How Depression Can Impact Family Members

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSubtle SymptomsCaregiver Responses to Family DepressionImpacts of Depression on Family LifeHow Family Member Depression Affects RelationshipsHow Depression Affects ChildrenWhat to Do If a Family Member Has DepressionHow to Help Family Members

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Subtle Symptoms

Caregiver Responses to Family Depression

Impacts of Depression on Family Life

How Family Member Depression Affects Relationships

How Depression Affects Children

What to Do If a Family Member Has Depression

How to Help Family Members

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Depression is one of the most common mental health disorders in America, affecting 21 million adults and five million teens annually.But people with this condition aren’t the only ones impacted. Family members are affected as well.

When we have a family member who is dealing with depression, it’s helpful to understand how this affects the entire family unit and the relationships within it. It’s also beneficial to knowhow to help loved ones with depressionwhile still looking after ourselves.

At a GlanceDepression is sometimes hard to recognize and can leave family members wondering what’s going on and how to “fix” it. This can impact family relationships, leading to friction and misunderstandings. Help is available, both from professionals and via other types of support. Taking care of yourself is also important when dealing with a loved one with depression.

At a Glance

Depression is sometimes hard to recognize and can leave family members wondering what’s going on and how to “fix” it. This can impact family relationships, leading to friction and misunderstandings. Help is available, both from professionals and via other types of support. Taking care of yourself is also important when dealing with a loved one with depression.

Recognizing Depression in Family Members

Sometimes depression is present in our families without us recognizing exactly what it is.Symptoms of depressioncan show up in subtle ways (which is why it’s often referred to as an invisible illness). These symptoms leave the door open for misunderstandings.

Signs that a family member may be experiencing depression can include:

For loved ones, such behaviors may seem bewildering or even aggravating. Friends might wonder why they’re suddenly being avoided. A spouse might get angry that their partner isn’t doing their share around the house. Children might be frustrated that a parent doesn’t have the energy to play with them.

Unless a person with depression shareshow they feel, others may be left to infer meaning from their behavior. This meaning can be misinterpreted as people aren’t always aware of the many behaviors associated with depression.

Recognizing when a loved one may be dealing with depression is the first step to getting them treatment. It’s also important to understand that their symptoms may make it more difficult for them to pursue the help they need. For example,guilt and shameare common symptoms of depression.If a family member feels that they are somehow disappointing the people they love, it can make these feelings worse.

Family members often take on a caretaker role when someone they love has depression. Some feel that they should be able to “fix” the situation and help the depression symptoms go away. When they can’t, this can lead tocaregiver stress.

Some family members experience feelings of fear, anxiety, and powerlessness. Anger and irritation can also occur, which can then lead to feelings of guilt and shame for getting upset with a relative with depression.

Recognizing these responses is important because how family members react can have an impact ondepression treatmentoutcomes. When families are knowledgeable about this condition and actively involved in the treatment plan, for example, patients have improved outcomes, fewer depression symptoms, and better recovery.

A person with depression may not have the energy or motivation to manage many aspects of daily living. Sometimes just getting out of bed is a challenge, so tasks such as doing laundry, cooking, and driving to appointments can feel overwhelming. This can have an impact on other members of the household.

Some of the effects of depression on family life might include:

In some cases, members of the family may not fully understand what the person with depression is going through. While they may see the effects of the depression symptoms, it may be difficult for them to understand what is causing those symptoms to occur. Some may evenbecome resentfulbecause they feel like they are doing too much while others feel guilty that they aren’t doing enough to help.

Symptoms of depression can sometimes be hard to interpret, leaving an opening for misunderstandings within familial relationships.Social withdrawalmay be misconstrued as a lack of interest, for example. Irritability might be misinterpreted as being angry with the person it is directed toward.

Other symptoms that may not be recognized as depression and, therefore, potentially cause conflict or friction within families include:

To make matters more complex, people with depression might say that they don’t feel depressed. But this doesn’t mean that their symptoms aren’t leaving a mark on their relationships.

