How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsThe 4 Types of FriendsFriendships Ebb and FlowSigns of a Good FriendSigns of a Bad FriendHow to Know Someone Is No Longer a Good Friend

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

The 4 Types of Friends

Friendships Ebb and Flow

Signs of a Good Friend

Signs of a Bad Friend

How to Know Someone Is No Longer a Good Friend

Close

We know thatfriendshipis important to our health and happiness.In fact, research shows us that friends are as important to our well-being as family.However, friendship can span a ton of different types of relationships.

There are the friends we only meet at parties, and there are our ride-or-die BFFs. There are the friends we’ve grown up with, who know our lives inside out, and there are work friends whom we eat lunch with every day. There are friends we hang out with once in a while, and friends whom we can’t go a day without talking to.

All of these different types of friends play different roles in our lives. Whatever types of friends you have, it’s important to know the signs of a good friend versus a bad friend, and how to know if someone isn’t a good friend anymore.

At a GlanceAcquaintances are people we know but haven’treallyspent time with. Casual friends are the friends we hang out with at work or pottery class, for company and camaraderie. Close friends are our besties that we share everything with. Lifelong friends, or childhood friends, are practically family.All of these different types of friends contribute to the social fabric of our lives, offering support, comfort, advice, companionship, a sense of belonging, some laughs, and a whole lot of memories.

At a Glance

Acquaintances are people we know but haven’treallyspent time with. Casual friends are the friends we hang out with at work or pottery class, for company and camaraderie. Close friends are our besties that we share everything with. Lifelong friends, or childhood friends, are practically family.All of these different types of friends contribute to the social fabric of our lives, offering support, comfort, advice, companionship, a sense of belonging, some laughs, and a whole lot of memories.

Acquaintances are people we know but haven’treallyspent time with. Casual friends are the friends we hang out with at work or pottery class, for company and camaraderie. Close friends are our besties that we share everything with. Lifelong friends, or childhood friends, are practically family.

All of these different types of friends contribute to the social fabric of our lives, offering support, comfort, advice, companionship, a sense of belonging, some laughs, and a whole lot of memories.

Verywell Mind tappedBritt Melewski, LMSW, a practitioner at The Dorm, to unpack the four different types of friendships and how they fit into our lives.

Acquaintances

Acquaintances are friends we’ve met a few times, either at parties or through mutual friends. We kinda sorta know their names and a little bit about their lives; however, we probably haven’t had anydeep heart-to-heart conversationswith them or spent much time with them one-on-one.

Acquaintances are people whom we have surface-level interactions with, without any significant emotional involvement in the relationship, Melewski explains.

Acquaintances can offer:

Casual Friends

Casualor social friends are people we might befriend at the office, gym, or book club, for instance.

We might interact with these friends fairly regularly because of the shared environment or activity. As we get to know each other, we might start to chill with them before, during, or after the activity.

Casual friends might offer:

Close Friends

Close friends are our besties, the people in our inner circle. These are the friends that we bond with instantly, talk to often, share our struggles with, and confide our deepest darkest fears to. These are often the friends that our values most closely align with, Melewski explains.

Close friends offer:

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Lifelong Friends

Lifelong friends are the people we’ve been friends with since childhood. These are often the friends you can be your most authentic self with, says Melewski.

Lifelong friends offer:

These categories aren’t necessarily permanent, fixed, or as clear-cut as we might want them to be—and that’s OK, says Melewski.

For instance, he explains that an acquaintance can become a close friend or a work colleague who starts off as a casual friend can become a best friend with time. “On the other hand, knowing someone from childhood doesn’t always guarantee an intimate connection.Childhood friendsneed more than history; they require mutual support and effort.”

He adds that relationships, friendships included, are destined to naturally ebb and flow, aligning with one’s personal growth. “For example, how we are able to show up in a friendship when we are in high school or in our college years may look different than when we are in the throes of new parenthood or a demanding career.”

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If you’re trying to determine whether someone is a good friend, Melewski recommends asking yourself the following questions:

If your responses to these questions are predominantly “yes”, chances are that you have a good friend in this person, says Melewski.

On the other hand, these signs could indicate that someone is not necessarily a good friend:

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Sometimes, we refer to people as our friends because we have a shared history with them, even if the dynamic has changed over time.

There are many factors that go into whether or not someone is still a good friend but most of it drills down to how you feel in the relationship over time, says Melewski. He recommends asking yourself:

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” it may be worth reevaluating the friendship and discussing your concerns with your friend.

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3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Dunbar RIM.The anatomy of friendship.Trends Cogn Sci. 2018;22(1):32-51. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2017.10.004Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG.Friendship in later life: a research agenda.Innov Aging. 2019;3(1):igz005. doi:10.1093/geroni/igz005Kitts JA, Leal DF.What is(n’t) a friend? Dimensions of the friendship concept among adolescents.Soc Networks. 2021;66:161-170. doi:10.1016/j.socnet.2021.01.004

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Dunbar RIM.The anatomy of friendship.Trends Cogn Sci. 2018;22(1):32-51. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2017.10.004Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG.Friendship in later life: a research agenda.Innov Aging. 2019;3(1):igz005. doi:10.1093/geroni/igz005Kitts JA, Leal DF.What is(n’t) a friend? Dimensions of the friendship concept among adolescents.Soc Networks. 2021;66:161-170. doi:10.1016/j.socnet.2021.01.004

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Dunbar RIM.The anatomy of friendship.Trends Cogn Sci. 2018;22(1):32-51. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2017.10.004Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG.Friendship in later life: a research agenda.Innov Aging. 2019;3(1):igz005. doi:10.1093/geroni/igz005Kitts JA, Leal DF.What is(n’t) a friend? Dimensions of the friendship concept among adolescents.Soc Networks. 2021;66:161-170. doi:10.1016/j.socnet.2021.01.004

Dunbar RIM.The anatomy of friendship.Trends Cogn Sci. 2018;22(1):32-51. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2017.10.004

Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG.Friendship in later life: a research agenda.Innov Aging. 2019;3(1):igz005. doi:10.1093/geroni/igz005

Kitts JA, Leal DF.What is(n’t) a friend? Dimensions of the friendship concept among adolescents.Soc Networks. 2021;66:161-170. doi:10.1016/j.socnet.2021.01.004

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