How Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Is Used

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsEmotionally Focused Therapy TechniquesWho Is Emotionally Focused Therapy For?Examples of Emotionally Focused TherapyBenefitsHow Effective Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?Things to ConsiderWhat to Expect

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Emotionally Focused Therapy Techniques

Who Is Emotionally Focused Therapy For?

Examples of Emotionally Focused Therapy

Benefits

How Effective Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Things to Consider

What to Expect

Close

At a GlanceEmotionally focused therapy (EFT) helps people understand their attachments to others to improve their relationships. It is based on the psychology of attachment bonds.

At a Glance

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) helps people understand their attachments to others to improve their relationships. It is based on the psychology of attachment bonds.

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a type of short-term treatment used to improve attachment and bonding in adult relationships. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg developed EFT in the 1980s. The couples therapy approach is based on research about love as an attachment bond.

EFT has also been adapted for families. This treatment can help people form more secureemotional bonds, which can promote stronger relationships and improved communication.

In this article, we’ll go over how emotionally focused therapy works and look at some examples of how it can be used.

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The change process through EFT has nine steps across three stages. The map guides the therapist and helps them track progress when working with a couple.

De-Escalation

The first EFT step is focused on identifying negative interaction patterns that contribute to conflict, identifying negative emotions related to attachment, and reframing those feelings. This process helps couples better see how their insecurities and fears affect their relationship.

Partners view undesirable behaviors (i.e., shutting down or angry escalations) as “protests of disconnection.” Couples learn to be emotionally available, empathetic, and engaged with each other, strengthening the attachment bond and creating a safe place between them.

Restructuring

During the next stage, each partner learns to share their emotions and show acceptance and compassion for the other partner. The process attempts to reduce conflict and create a moresecure emotional bond.

Couples learn to express deep, underlying emotions from a place of vulnerability and ask for their needs to be met. This step also helps partners become more responsive to each other’s needs.

Consolidation

During the last step, a therapist helps the couple work on new communication strategies and practice skills when interacting with each other. This process can help couples see how they have been able to change and how new interaction patterns prevent conflict.

New sequences of bonding interactions occur and replace old, negative patterns such as “pursue-withdraw” or “criticize-defend.“These new, positive cycles then become self-reinforcing and create permanent change. The relationship becomes a haven and a healing environment for both partners.”

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EFT can benefit couples who are struggling with conflict, distress, and poor communication.

A couple may benefit from EFT if they are dealing with:

EFT can also be a powerful approach for couples dealing with infidelity and trauma, both recently and in the past.

Neuroscience is at the center of bothattachment theoryand EFT. Our attachments to others are strong, and our brains code them as “safety.” MRI studies of the brain have shown the significance of secure attachment.

Attachment and the BrainMRI studies of the brain have shown the significance of secure attachment, and neuroscience is at the center of bothattachment theoryand EFT. Our brains code strong attachments to others as “safety.”

Attachment and the Brain

MRI studies of the brain have shown the significance of secure attachment, and neuroscience is at the center of bothattachment theoryand EFT. Our brains code strong attachments to others as “safety.”

While often used in couples therapy, EFT can also be helpful in individual therapy and family therapy. For a single person, EFT can be used to address and work through emotion-related challenges. It can also help family members form more secure bonds.

EFT is being used in couples therapy in private practice, university training centers, and hospital clinics. EFT has also been adapted for different cultures around the world.

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Here are a few examples of how EFT can be used:

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Benefits of Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally focused therapy can unwind automatic, counterproductive reactions that threaten relationships. Individuals, couples, and families can get the following benefits from therapy:

One strength of EFT is that there has been extensive research on it.Some experts feel EFT is one of the most (if not the most) evidence-validated forms of couples’ therapy.

The technique is collaborative and respectful of clients, and it shifts blame for the couple’s problems to the negative patterns between them instead of the individual partners.

EFT can be an effective way for couples to form stronger bonds and build better relationships. Research has found that EFT can improve interactions between partners and reduce the amount of stress that people experience in their relationships.

A 2019 systematic review found that EFT was an effective treatment for improving marital satisfaction.The recovery was also quite lasting, with little evidence of a relapse back into distress.

