How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?

Married couples may worry about how often they have sex and how it compares to others. Statistics offer some insight, but every marriage is different.

January 17, 2025 · 10 min · 2031 words · Matthew Garcia

Table of Contents

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?Married Sex and SatisfactionMarried Sex and CommunicationWhen You’re Out of SyncFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?

Married Sex and Satisfaction

Married Sex and Communication

When You’re Out of Sync

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

Although it’s not usually a good idea to compare your sex life to what sex statistics say about others, it can be interesting to look at how often other couples have sex. For example, sometimes peoplebelievethey’re having less sex than their peers, but scientific study or survey results might prove them wrong.

Other stats can offer insight on married couples' sexual satisfaction, as well as relationship satisfaction and how it’s related to sex.

This article discusses how often married couples have sex. It also covers how sex frequency is related to relationship satisfaction and communication.

Americans in their 20s (whether partnered or not) have sex about 80 times a year, or more than once per week, says a 2017 study.

Although the frequency of sex is associated withhappiness, partnered couples who have sex more than once a week are no happier than those having sex weekly, according to an analysis of three research studies of more than 30,000 people.

Having sex once a week might be the ideal, according to science. But the real ideal is what works for you and your partner.

RecapResearch suggests that the average adult in their 20s has sex around 80 times a year, but there is no “ideal” amount of sex. What matters is whether you and your partner are happy with the quantity and quality of sex.

Recap

Research suggests that the average adult in their 20s has sex around 80 times a year, but there is no “ideal” amount of sex. What matters is whether you and your partner are happy with the quantity and quality of sex.

How Important Are Our Sexual Needs?

Satisfaction and interpersonal warmth matter more in a marriage than the frequency of intercourse, according to sex researchers. And there is a strong connection between sex, well-being,affection, and positive affect (or mood), according to research published in 2017.

Mutual respect is also important; when partners feel respected, they also report being sexually satisfied. In terms of how their sex life could be improved, people say they’re looking for more love and romance, more quality time alone with their partner, more fun, and less stress.

How to Have a Healthy Married Sex Life

Couples also say they could havebetter communicationwith their partner. The answer to “what should we do to make our sex life better/have sex more often/make sex more satisfying” often begins with talking.

One study, published in 2019, tied better sexual communication with greater sexual satisfaction—and even fewer faked orgasms. “Women who continued to fake orgasms were more likely to indicate embarrassment talking about sex with their partner in explicit ways,” the study’s authors said.

“More than half of women reported they had wanted to communicate with a partner regarding sex but decided not to; the most common reasons were not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings, not feeling comfortable going into detail, and embarrassment,” the study continued.

RecapMany factors can affect the quality and frequency of sex, but many couples report that communication plays a pivotal role. Couples that communicate well may be more likely to have better sex more frequently.

Many factors can affect the quality and frequency of sex, but many couples report that communication plays a pivotal role. Couples that communicate well may be more likely to have better sex more frequently.

If you’re happy with the frequency of sex in your marriage, you’re having the right amount of sex foryou. If you or your partner are not, there are plenty of things you can do.

How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner

A Word From Verywell

Though interesting, what statistics say about other peoples' sex lives is usually not relevant to your own. What matters is how you and partner feel about your relationship and sex life—and how well you can discuss it with each other.

Communication is key. Depending on the underlying issues and emotions you and your partner are experiencing, you might benefit from working with apersonal therapist, acouple’s counselor, or asex therapist.

The Best Online Sex Therapy Programs

Surveys tend to suggest that sex frequency declines after having children, although this varies from one couple to the next. Research has found that 89% of women report resuming sexual activity within six months after having a child.Factors such as sexual dysfunction, lack of sleep, body image issues, stress, conflicting schedules, and the demands of parenting can all play a role in how frequently couples have sex after having children.

