How Does Birth Order Shape Your Personality?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Adler’s Birth Order Theory?First-Born ChildMiddle ChildLast ChildOnly ChildImpact on RelationshipsDebunking Myths and Limitations

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is Adler’s Birth Order Theory?

First-Born Child

Middle Child

Last Child

Only Child

Impact on Relationships

Debunking Myths and Limitations

Close

Birth order refers to the order a child is born in relation to their siblings, such as whether they are first-born, middle-born, or last-born. You’ve probably heard people joke about how the eldest child is the bossy one, the middle child is the peace-maker, and the youngest child is the irresponsible rebel—but is there any truth to these stereotypes?

Psychologists often look at how birth order can affect development, behavior patterns, and personality characteristics, and there is some evidence that birth order might play a role in certain aspects ofpersonality.

At a Glance

Key points of Adler’s birth order theory were that firstborns were more likely to develop a strong sense of responsibility, middleborns a desire for attention, and lastborns a sense of adventure and rebellion.

Adler also notably introduced the concept of the “family constellation.” This idea emphasizes the dynamics that form between family members and how these interactions play a part in shaping individual development.

Adler’s birth order theory suggests that firstborns get more attention and time from their parents. New parents are still learning about child-rearing, which means that they may be more rule-oriented, strict, cautious, and sometimes evenneurotic.

They are often described as responsible leaders withType A personalities, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as “oldest-child syndrome.”

“Older siblings, regardless of gender, often feel more deprived or envious since they have experienced having another child divert attention away from them at some point in their lives. They tend to be more success-oriented,” explainsSan Francisco therapistDr. Avigail Lev.

Firstborn children are often described as:

All this extra attention firstborns enjoy changes abruptly when younger siblings come along. When you become an older sibling, you suddenly have to share your parent’s attention. You may feel that your parents have higher expectations for you and look to you to set an example for your younger siblings.

Consider the experiences of the oldest siblings, who are frequently tasked with caring for younger siblings. Because they are often expected to help fill the role of caregivers, they may be more nurturing, responsible, and motivated to excel.

Research has found that firstborn kids tend to have more advancedcognitive development, which may also confer advantages when it comes to school readiness skills.However, it’s important to remember that being the oldest child can also come with challenges, including carrying the weight of expectations and the burden of taking a caregiver role within the family.

In families with three children, the youngest male sibling is likely to be more passive or easy-going.—DR. AVIGAIL LEV

In families with three children, the youngest male sibling is likely to be more passive or easy-going.

—DR. AVIGAIL LEV

Middleborns are often described as:

While they tend to be adaptable and independent, they can also have a rebellious streak that tends to emerge when they want to stand apart from their siblings.

“Middle child syndrome” is a term often used to describe the negative effects of being a middle child. Because middle kids are sometimes overlooked, they may engage inpeople-pleasingbehaviors as adults as a way to garner attention and favor in their lives.

While research is limited, some studies have shown that middle kids are less likely to feel close to their mothersand are more likely to have problems with delinquency.

Some research suggests that middle children may be moresensitive to rejection. As a middle child, you may feel like you didn’t get as much attention and were constantly in competition with your siblings. You may struggle with feelings of insecurity, fear of rejection, andpoor self-confidence.

Lastborns, often referred to as the “babies” of the family, are often seen as spoiled and pampered compared to their older siblings. Because parents are more experienced at this point (and much busier), they often take a morelaissez-faire approach to parenting.

Last-born children are sometimes described as:

Because parents are sometimes less strict and disciplined with last-borns, these kids may have fewer self-regulation skills.

“If the youngest of many children is female, she tends to be more coddled or cared for, leading to a greater reliance on others compared to her older siblings, especially in larger families,” Lev suggests.

Only children are often described as:

Because they interact with adults so much, only children often seem very mature for their age. If you’re an only child, you may feel more comfortable being alone and enjoy spending time in solitude pursuing you own creative ideas. You may like having control and, because of your parents' high expectations, have strongperfectionist tendencies.

How Birth Order Influences Relationships

Birth order may affect relationships in a wide variety of ways. For example, it may impact how you form connections with other people. It can also affect how you behave within these relationships.

Dr. Lev suggests that the effects of birth order can differ depending on gender.

“For instance, in a family with two female siblings, the younger one often appears more confident and empowered, while the older one is more achievement-focused and insecure,” she explains.

She also suggests that there is often a notable rivalry between same-sex siblings versus that of mixed-gender siblings. Again, this effect can vary depending on gender. Where an older sister might be less secure and the younger sister more secure, the opposite is often true when it comes to older and younger brothers.

“This could be because older sisters often assume a motherly role, while older brothers might take on more of a bully role. As a result, younger brothers are generally more insecure, whereas younger sisters tend to be more confident than their older siblings,” she explains.

Some other potential effects include:

Communication

Birth order can affect how you communicate with others, which can have a powerful impact on relationship dynamics.

Relationship Roles

Birth order may also influence the roles that you take on in a relationship.

Expectations

“Generally, older siblings are more likely to be in the scapegoat role, while the youngest siblings often have a more idealized view of the family,” Lev explains.