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There are some important things to consider before you start EFT. Since it involves exploring the negative emotions and patterns that contribute to conflicts in relationships, EFT can be challenging to undertake. The therapy process itself may lead to difficult or intense emotions.

For example, for a person with insecure attachment, any perceived distance or separation in close relationships is interpreted as danger.Losing the connection to a loved one threatens their sense of security. They may go into self-preservation mode and rely on the things they did to “survive” or cope in childhood. When they are triggered as adults in romantic relationships, they repeat unhelpful patterns that they picked up during their formative years.

For EFT to be effective, everyone needs to take part. That means all members of a family or both partners in a couple need to be ready and willing to participate. Losing the connection to a loved one threatens our sense of security.

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During an EFT session, a therapist observes the dynamics between a couple and acts as a collaborator. They coach and direct the partners as they try new ways of interacting.

Unlike forms of therapy where the therapist listens passively, EFT therapists take an active role in guiding the conversation. The therapeutic approach also focuses on addressing emotions and interactions within the session rather than on things like worksheets and homework.

Therapists are empathetic and help couples recognize their emotions as valid. They help couples and individuals recognize behaviors and patterns that they may not even be aware of and see how these actions contribute to conflict in a relationship.

If you think this form of therapy would improve your relationship, you can find anEFT-trained therapistthrough the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) website.

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14 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Benson LA, Sevier M, Christensen A.The impact of behavioral couple therapy on attachment in distressed couples.J Marital Fam Ther. 2013;39(4):407-20. doi:10.1111/jmft.12020ICEEFT.What is EFT?.EFT Resource Center.What is EFT?.Greenberg L.Emotionally focused therapy with couples.Greenberg, LS.Emotion-focused therapy, revised edition. American Psychological Association. 2017. doi:10.1037/15971-001Allan R, Edwards C, Lee N.Cultural adaptations of emotionally focused therapy. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy. 2022. doi:10.1080/15332691.2022.2052391Najafi M, Ali Akbar Soleimani, Ahmadi K, Nasirudin Javidi, Elnaz Hoseini Kamkar.The effectiveness of emotionally focused therapy on enhancing marital adjustment and quality of life among infertile couples with marital conflicts.PubMed. 2015;9(2):238-246. doi:10.22074/ijfs.2015.4245Gabatz RIB, Schwartz E, Milbrath VM, Carvalho HCW, Lange C, Soares MC.Formation and disruption of bonds between caregivers and institutionalized children.Rev Bras Enferm. 2018;71(suppl 6):2650-2658. doi:10.1590/0034-7167-2017-0844Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229Spengler, P. M., Lee, N. A., Wiebe, S. A., & Wittenborn, A. K.A comprehensive meta-analysis on the efficacy of emotionally focused couple therapy.2022.Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice.Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/cfp0000233Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016 Sep;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229Beasley CC, Ager R.Emotionally focused couples therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years.J Evid Based Soc Work.2019;3:1-16. doi: 10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013Jones, L. K.Emotionally focused therapy with couples — the social work connection.Social Work Today.2019;9(3):18.Johnson, S.EFT with challenging couples.