Symptoms of irritability, fatigue, and social withdrawal are just as easy to misinterpret. Because people don’t always understand what is causing the behaviors they’re seeing, they may pull away from the person. This not only damages family relationships but can also lead to further isolation for the individual with depression.

How to Identify Your Emotions When You’re Depressed

How Family Depression Affects Children

There is evidence that growing up with a parent or caregiver with depression can impact a child’s mental health and well-being.This condition can also influence many different aspects of parenting, including how caregivers interact with their kids.

Parents with depression may be more critical of their children or less likely to respond to their children’s needs.

Potential effects of parental depression on children include:

How to Tell If Your Child Shows Symptoms of Depression

Taking certain steps can help ease some of the effects of depression on the family.

Talk to a Healthcare Provider

The first step in starting the treatment process is to talk with a healthcare professional. This care provider can assess the family member’s symptoms, diagnose the condition, recommend treatment options, or refer them to a mental health professional for further evaluation and treatment.

Effective depression treatmentsare available. They often involve taking medication, engaging in psychotherapy, or a combination of the two.

The Best Online Therapy Services for Depression We Tried and Tested

Focus on Family Well-Being

Even if only one person in the family has depression, it’s important to think about the entire family‘s well-being as a whole. Watch for signs that other members might need help so intervention can take place early if needed. It may also be helpful to considerfamily therapy.

Depression can distort a person’s perceptions of how their condition is affecting the family unit. To them, it might not seem like their symptoms are impacting others, but family members who are involved may feel differently.

Find Support

Depression can be an isolating illness that leads people to withdraw from friends, family, and loved ones. Yet, having adequatesocial supportis an important part of recovery.Whether it’s a good friend or counselor, this type of support can make it easier to cope with depression symptoms and ease family strain.

For people with depression, it’s important to remember that family can be a source of care, comfort, and support. Parents, siblings, and other close family members can serve as caregivers, are instrumental in spotting signs of serious issues, and contribute to an environment that aids in recovery.

Best Depression Support Groups

How Family Members Can Help With Depression

If someone in our family has depression, there are also things that we can do to help that person with their depression and minimize the negative impacts on the family as a whole.

Learn More About Depression

Sometimes well-meaning family members suggest that the person should just “snap out of it” without understandingthe complex forces that cause depression. Gaining an understanding of the symptoms, causes, and treatments for depression can provide a better idea of what the loved one is going through.

Learning more about the illness also helps family members respond in ways that are more helpful and empathetic. Family attitudes toward treatment even play a role in recovery outcomes.For example, people with family members who have a positive attitude towardantidepressant medicationsmay be more likely to stick to their prescription regimen.

The high degree ofstigma attached to mental illnessalso means that some parents may not get the help they need. The judgments society makes about mental illness can cause parents to not admit that they are struggling. The pressure to be perfect may also cause them to not acknowledge when they are depressed.

Take Care of Yourself

Sometimes when people take on a caretaker role, they begin to neglect their own well-being. It’s important to remember, however, that in order to care for a family member, we need to first take care of ourselves.

Practicing self-careinvolves:

Enlist Help

Caregivers also benefit from creating a network of people who can offer social and emotional support. This might involvejoining a support group, talking to a counselor, or having friends who can offer support and understanding.

Surrounding ourselves with people we can go to when we’re working hard to help family members with depression helps us feel less alone. It also takes some of the responsibilities off our to-do lists, enlisting others to help lighten our loads.