Changes in sexual desire and frequency are normal as people age. For men, sex drive tends to peak around age 18, when testosterone levels are highest, and then begins to gradually decline starting at around age 30.For women, sexual appetite usually peaks in the 30s and 40s and begins to decline following menopause.Hormone levels and other physical changes can play a role in how frequently people desire or engage in sex as they age.

Changes in sexual desire and frequency are normal as people age. For men, sex drive tends to peak around age 18, when testosterone levels are highest, and then begins to gradually decline starting at around age 30.

For women, sexual appetite usually peaks in the 30s and 40s and begins to decline following menopause.Hormone levels and other physical changes can play a role in how frequently people desire or engage in sex as they age.

10 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Muise A, Schimmack U, Impett EA.Sexual frequency predicts well-being, but more is not always better.Soc Psychol Pers Sci. 2016;7(4):295-302. doi:10.1177/1948550615616462Debrot A, Meuwly N, Muise A, Impett EA, Schoebi D.More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2017;43(3):287-299. doi:10.1177/0146167216684124Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H, Fu TC, Dodge B, Ponander K, Sanders SA.Women’s sexual satisfaction, communication, and reasons for (no longer) faking orgasm: Findings from a U.S. probability sample.Arch Sex Behav. 2019;48(8):2461-2472. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0Schoenfeld EA, Loving TJ, Pope MT, Huston TL, Štulhofer A.Does sex really matter? Examining the connections between spouses’ nonsexual behaviors, sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(2):489-501. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0672-4Loewenstein G, Krishnamurti T, Kopsic J, McDonald D.Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness?.J Econ Beh Org. 2015;116:206-218. doi:10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021Gutzeit O, Levy G, Lowenstein L.Postpartum female sexual function: risk factors for postpartum sexual dysfunction.Sex Med. 2020;8(1):8-13. doi:10.1016/j.esxm.2019.10.005Kelsey TW, Li LQ, Mitchell RT, Whelan A, Anderson RA, Wallace WH.A validated age-related normative model for male total testosterone shows increasing variance but no decline after age 40 years[published correction appears in PLoS One. 2015;10(2):e0117674].PLoS One. 2014;9(10):e109346. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0109346Easton JA, Confer JC, Goetz CD, Buss DM.Reproduction expediting: Sexual motivations, fantasies, and the ticking biological clock.Pers Individ Diff. 2010;49(5):516-520. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.05.018Karraker A, Delamater J, Schwartz CR.Sexual frequency decline from midlife to later life.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2011;66(4):502-512. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr058

10 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Muise A, Schimmack U, Impett EA.Sexual frequency predicts well-being, but more is not always better.Soc Psychol Pers Sci. 2016;7(4):295-302. doi:10.1177/1948550615616462Debrot A, Meuwly N, Muise A, Impett EA, Schoebi D.More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2017;43(3):287-299. doi:10.1177/0146167216684124Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H, Fu TC, Dodge B, Ponander K, Sanders SA.Women’s sexual satisfaction, communication, and reasons for (no longer) faking orgasm: Findings from a U.S. probability sample.Arch Sex Behav. 2019;48(8):2461-2472. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0Schoenfeld EA, Loving TJ, Pope MT, Huston TL, Štulhofer A.Does sex really matter? Examining the connections between spouses’ nonsexual behaviors, sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(2):489-501. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0672-4Loewenstein G, Krishnamurti T, Kopsic J, McDonald D.Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness?.J Econ Beh Org. 2015;116:206-218. doi:10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021Gutzeit O, Levy G, Lowenstein L.Postpartum female sexual function: risk factors for postpartum sexual dysfunction.Sex Med. 2020;8(1):8-13. doi:10.1016/j.esxm.2019.10.005Kelsey TW, Li LQ, Mitchell RT, Whelan A, Anderson RA, Wallace WH.A validated age-related normative model for male total testosterone shows increasing variance but no decline after age 40 years[published correction appears in PLoS One. 2015;10(2):e0117674].PLoS One. 2014;9(10):e109346. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0109346Easton JA, Confer JC, Goetz CD, Buss DM.Reproduction expediting: Sexual motivations, fantasies, and the ticking biological clock.Pers Individ Diff. 2010;49(5):516-520. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.05.018Karraker A, Delamater J, Schwartz CR.Sexual frequency decline from midlife to later life.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2011;66(4):502-512. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr058

