasnarcissistic tendencies.

Impact on Your Mental Health

Your partner’s proclivities may come at your expense and you may find yourself repeatedly sacrificing your own perception of reality and the fulfillment of your needs to secure the relationship and maintain theattachment.

Your partner may gaslight you, which means they use strategies like lying, withholding information, or verbally abusing you. They might say things like “You’re crazy” or “You’re too sensitive” to minimize your thoughts and feelings.

Someone who gaslights you wants to take control of the situation or relationship and leave you feeling powerless. There are many negative mental health effects of being gaslit such as feelings of hatred or rage, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyDDating someone with narcissistic personality disorder will often have you questioning your reality, feelings, and behaviors.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

Dating someone with narcissistic personality disorder will often have you questioning your reality, feelings, and behaviors.

Impact on Your Partner

This may result in the offended person with narcissistic tendencies reacting with an outburst of extreme anger, defensiveness, or the silent treatment in response to perceived criticism or judgment.

Feeling Led On? You Might Be A Victim of Breadcrumbing

How to Avoid a Narcissistic Relationship Pattern

Dr. Romanoff suggests some steps you can take if you’re in anarcissistic relationship, as well as some strategies that can help prevent you from falling into the same pattern again:

The 5 Things You Need to Do If You’re Dealing With a Narcissist

A Word From Verywell

If you often find yourself in relationships with people who have narcissistic personality disorder, once the initial rush of excitement wears off, reality can feel distorted and it can be hard to recognize your own needs and feelings.

It’s important to identify the pattern and change it. Recognizing unresolved issues from your past can be a helpful starting point, in addition to identifying your needs and prioritizing them in any relationship you’re in.

How to Find a Narcissistic Abuse Support Group

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fifth edition, text revision. 2022.Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156-164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875Dashineau SC, Edershile EA, Simms LJ, Wright AGC.Pathological narcissism and psychosocial functioning.Personal Disord. 2019;10(5):473-478. doi:10.1037/per0000347Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.American Sociological Review.2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fifth edition, text revision. 2022.Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156-164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875Dashineau SC, Edershile EA, Simms LJ, Wright AGC.Pathological narcissism and psychosocial functioning.Personal Disord. 2019;10(5):473-478. doi:10.1037/per0000347Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.American Sociological Review.2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fifth edition, text revision. 2022.Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156-164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875Dashineau SC, Edershile EA, Simms LJ, Wright AGC.Pathological narcissism and psychosocial functioning.Personal Disord. 2019;10(5):473-478. doi:10.1037/per0000347Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.American Sociological Review.2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843

American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fifth edition, text revision. 2022.

Kacel EL, Ennis N, Pereira DB.Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.Behav Med. 2017;43(3):156-164. doi:10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875

Dashineau SC, Edershile EA, Simms LJ, Wright AGC.Pathological narcissism and psychosocial functioning.Personal Disord. 2019;10(5):473-478. doi:10.1037/per0000347

Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.American Sociological Review.2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?