13 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Major depression.Gambin M, Sharp C.The relations between empathy, guilt, shame and depression in inpatient adolescents.J Affect Disord. 2018;241:381-387. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.08.068Skundberg-Kletthagen H, Hall-Lord ML, Hedelin B, Wangensteen S.Relatives of inpatients suffering from severe depression: their burden and encounters with the psychiatric health services.Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2016;37(5):293-298. doi:10.3109/01612840.2016.1145309American Psychiatric Association.Family involvement in treatment can improve outcomes.Gotlib IH, Colich NL.Children of parents with depression. InHandbook of depression. 2014:240-258.Gabrieli G, Bornstein MH, Manian N, Esposito G.Assessing mothers' postpartum depression from their infants' cry vocalizations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2020;10(2):55. doi: 10.3390/bs10020055Yale Medicine.Parental depression: how it affects a child.Sagiv SK, Epstein JN, Bellinger DC, Korrick SA.Pre- and postnatal risk factors for ADHD in a nonclinical pediatric population.J Atten Disord. 2013;17(1):47-57. doi:10.1177/1087054711427563Rishel CW.Pathways to prevention for children of depressed mothers: a review of the literature and recommendations for practice.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012:1-11. doi:10.1155/2012/313689Vis SA, Lauritzen C, Havnen KJS, Reedtz C, Handegard BH.Concerns of parental substance abuse and mental health problems reported to child welfare services—testing a moderated mediation model for paths from reports to substantiated concern and service provision.Front Psychiatry. 2022;13:781332. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2022.781332Harvard Health Publishing.Medication or therapy for depression? Or both?Martínez-Hernáez A, Carceller-Maicas N, DiGiacomo SM, Ariste S.Social support and gender differences in coping with depression among emerging adults: a mixed-methods study.Child Adolesc Psychiatry Mental Health. 2016;10:2. doi:10.1186/s13034-015-0088-xHo SC, Jacob SA, Tangiisuran B.Barriers and facilitators of adherence to antidepressants among outpatients with major depressive disorder: A qualitative study.PLoS One. 2017;12(6):e0179290. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0179290

13 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Major depression.Gambin M, Sharp C.The relations between empathy, guilt, shame and depression in inpatient adolescents.J Affect Disord. 2018;241:381-387. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.08.068Skundberg-Kletthagen H, Hall-Lord ML, Hedelin B, Wangensteen S.Relatives of inpatients suffering from severe depression: their burden and encounters with the psychiatric health services.Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2016;37(5):293-298. doi:10.3109/01612840.2016.1145309American Psychiatric Association.Family involvement in treatment can improve outcomes.Gotlib IH, Colich NL.Children of parents with depression. InHandbook of depression. 2014:240-258.Gabrieli G, Bornstein MH, Manian N, Esposito G.Assessing mothers' postpartum depression from their infants' cry vocalizations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2020;10(2):55. doi: 10.3390/bs10020055Yale Medicine.Parental depression: how it affects a child.Sagiv SK, Epstein JN, Bellinger DC, Korrick SA.Pre- and postnatal risk factors for ADHD in a nonclinical pediatric population.J Atten Disord. 2013;17(1):47-57. doi:10.1177/1087054711427563Rishel CW.Pathways to prevention for children of depressed mothers: a review of the literature and recommendations for practice.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012:1-11. doi:10.1155/2012/313689Vis SA, Lauritzen C, Havnen KJS, Reedtz C, Handegard BH.Concerns of parental substance abuse and mental health problems reported to child welfare services—testing a moderated mediation model for paths from reports to substantiated concern and service provision.Front Psychiatry. 2022;13:781332. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2022.781332Harvard Health Publishing.Medication or therapy for depression? Or both?Martínez-Hernáez A, Carceller-Maicas N, DiGiacomo SM, Ariste S.Social support and gender differences in coping with depression among emerging adults: a mixed-methods study.Child Adolesc Psychiatry Mental Health. 2016;10:2. doi:10.1186/s13034-015-0088-xHo SC, Jacob SA, Tangiisuran B.Barriers and facilitators of adherence to antidepressants among outpatients with major depressive disorder: A qualitative study.PLoS One. 2017;12(6):e0179290. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0179290

