Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsTechniquesWhat Reality Therapy Can Help WithEffectivenessThings to ConsiderHow to Get Started

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Table of Contents

Techniques

What Reality Therapy Can Help With

Effectiveness

Things to Consider

How to Get Started

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Reality therapy is an approach to psychotherapy that views all behaviors as choices. It is controversial because it does not recognize mental illness, instead insisting that everything you experience is ultimately your choice.

It is based on a concept called choice theory, which says that humans only have five basic needs, all of which are genetically driven and can’t be changed. Because of this, reality therapy is a bit controversial in the therapy world since it rejects the diagnosis ofmental health conditions.

William Glasser developed reality therapy in 1962, but he didn’t describe choice theory until 34 years later, in 1996. He described it as an update on an existing concept called control theory because he thought that name sounded more positive.

Glasser believes that the solution to a happier existence is fairly simple: people making better choices will lead tobetter relationshipsand overall happiness. The choice theory dictates that people, at their core, are trying to satisfy five basic needs.

Five Basic Needs of Choice TheorySurvival: This covers the standard needs of food and shelter, including psychological needs, such as feeling safe and secure.Love and belonging:This focuses on relationships with everyone, including friends and family, co-workers, teachers, and even pets.Power:This doesn’t mean that everyone seeks to achieve some domineering presence but rather says that people want to make some difference that allows them to leave behind a legacy.Freedom: This need says that people need to feel as though they have autonomy in their daily lives and their creative lives.Fun: More than just a good outing, this says that people need to experience pleasure, humor, relaxation, and learning that they find interesting and satisfying.

Five Basic Needs of Choice Theory

Survival: This covers the standard needs of food and shelter, including psychological needs, such as feeling safe and secure.Love and belonging:This focuses on relationships with everyone, including friends and family, co-workers, teachers, and even pets.Power:This doesn’t mean that everyone seeks to achieve some domineering presence but rather says that people want to make some difference that allows them to leave behind a legacy.Freedom: This need says that people need to feel as though they have autonomy in their daily lives and their creative lives.Fun: More than just a good outing, this says that people need to experience pleasure, humor, relaxation, and learning that they find interesting and satisfying.

How to Increase Your Sense of Belonging

Techniques of Reality Therapy

Relationship Habits

This is particularlyimportant for coupleswho are interested in reality therapy. It proposes that every interaction can practice the seven connecting or the seven disconnecting relationship habits.

Connecting relationship habits include:

Disconnecting habits include:

Quality vs. Perceived World

According to Glasser, everyone has a “quality world” in their minds, where they store away their goals and visions for their lives. For your mind to consider something a part of the quality world, it only has to meet at least one basic need.

The “perceived world,” on the other hand, is much more subjective. Glasser explains that the perceived world is based on all of your life experiences, as well as your background. From there, each experience or person that you encounter is filed away based on things that have happened to you in the past.

Comparing Place

Comparing place is the act of mentally comparing what you want (your quality world) with what you have (your perceived world). Glasser believes that the closer the two are, the better a person feels.

External vs. Internal Control Psychology

People either have an internal or external locus of control, or some combination of the two.

Internal control means that people think they have a lot of control over the things that happen to them - for example, they did well on a test because they studied very hard for it. These people are much more likely to take responsibility for their choices and the outcomes.

External control means that people blame external factors for what happens to them - for example, they did poorly on the test because the test was too difficult. It is harder for these people to accept that their choices led to certain outcomes.

Glasser believes that every choice is purposeful and that people make their best attempt with the information at their disposal. That said, in reality therapy, Glasser encourages people to look at these choices objectively so that they can determine whether they’re actually bringing them closer to their goals.

How to Set and Measure Personal Development Goals

Since reality therapy hinges on the beliefs of choice theory, the practice techniques focus largely on the five basic needs that humans aim to fulfill in their lives. While Glasser believes that humans are genetically driven to attain all five needs, he says that some people might need more of one than the other.

While many therapists use concepts from reality therapy in their practices, some of the tenets of reality therapy have proven most helpful in school settings.Not only does it emphasize self-control, but it also shows kids that they can control the consequences that result from their behaviors and their school work.

In an articleforThe Education Digest,William Glasser explained that more mindful student-teacher interactions and relationships could change the outcome of a child’s ability to learn. This, he explains, is because children need to feel respected, and teachers need to make efforts to understand students' individual roadblocks.

Online Therapy Services for Kids and Families, Tried and Tested

Couples therapyis another setting where aspects of reality therapy and choice theory have proven particularly helpful. It asks couples to think about what they are directly responsible for and build on the good things in their relationships.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Since reality therapy emphasizes accountability, it’s proven to be particularly helpful for adultsstruggling with addiction. Not only does it help them recognize the negative impacts that addiction has had on their lives in the past, but it has also been shown to increase feelings of hope.This is because it also helps them feel more in control.