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Muise A, Schimmack U, Impett EA.Sexual frequency predicts well-being, but more is not always better.Soc Psychol Pers Sci. 2016;7(4):295-302. doi:10.1177/1948550615616462Debrot A, Meuwly N, Muise A, Impett EA, Schoebi D.More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2017;43(3):287-299. doi:10.1177/0146167216684124Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H, Fu TC, Dodge B, Ponander K, Sanders SA.Women’s sexual satisfaction, communication, and reasons for (no longer) faking orgasm: Findings from a U.S. probability sample.Arch Sex Behav. 2019;48(8):2461-2472. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0Schoenfeld EA, Loving TJ, Pope MT, Huston TL, Štulhofer A.Does sex really matter? Examining the connections between spouses’ nonsexual behaviors, sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(2):489-501. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0672-4Loewenstein G, Krishnamurti T, Kopsic J, McDonald D.Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness?.J Econ Beh Org. 2015;116:206-218. doi:10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021Gutzeit O, Levy G, Lowenstein L.Postpartum female sexual function: risk factors for postpartum sexual dysfunction.Sex Med. 2020;8(1):8-13. doi:10.1016/j.esxm.2019.10.005Kelsey TW, Li LQ, Mitchell RT, Whelan A, Anderson RA, Wallace WH.A validated age-related normative model for male total testosterone shows increasing variance but no decline after age 40 years[published correction appears in PLoS One. 2015;10(2):e0117674].PLoS One. 2014;9(10):e109346. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0109346Easton JA, Confer JC, Goetz CD, Buss DM.Reproduction expediting: Sexual motivations, fantasies, and the ticking biological clock.Pers Individ Diff. 2010;49(5):516-520. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.05.018Karraker A, Delamater J, Schwartz CR.Sexual frequency decline from midlife to later life.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2011;66(4):502-512. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr058

Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1

Muise A, Schimmack U, Impett EA.Sexual frequency predicts well-being, but more is not always better.Soc Psychol Pers Sci. 2016;7(4):295-302. doi:10.1177/1948550615616462

Debrot A, Meuwly N, Muise A, Impett EA, Schoebi D.More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2017;43(3):287-299. doi:10.1177/0146167216684124

Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H, Fu TC, Dodge B, Ponander K, Sanders SA.Women’s sexual satisfaction, communication, and reasons for (no longer) faking orgasm: Findings from a U.S. probability sample.Arch Sex Behav. 2019;48(8):2461-2472. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0

Schoenfeld EA, Loving TJ, Pope MT, Huston TL, Štulhofer A.Does sex really matter? Examining the connections between spouses’ nonsexual behaviors, sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(2):489-501. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0672-4

Loewenstein G, Krishnamurti T, Kopsic J, McDonald D.Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness?.J Econ Beh Org. 2015;116:206-218. doi:10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021

Gutzeit O, Levy G, Lowenstein L.Postpartum female sexual function: risk factors for postpartum sexual dysfunction.Sex Med. 2020;8(1):8-13. doi:10.1016/j.esxm.2019.10.005

Kelsey TW, Li LQ, Mitchell RT, Whelan A, Anderson RA, Wallace WH.A validated age-related normative model for male total testosterone shows increasing variance but no decline after age 40 years[published correction appears in PLoS One. 2015;10(2):e0117674].PLoS One. 2014;9(10):e109346. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0109346

Easton JA, Confer JC, Goetz CD, Buss DM.Reproduction expediting: Sexual motivations, fantasies, and the ticking biological clock.Pers Individ Diff. 2010;49(5):516-520. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.05.018

Karraker A, Delamater J, Schwartz CR.Sexual frequency decline from midlife to later life.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2011;66(4):502-512. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr058

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