Other Factors Play a Role

While birth order theory holds a popular position in culture, much of the available evidence suggests that it likely only has a minimal impact on developmental outcomes. In other words, birth order is only one of many factors that affect how we grow and learn.

While some research suggests that there are some small personality differences between the oldest and youngest siblings, researchers have concluded that there are no significant differences in personality or cognitive abilities based on birth order.

Birth order doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Genetics, socioeconomic status, family resources, health factors, parenting styles, and other environmental variables influence child development. Other family factors, such as age spacing between siblings, sibling gender, and the number of kids in a family, can also moderate the effects of birth order.

Takeaway

Adler’s birth order theory suggests that the order in which you are born into your family can have a lasting impact on your behavior, emotions, and relationships with other people. While there is some support indicating that birth order can affect people in small ways, keep in mind that it is just one part of the developmental puzzle.

In other words, there may be some truth to the idea that firstborns get more attention (and responsibility), that middleborns get less attention (and more independence), and that lastborns get more freedom (and less discipline). But the specific dynamics in your family might hinge more on things like resources and parenting styles than on whether you arrived first, middle, or last.

Navigating the Challenges of Eldest Daughter Syndrome

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Damian RI, Roberts BW.Settling the debate on birth order and personality.Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 2015;112(46):14119-14120. doi:10.1073/pnas.1519064112Luo R, Song L, Chiu I.A closer look at the birth order effect on early cognitive and school readiness development in diverse contexts.Frontiers in Psychology. 2022;13. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2022.871837Salmon CA, Daly M.Birth order and familial sentiment.Evolution and Human Behavior. 1998;19(5):299-312. doi:10.1016/S1090-5138(98)00022-1Cundiff PR.Ordered delinquency: the “effects” of birth order on delinquency.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2013;39(8):1017-1029. doi:10.1177/0146167213488215Çabuker ND, Batık HESBÇMV.Does psychological birth order predict identity perceptions of individuals in emerging adulthood?International Online Journal of Educational Sciences. 2020;12(5):164–176.Damian RI, Roberts BW.The associations of birth order with personality and intelligence in a representative sample of U.S. high school students.Journal of Research in Personality. 2015;58:96-105. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2015.05.005

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Damian RI, Roberts BW.Settling the debate on birth order and personality.Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 2015;112(46):14119-14120. doi:10.1073/pnas.1519064112Luo R, Song L, Chiu I.A closer look at the birth order effect on early cognitive and school readiness development in diverse contexts.Frontiers in Psychology. 2022;13. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2022.871837Salmon CA, Daly M.Birth order and familial sentiment.Evolution and Human Behavior. 1998;19(5):299-312. doi:10.1016/S1090-5138(98)00022-1Cundiff PR.Ordered delinquency: the “effects” of birth order on delinquency.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2013;39(8):1017-1029. doi:10.1177/0146167213488215Çabuker ND, Batık HESBÇMV.Does psychological birth order predict identity perceptions of individuals in emerging adulthood?International Online Journal of Educational Sciences. 2020;12(5):164–176.Damian RI, Roberts BW.The associations of birth order with personality and intelligence in a representative sample of U.S. high school students.Journal of Research in Personality. 2015;58:96-105. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2015.05.005

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Damian RI, Roberts BW.Settling the debate on birth order and personality.Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 2015;112(46):14119-14120. doi:10.1073/pnas.1519064112Luo R, Song L, Chiu I.A closer look at the birth order effect on early cognitive and school readiness development in diverse contexts.Frontiers in Psychology. 2022;13. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2022.871837Salmon CA, Daly M.Birth order and familial sentiment.Evolution and Human Behavior. 1998;19(5):299-312. doi:10.1016/S1090-5138(98)00022-1Cundiff PR.Ordered delinquency: the “effects” of birth order on delinquency.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2013;39(8):1017-1029. doi:10.1177/0146167213488215Çabuker ND, Batık HESBÇMV.Does psychological birth order predict identity perceptions of individuals in emerging adulthood?International Online Journal of Educational Sciences. 2020;12(5):164–176.Damian RI, Roberts BW.The associations of birth order with personality and intelligence in a representative sample of U.S. high school students.Journal of Research in Personality. 2015;58:96-105. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2015.05.005

Damian RI, Roberts BW.Settling the debate on birth order and personality.Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 2015;112(46):14119-14120. doi:10.1073/pnas.1519064112

Luo R, Song L, Chiu I.A closer look at the birth order effect on early cognitive and school readiness development in diverse contexts.Frontiers in Psychology. 2022;13. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2022.871837

Salmon CA, Daly M.Birth order and familial sentiment.Evolution and Human Behavior. 1998;19(5):299-312. doi:10.1016/S1090-5138(98)00022-1

Cundiff PR.Ordered delinquency: the “effects” of birth order on delinquency.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2013;39(8):1017-1029. doi:10.1177/0146167213488215

Çabuker ND, Batık HESBÇMV.Does psychological birth order predict identity perceptions of individuals in emerging adulthood?International Online Journal of Educational Sciences. 2020;12(5):164–176.

Damian RI, Roberts BW.The associations of birth order with personality and intelligence in a representative sample of U.S. high school students.Journal of Research in Personality. 2015;58:96-105. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2015.05.005

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