How to Improve Your Self-Control

Effectiveness of Reality Therapy

Reality therapy has proven to be especially effective in groups since it emphasizes accountability. This concept is often easier to grasp when taught alongside others who are also participating, because the other members of the group can model what taking accountability looks like and practice it together. Research has supported the efficacy of this approach with students.That said, it teaches people to hold themselves personally accountable as well.

In addition to improved performance with students, it has also proven beneficial with teachers.This is partially because interacting with groups of people going through similar experiences helps people, in general, feel less alone and more supported.

Another group that has experienced positive effects as a result of reality therapy is people with schizophrenia.Patients engaged in sessions of group reality therapy experienced boosted self-esteem, had a higher feeling of being in control, and had an easier time coping with stress.

All of the groups share a positive boost in self-esteem because reality therapy emphasizes that individuals can practice and get better at self-control. This helps people feel as though they can control their life choices and even help others do the same.

It’s worth noting, however, that reality therapy has been studied significantly less in practice during individual therapy sessions.

Why It’s Important to Have High Self-Esteem

While many of these concepts are widely accepted, there are some pitfalls to consider if you’re looking for a personal therapist specializing solely in reality therapy. The most major, of course, is that it does not take mental health conditions into account.

This is particularly important if you’re looking for a therapist for yourself or you and a partner. However, the overarching concepts can still be useful in school or educational settings.

How to Get Started With Reality Therapy

If you are searching for a counselor or an educator certified in choice theory and reality therapy, the Glasser Instituteoffers a directory. If you’relooking for a reality therapistthat understands the concepts, consider setting up aninitial call with a new therapistto ask about their methods and if they integrate reality therapy into their sessions.

If you’re seeking a couples therapist specializing in reality therapy, you can expect some initial questions that Glasser himself laid out.They focus on determining why you and your significant other went into therapy in the first place, to see if the couple is truly seeking help because they want to make their relationship work or because they just want to say they’ve tried.

Other questions prompt couples to explain what they think is wrong with the relationship, what they think is good in the relationship, and what they will do in the next week that they believe will help. The point of these questions is to help the couple focus on what they can control, and throughout the sessions, they will be asked to continue adding in things that they can change.

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We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

10 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Glasser W.“Choice theory” and student success.The Education Digest. 1997;63(3):16-21.Bradley E.Choice Theory and Reality Therapy: An Overview.International Journal of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. 2014;34(1):6.Duba, Dr. Jill D.; Graham, Mary Amanda; Britzman, Mark; and Minatrea, Neresa. (2009).Introducing the “Basic Needs Genogram” in Reality Therapy-based Marriage and Family Counseling.International Journal of Reality Therapy, 28 (2), 3-9.Mason DrCP, Duba DrJD.Using Reality Therapy in Schools: Its Potential Impact on the Effectiveness of the ASCA National Model.International Journal of Reality Therapy. 2009;29(2):5-12.The effectiveness of couple therapy based on the choice … (n.d.-b).https://www.behavsci.ir/article_150380_eba12fce7e2c01863d16aff62016a1f9.pdfJahromi MK, Mosallanejad L.The Impact of Reality Therapy on Metacognition, Stress and Hope in Addicts.Global Journal of Health Science. 2014;6:281–287.The effectiveness of group reality therapy on Mental Health … (n.d.-c).https://www.ijmrhs.com/medical-research/the-effectiveness-of-group-reality-therapy-on-mental-health-and-selfesteem-of-students.pdfNematzadeha A, Sheikhy Sary H.Effectiveness of Group Reality Therapy in Increasing the Teachers’ Happiness☆.Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences. 2014;116:907-912.Kim J.Effectiveness of Reality Therapy Program for Schizophrenic Patients.Journal of Korean Academy of Nursing. 2017;35(8):28 March 2017.Lynn Fitzgerald A.Reality Therapy for Marital and Family Systems Counseling.Counseling and Wellness: A Professional Counseling Journal. 2011;2:93.Additional ReadingThe Glasser Institute’s website breaks down the details of choice theory and reality therapy.

