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You’re getting married! Congratulations! You’ll be one of the2 million peoplein the United States who will take the plunge this year. This is an exciting time in your life, and the next few weeks and months are going to be filled with coordinating everything about your big day.
You probably have questions, though. The biggest one might just be: how long ispremarital counseling? The truth is, there really isn’t one set answer to that question. Determininghow long premarital counseling shouldlast really depends on a couple’s unique needs.
That said, there is at leastsomegeneral consensus about the subject. Most therapists agree that anywhere from 8 – 10 weeks up to 3 – 6 month is sufficient when it comes to premarital therapy.
Marriage Counseling OnlineStrengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.Start here
Marriage Counseling OnlineStrengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.
Marriage Counseling Online
Strengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.
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Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
That said, it’s important to keep in mind that how long it takes to complete premarital counseling really depends on the issues you want or need to cover throughout your sessions.
How Long Does Premarital Counseling Usually Last?
Factors That Can Impact the Length of Premarital Counseling
There are a number of factors that can impact how long your premarital counseling takes. While you can cover dozens of topics throughout your sessions, there are a handful of bigger issues that might take longer to successfully overcome.
Communication issues
Communication can be a tough one to tackle. It’s key in your relationship, but it can also be the foundation of productive therapy. If you can’t effectively communicate, you aren’t going to get the most out of each counseling session.
How long should premarital counseling last for communication issues?
Since communication is so essential, you should be willing to take as long as you need to learn how to effectively communicate in your relationship. Therapy has proven very successful in helping people understand how to communicate so they can build strong connections. It’s definitely worth the time you invest to focus on communication in your premarital counseling.
Family issues
Family problems can be daunting to work through. Family challenges, either in your own life or in your partner’s, can easily extend the time your therapy takes to complete. While premarital counseling shouldn’t be about pleasing your family or your partner’s family, it can help you establish boundaries and trust between the two of you to hopefully prevent issues in the future.Family issues can stem fromcultural or religious differences(which we’ll touch on next) and can be deeply embedded in each of your psyches. It makes sense then, that the time to complete therapy could be longer when you’re dealing with families.
How long should premarital counseling last for family issues?
When trying to navigate serious family issues before your marriage, therapy might take six months or more.
Religious or cultural issues
Religious or cultural differences can be hard to resolve. Marriage really is about blending two people’s lives, but when religious or cultural differences come into play, it might become a bit more challenging.The best way to overcome deep-rooted cultural and/or religious differences between two people is to really focus on communication. If work there is the backbone of your therapy, you can find common ground and learn to understand each other’s culture or religion. You can then begin to accept one another so you can find a way to make the differences work in your marriage.
How long should premarital counseling last for religious or cultural issues?
Cultural or religious differences in a relationship can take 6 months or longer to fully resolve in some cases. Working on these cultural and religious differences with your future spouse early on can be beneficial to your marriage and possibly promote a healthy relationship as well as a healthy marriage.
Finance issues
Simply put, financial problems can be challenging. While not every financial issue will mean more therapy, sometimes finances can stem from great amounts of debt, or very big loans, that can make a partner nervous. If you’re going to therapy to establish a plan around finances that are complicated, you should expect it to take a bit longer to resolve.The biggest thing to note about addressing finances in therapy is that without transparency, not much progress will be made. If you both go into it willing to be completely transparent and open about your current situation — as well as how you want to move forward — you’ll undoubtedly see greater success.While premarital counseling won’t solve all of your financial issues, it can definitely help each of you see the other’s perspective more clearly. With compassion, trust, and understanding, you can move forward with a common goal about your finances.
How long should premarital counseling last for finance issues?
The nature of the financial issues will dictate how long therapy might take. You may expect to meet with a therapist for six months or longer to fully address and overcome financial issues in a relationship. You might even need to meet multiple times a week.
Trust issues
Trust issues can be difficult to overcome. Trust can be a tough topic to tackle at any point in life. Heading into a marriage, it might be even more so. Ironically, since we talk so much about communication in relation to therapy, communication may be the biggest barrier in some cases when dealing with trust issues.People may be afraid to trust because they’ve been hurt orexperienced trauma. They might have underlying difficulties opening up, making therapy a bit more intensive and time-consuming. You might need to focus on communication skills prior to making much, if any, progress on the trust front. With each premarital counseling session, you can slowly work to trust each other.Keep in mind, though, itcanbe done and with great success. Your work toward building solid communication skills and establishing trust in your relationship can lay the foundation for a positive connection that lasts. Couples counseling, premarital counseling, or similar is beneficial in building a healthyrelationship free of trustissues.
How long should premarital counseling last for trust issues?
Sometimes trust issues can take an extra 2 – 3 months of counseling so you have time to focus sessions on both trust-building as well as effective communication.
Someresearchshows that some divorces resulted from problems that were there at the very beginning of the relationship. Premarital andmarriage counselingcan help you identify and then address issues that may interfere in your relationship for years to come. Counseling is worth the time it takes if you want to build solid ground to grow your relationship.
Online therapy with Talkspace can help you and your partner prepare for this exciting new chapter and marriage journey together. Establishing a strong foundation before marriage is one of the many fulfilling benefits of premarital counseling. Reach out today to get started.
Sources:1. FastStats. Cdc.gov.https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm. Published 2021. Accessed October 4, 2021.2. Carroll J, Doherty W. Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A Meta-Analytic Review of Outcome Research. Fam Relat. 2003;52(2):105-118.https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2003.00105.x3. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Aamft.org.https://aamft.org/. Accessed October 4, 2021.4. Williamson H, Nguyen T, Bradbury T, Karney B. Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time?. J Soc Pers Relat. 2016;33(8):1120-1134.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/285236624_Are_Problems_that_Contribute_to_Divorce_Present_at_the_Start_of_Marriage_or_Do_They_Emerge_Over_Time
Sources:
FastStats. Cdc.gov.https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm. Published 2021. Accessed October 4, 2021.
Carroll J, Doherty W. Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A Meta-Analytic Review of Outcome Research. Fam Relat. 2003;52(2):105-118.https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2003.00105.x
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Aamft.org.https://aamft.org/. Accessed October 4, 2021.
Williamson H, Nguyen T, Bradbury T, Karney B. Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time?. J Soc Pers Relat. 2016;33(8):1120-1134.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/285236624_Are_Problems_that_Contribute_to_Divorce_Present_at_the_Start_of_Marriage_or_Do_They_Emerge_Over_Time
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