14 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Benson LA, Sevier M, Christensen A.The impact of behavioral couple therapy on attachment in distressed couples.J Marital Fam Ther. 2013;39(4):407-20. doi:10.1111/jmft.12020ICEEFT.What is EFT?.EFT Resource Center.What is EFT?.Greenberg L.Emotionally focused therapy with couples.Greenberg, LS.Emotion-focused therapy, revised edition. American Psychological Association. 2017. doi:10.1037/15971-001Allan R, Edwards C, Lee N.Cultural adaptations of emotionally focused therapy. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy. 2022. doi:10.1080/15332691.2022.2052391Najafi M, Ali Akbar Soleimani, Ahmadi K, Nasirudin Javidi, Elnaz Hoseini Kamkar.The effectiveness of emotionally focused therapy on enhancing marital adjustment and quality of life among infertile couples with marital conflicts.PubMed. 2015;9(2):238-246. doi:10.22074/ijfs.2015.4245Gabatz RIB, Schwartz E, Milbrath VM, Carvalho HCW, Lange C, Soares MC.Formation and disruption of bonds between caregivers and institutionalized children.Rev Bras Enferm. 2018;71(suppl 6):2650-2658. doi:10.1590/0034-7167-2017-0844Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229Spengler, P. M., Lee, N. A., Wiebe, S. A., & Wittenborn, A. K.A comprehensive meta-analysis on the efficacy of emotionally focused couple therapy.2022.Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice.Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/cfp0000233Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016 Sep;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229Beasley CC, Ager R.Emotionally focused couples therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years.J Evid Based Soc Work.2019;3:1-16. doi: 10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013Jones, L. K.Emotionally focused therapy with couples — the social work connection.Social Work Today.2019;9(3):18.Johnson, S.EFT with challenging couples.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Benson LA, Sevier M, Christensen A.The impact of behavioral couple therapy on attachment in distressed couples.J Marital Fam Ther. 2013;39(4):407-20. doi:10.1111/jmft.12020ICEEFT.What is EFT?.EFT Resource Center.What is EFT?.Greenberg L.Emotionally focused therapy with couples.Greenberg, LS.Emotion-focused therapy, revised edition. American Psychological Association. 2017. doi:10.1037/15971-001Allan R, Edwards C, Lee N.Cultural adaptations of emotionally focused therapy. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy. 2022. doi:10.1080/15332691.2022.2052391Najafi M, Ali Akbar Soleimani, Ahmadi K, Nasirudin Javidi, Elnaz Hoseini Kamkar.The effectiveness of emotionally focused therapy on enhancing marital adjustment and quality of life among infertile couples with marital conflicts.PubMed. 2015;9(2):238-246. doi:10.22074/ijfs.2015.4245Gabatz RIB, Schwartz E, Milbrath VM, Carvalho HCW, Lange C, Soares MC.Formation and disruption of bonds between caregivers and institutionalized children.Rev Bras Enferm. 2018;71(suppl 6):2650-2658. doi:10.1590/0034-7167-2017-0844Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229Spengler, P. M., Lee, N. A., Wiebe, S. A., & Wittenborn, A. K.A comprehensive meta-analysis on the efficacy of emotionally focused couple therapy.2022.Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice.Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/cfp0000233Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016 Sep;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229Beasley CC, Ager R.Emotionally focused couples therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years.J Evid Based Soc Work.2019;3:1-16. doi: 10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013Jones, L. K.Emotionally focused therapy with couples — the social work connection.Social Work Today.2019;9(3):18.Johnson, S.EFT with challenging couples.

Benson LA, Sevier M, Christensen A.The impact of behavioral couple therapy on attachment in distressed couples.J Marital Fam Ther. 2013;39(4):407-20. doi:10.1111/jmft.12020

ICEEFT.What is EFT?.

EFT Resource Center.What is EFT?.

Greenberg L.Emotionally focused therapy with couples.

Greenberg, LS.Emotion-focused therapy, revised edition. American Psychological Association. 2017. doi:10.1037/15971-001

Allan R, Edwards C, Lee N.Cultural adaptations of emotionally focused therapy. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy. 2022. doi:10.1080/15332691.2022.2052391

Najafi M, Ali Akbar Soleimani, Ahmadi K, Nasirudin Javidi, Elnaz Hoseini Kamkar.The effectiveness of emotionally focused therapy on enhancing marital adjustment and quality of life among infertile couples with marital conflicts.PubMed. 2015;9(2):238-246. doi:10.22074/ijfs.2015.4245

Gabatz RIB, Schwartz E, Milbrath VM, Carvalho HCW, Lange C, Soares MC.Formation and disruption of bonds between caregivers and institutionalized children.Rev Bras Enferm. 2018;71(suppl 6):2650-2658. doi:10.1590/0034-7167-2017-0844

Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229

Spengler, P. M., Lee, N. A., Wiebe, S. A., & Wittenborn, A. K.A comprehensive meta-analysis on the efficacy of emotionally focused couple therapy.2022.Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice.Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/cfp0000233

Wiebe SA, Johnson SM.A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples.Fam Process. 2016 Sep;55(3):390-407. doi:10.1111/famp.12229

Beasley CC, Ager R.Emotionally focused couples therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years.J Evid Based Soc Work.2019;3:1-16. doi: 10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013

Jones, L. K.Emotionally focused therapy with couples — the social work connection.Social Work Today.2019;9(3):18.

Johnson, S.EFT with challenging couples.

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