10 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Glasser W.“Choice theory” and student success.The Education Digest. 1997;63(3):16-21.Bradley E.Choice Theory and Reality Therapy: An Overview.International Journal of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. 2014;34(1):6.Duba, Dr. Jill D.; Graham, Mary Amanda; Britzman, Mark; and Minatrea, Neresa. (2009).Introducing the “Basic Needs Genogram” in Reality Therapy-based Marriage and Family Counseling.International Journal of Reality Therapy, 28 (2), 3-9.Mason DrCP, Duba DrJD.Using Reality Therapy in Schools: Its Potential Impact on the Effectiveness of the ASCA National Model.International Journal of Reality Therapy. 2009;29(2):5-12.The effectiveness of couple therapy based on the choice … (n.d.-b).https://www.behavsci.ir/article_150380_eba12fce7e2c01863d16aff62016a1f9.pdfJahromi MK, Mosallanejad L.The Impact of Reality Therapy on Metacognition, Stress and Hope in Addicts.Global Journal of Health Science. 2014;6:281–287.The effectiveness of group reality therapy on Mental Health … (n.d.-c).https://www.ijmrhs.com/medical-research/the-effectiveness-of-group-reality-therapy-on-mental-health-and-selfesteem-of-students.pdfNematzadeha A, Sheikhy Sary H.Effectiveness of Group Reality Therapy in Increasing the Teachers’ Happiness☆.Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences. 2014;116:907-912.Kim J.Effectiveness of Reality Therapy Program for Schizophrenic Patients.Journal of Korean Academy of Nursing. 2017;35(8):28 March 2017.Lynn Fitzgerald A.Reality Therapy for Marital and Family Systems Counseling.Counseling and Wellness: A Professional Counseling Journal. 2011;2:93.Additional ReadingThe Glasser Institute’s website breaks down the details of choice theory and reality therapy.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Glasser W.“Choice theory” and student success.The Education Digest. 1997;63(3):16-21.Bradley E.Choice Theory and Reality Therapy: An Overview.International Journal of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. 2014;34(1):6.Duba, Dr. Jill D.; Graham, Mary Amanda; Britzman, Mark; and Minatrea, Neresa. (2009).Introducing the “Basic Needs Genogram” in Reality Therapy-based Marriage and Family Counseling.International Journal of Reality Therapy, 28 (2), 3-9.Mason DrCP, Duba DrJD.Using Reality Therapy in Schools: Its Potential Impact on the Effectiveness of the ASCA National Model.International Journal of Reality Therapy. 2009;29(2):5-12.The effectiveness of couple therapy based on the choice … (n.d.-b).https://www.behavsci.ir/article_150380_eba12fce7e2c01863d16aff62016a1f9.pdfJahromi MK, Mosallanejad L.The Impact of Reality Therapy on Metacognition, Stress and Hope in Addicts.Global Journal of Health Science. 2014;6:281–287.The effectiveness of group reality therapy on Mental Health … (n.d.-c).https://www.ijmrhs.com/medical-research/the-effectiveness-of-group-reality-therapy-on-mental-health-and-selfesteem-of-students.pdfNematzadeha A, Sheikhy Sary H.Effectiveness of Group Reality Therapy in Increasing the Teachers’ Happiness☆.Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences. 2014;116:907-912.Kim J.Effectiveness of Reality Therapy Program for Schizophrenic Patients.Journal of Korean Academy of Nursing. 2017;35(8):28 March 2017.Lynn Fitzgerald A.Reality Therapy for Marital and Family Systems Counseling.Counseling and Wellness: A Professional Counseling Journal. 2011;2:93.

Glasser W.“Choice theory” and student success.The Education Digest. 1997;63(3):16-21.

Bradley E.Choice Theory and Reality Therapy: An Overview.International Journal of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. 2014;34(1):6.

Duba, Dr. Jill D.; Graham, Mary Amanda; Britzman, Mark; and Minatrea, Neresa. (2009).Introducing the “Basic Needs Genogram” in Reality Therapy-based Marriage and Family Counseling.International Journal of Reality Therapy, 28 (2), 3-9.

Mason DrCP, Duba DrJD.Using Reality Therapy in Schools: Its Potential Impact on the Effectiveness of the ASCA National Model.International Journal of Reality Therapy. 2009;29(2):5-12.

The effectiveness of couple therapy based on the choice … (n.d.-b).https://www.behavsci.ir/article_150380_eba12fce7e2c01863d16aff62016a1f9.pdf

Jahromi MK, Mosallanejad L.The Impact of Reality Therapy on Metacognition, Stress and Hope in Addicts.Global Journal of Health Science. 2014;6:281–287.

The effectiveness of group reality therapy on Mental Health … (n.d.-c).https://www.ijmrhs.com/medical-research/the-effectiveness-of-group-reality-therapy-on-mental-health-and-selfesteem-of-students.pdf

Nematzadeha A, Sheikhy Sary H.Effectiveness of Group Reality Therapy in Increasing the Teachers’ Happiness☆.Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences. 2014;116:907-912.

Kim J.Effectiveness of Reality Therapy Program for Schizophrenic Patients.Journal of Korean Academy of Nursing. 2017;35(8):28 March 2017.

Lynn Fitzgerald A.Reality Therapy for Marital and Family Systems Counseling.Counseling and Wellness: A Professional Counseling Journal. 2011;2:93.

The Glasser Institute’s website breaks down the details of choice theory and reality therapy.

Hannah Owens, LMSW

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