Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsFactors Contributing to Internalized HomophobiaSigns and Symptoms of Internalized HomophobiaImpact of Internalized Homophobia on Mental HealthOvercoming Internalized HomophobiaBuilding Resilience and Self-Acceptance

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Factors Contributing to Internalized Homophobia

Signs and Symptoms of Internalized Homophobia

Impact of Internalized Homophobia on Mental Health

Overcoming Internalized Homophobia

Building Resilience and Self-Acceptance

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Unfortunately, something like internalized homophobia—which can encompass a range of negative attitudes toward homosexuality—is all too common.

“Internalized homophobia is a process through which dominant homophobic narratives infiltrate a queer person’s thoughts and feelings in ways that lead them to be self-critical,” says queer psychotherapist and clinical supervisorMadison McCullough, LCSW. She notes that this process might be subconscious, and a person might not even have realized when it’s occurred.

As you can expect, internalized homophobia has negative consequences for those who suffer from it.

Internalized homophobia can lower self-esteem, increase feelings of loneliness and isolation, and ultimately lead to depression and anxiety.—MADISON MCCULLOUGH, LCSW

Internalized homophobia can lower self-esteem, increase feelings of loneliness and isolation, and ultimately lead to depression and anxiety.

—MADISON MCCULLOUGH, LCSW

We’ll examine why internalized homophobia happens, how to recognize if it’s an issue in your life, and what you can do to try to move past it.

There is no single life circumstance that causes us to internalize homophobia. Rather, any variety of factors may lead us to feel negatively about ourselves. Here are some reasons for this phenomenon.

Family and Upbringing

If you were brough up thinking that queerness was wrong, it can be hard to let that go. “Familial attitudes absorbed during upbringing, where non-heteronormative orientations are consciously or subconsciously portrayed as less valid or moral,” can cause internalized homophobia, saysRebecca Minor, LICSW, Gender Specialist.

Societal and Cultural Influences

If you live in a major city in the U.S., it can be easy to forget that most places are much less progressive. However, many parts of the world, and even of this country, just aren’t accepting of LGBTQIA+ identities.

Religious Beliefs and Teachings

Many religions have come a long way in recent years. You might see women rabbis, or churches withrainbow flagsoutside them. However, it’s important to realize that many sects of major religions still think being queer is wrong or against their teachings. If you come from a religious background, this can be perilous to your identity and make for some complicated community dynamics.

Media Representation and Stereotypes

You may be wondering whether or not you have internalized the homophobia you’ve seen in the world or been subjected to. These are some common signs of it:

In addition to these signs, McCullough notes that more nuanced ways of internalizing homophobia may also occur.

A very common manifestation of internalized homophobia is not feeling queer ‘enough,’ or feeling like you have to engage in certain behaviors in order for your queerness to be ‘legitimate.'—MADISON MCCULLOUGH, LCSW

A very common manifestation of internalized homophobia is not feeling queer ‘enough,’ or feeling like you have to engage in certain behaviors in order for your queerness to be ‘legitimate.’

McCullough adds that “these beliefs are steeped in internalized homophobia because they are based on unrealistic ideals of queerness that do not actually exist.” That sentiment resonates with me personally, as a person who has been told that I “don’t look gay” for the entirety of my adult life.

Minor says that feelings ofshamemay also accompany internalized homophobia. This “may include a persistent discomfort with one’s sexual orientation, denial of one’s true identity, or engaging in negative self-talk specifically related to one’s LGBTQ+ identity,” they explain.

Internalized homophobia can have hugely negative consequences on a person’s mental health. It can make our relationships more challenging and less satisfyingand make us more likely to suffer from substance abuse and suicidal ideation.

As unfortunate as the consequences of internalized homophobia are, the good news is that you have options. You don’t have to live in this negative mindset. Instead, there are steps you can take to make your mindset a more healthy and loving one.

Finding community can also be very beneficial. No one wants to be alone, and the more we are able to see ourselves in others the better we can feel.

Building a supportive community, whether through friends, support groups, or online platforms, can also be incredibly valuable.—REBECCA MINOR, LICSW

Building a supportive community, whether through friends, support groups, or online platforms, can also be incredibly valuable.

—REBECCA MINOR, LICSW

Learning about queer history to help us find a sense of place, and can also help us to understand the progress that has been made in the last century. “Educating oneself about LGBTQ+ histories and cultures can foster a sense of pride and connection,” recommends Minor.