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute of Mental Health.Major depression.Gambin M, Sharp C.The relations between empathy, guilt, shame and depression in inpatient adolescents.J Affect Disord. 2018;241:381-387. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.08.068Skundberg-Kletthagen H, Hall-Lord ML, Hedelin B, Wangensteen S.Relatives of inpatients suffering from severe depression: their burden and encounters with the psychiatric health services.Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2016;37(5):293-298. doi:10.3109/01612840.2016.1145309American Psychiatric Association.Family involvement in treatment can improve outcomes.Gotlib IH, Colich NL.Children of parents with depression. InHandbook of depression. 2014:240-258.Gabrieli G, Bornstein MH, Manian N, Esposito G.Assessing mothers' postpartum depression from their infants' cry vocalizations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2020;10(2):55. doi: 10.3390/bs10020055Yale Medicine.Parental depression: how it affects a child.Sagiv SK, Epstein JN, Bellinger DC, Korrick SA.Pre- and postnatal risk factors for ADHD in a nonclinical pediatric population.J Atten Disord. 2013;17(1):47-57. doi:10.1177/1087054711427563Rishel CW.Pathways to prevention for children of depressed mothers: a review of the literature and recommendations for practice.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012:1-11. doi:10.1155/2012/313689Vis SA, Lauritzen C, Havnen KJS, Reedtz C, Handegard BH.Concerns of parental substance abuse and mental health problems reported to child welfare services—testing a moderated mediation model for paths from reports to substantiated concern and service provision.Front Psychiatry. 2022;13:781332. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2022.781332Harvard Health Publishing.Medication or therapy for depression? Or both?Martínez-Hernáez A, Carceller-Maicas N, DiGiacomo SM, Ariste S.Social support and gender differences in coping with depression among emerging adults: a mixed-methods study.Child Adolesc Psychiatry Mental Health. 2016;10:2. doi:10.1186/s13034-015-0088-xHo SC, Jacob SA, Tangiisuran B.Barriers and facilitators of adherence to antidepressants among outpatients with major depressive disorder: A qualitative study.PLoS One. 2017;12(6):e0179290. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0179290

National Institute of Mental Health.Major depression.

Gambin M, Sharp C.The relations between empathy, guilt, shame and depression in inpatient adolescents.J Affect Disord. 2018;241:381-387. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2018.08.068

Skundberg-Kletthagen H, Hall-Lord ML, Hedelin B, Wangensteen S.Relatives of inpatients suffering from severe depression: their burden and encounters with the psychiatric health services.Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2016;37(5):293-298. doi:10.3109/01612840.2016.1145309

American Psychiatric Association.Family involvement in treatment can improve outcomes.

Gotlib IH, Colich NL.Children of parents with depression. InHandbook of depression. 2014:240-258.

Gabrieli G, Bornstein MH, Manian N, Esposito G.Assessing mothers' postpartum depression from their infants' cry vocalizations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2020;10(2):55. doi: 10.3390/bs10020055

Yale Medicine.Parental depression: how it affects a child.

Sagiv SK, Epstein JN, Bellinger DC, Korrick SA.Pre- and postnatal risk factors for ADHD in a nonclinical pediatric population.J Atten Disord. 2013;17(1):47-57. doi:10.1177/1087054711427563

Rishel CW.Pathways to prevention for children of depressed mothers: a review of the literature and recommendations for practice.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012:1-11. doi:10.1155/2012/313689

Vis SA, Lauritzen C, Havnen KJS, Reedtz C, Handegard BH.Concerns of parental substance abuse and mental health problems reported to child welfare services—testing a moderated mediation model for paths from reports to substantiated concern and service provision.Front Psychiatry. 2022;13:781332. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2022.781332

Harvard Health Publishing.Medication or therapy for depression? Or both?

Martínez-Hernáez A, Carceller-Maicas N, DiGiacomo SM, Ariste S.Social support and gender differences in coping with depression among emerging adults: a mixed-methods study.Child Adolesc Psychiatry Mental Health. 2016;10:2. doi:10.1186/s13034-015-0088-x

Ho SC, Jacob SA, Tangiisuran B.Barriers and facilitators of adherence to antidepressants among outpatients with major depressive disorder: A qualitative study.PLoS One. 2017;12(6):e0179290. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0179290

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