It takes work, but it’s completely possible to move into a place of accepting, and even really loving, your LGBTQIA+ identity. “Practicing self-compassion and challengingnegative self-beliefsis key to moving towards self-love and acceptance,” says Minor. Developing a positive self-image is possible.

Choosing only to surround yourself, when possible, with people who support you and your life is also very helpful. This isn’t always plausible, especially if you are young and still living with homophobic parents, but the more you can spend your time with people who validate you, the better.

Getting involved in community, from virtual to in-person, can help us foster our sense of pride. You may choose to engage in advocacy or activism, or just attend a Pride event. To discern what will help you feel good, McCullough suggests you “try asking yourself, ‘what makes me feel the most affirmed in and excited about who I am?’ From there, see if you can creatively brainstorm ways to highlight and make more space for those parts of yourself in your day-to-day life.”

Minor notes that “this journey is personal and unique to each individual.” Whatever enables you to feel more pride and less shame is the right step for you to take, right now, and as time and your attitudes shift, you might migrate to something else.

This is a journey, not a destination! Do whatever feels right for you, whenever it does, provided you feel safe doing so.

Conclusion

Internalized homophobia has numerous causes, many of them based in our surroundings and environment. It negatively impacts our mental health, leading to everything from depression to suicidal ideation. Thankfully, we can turn our negative thoughts about our identity around.

Doing the work of therapy, finding community, and educating yourself about our history can all help you to feel better about who you are. We all deserve love, both from ourselves and from others. If you come from a background that has caused you to feel internalized homophobia, don’t despair: With the right help, you can shift into a place of pride and happiness.

Getting HelpIf you’re interested in trying LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy,check out our listof the best options.For young people seeking support,The Trevor Projectcan’t be beat.Trans Lifelinespecifically offers support for transgender individuals.The LGBT National Help Centerhas staff available to speak with you via online chat or telephone, as well as offering virtual chatrooms.

Getting Help

If you’re interested in trying LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy,check out our listof the best options.For young people seeking support,The Trevor Projectcan’t be beat.Trans Lifelinespecifically offers support for transgender individuals.The LGBT National Help Centerhas staff available to speak with you via online chat or telephone, as well as offering virtual chatrooms.

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Frost DM, Meyer IH.Internalized homophobia and relationship quality among lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals.J Couns Psychol. 2009;56(1):97-109.Ong C, Tan RKJ, Le D, et al.Association between sexual orientation acceptance and suicidal ideation, substance use, and internalised homophobia amongst the pink carpet Y cohort study of young gay, bisexual, and queer men in Singapore.BMC Public Health. 2021;21(1):971.Igartua KJ, Gill K, Montoro R.Internalized homophobia: a factor in depression, anxiety, and suicide in the gay and lesbian population.Can J Commun Ment Health. 2003;22(2):15-30.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Frost DM, Meyer IH.Internalized homophobia and relationship quality among lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals.J Couns Psychol. 2009;56(1):97-109.Ong C, Tan RKJ, Le D, et al.Association between sexual orientation acceptance and suicidal ideation, substance use, and internalised homophobia amongst the pink carpet Y cohort study of young gay, bisexual, and queer men in Singapore.BMC Public Health. 2021;21(1):971.Igartua KJ, Gill K, Montoro R.Internalized homophobia: a factor in depression, anxiety, and suicide in the gay and lesbian population.Can J Commun Ment Health. 2003;22(2):15-30.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Frost DM, Meyer IH.Internalized homophobia and relationship quality among lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals.J Couns Psychol. 2009;56(1):97-109.Ong C, Tan RKJ, Le D, et al.Association between sexual orientation acceptance and suicidal ideation, substance use, and internalised homophobia amongst the pink carpet Y cohort study of young gay, bisexual, and queer men in Singapore.BMC Public Health. 2021;21(1):971.Igartua KJ, Gill K, Montoro R.Internalized homophobia: a factor in depression, anxiety, and suicide in the gay and lesbian population.Can J Commun Ment Health. 2003;22(2):15-30.

Frost DM, Meyer IH.Internalized homophobia and relationship quality among lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals.J Couns Psychol. 2009;56(1):97-109.

Ong C, Tan RKJ, Le D, et al.Association between sexual orientation acceptance and suicidal ideation, substance use, and internalised homophobia amongst the pink carpet Y cohort study of young gay, bisexual, and queer men in Singapore.BMC Public Health. 2021;21(1):971.

Igartua KJ, Gill K, Montoro R.Internalized homophobia: a factor in depression, anxiety, and suicide in the gay and lesbian population.Can J Commun Ment Health. 2003;22(2):15-30.

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