How Anxiety Affects Relationships

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSigns of Anxiety in RelationshipsImpactTreatmentCopingFrequently Asked Questions

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Table of Contents

Signs of Anxiety in Relationships

Impact

Treatment

Coping

Frequently Asked Questions

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Anxiety can negatively impact many aspects of your life, including your relationships. Not only can anxiety affect how you function in your daily life, but it can also interfere with your ability to communicate and connect with other people.

Having ananxiety disordercan impact relationships in different ways. Understanding the different ways feelings of anxiety might interfere with your relationships can help you find ways to cope.

This article explores a few specific ways in which your anxiety can lead to problems maintaining connections with others, as well as strategies you can implement (on your own or under the guidance of amental health professional) to help you navigate these unhealthy attachment patterns.

There are a number of behaviors that people might engage in when they are experiencing anxiety in relationships. Some of these signs include:

People won’t necessarily experience or exhibit all of these symptoms to the same degree. The way that each person experiences anxiety in a relationship depends on the nature and severity of their anxiety condition.

People who have anxiety disorders are more likely to be single and have higher rates of divorce.

How Anxiety Affects Relationships

Dependence

Some people with anxiety have an intense desire for closeness to their partners (or friends), depending on them constantly for support and reassurance.

Along with being overly dependent, people with anxiety may find themselves prone to:

People with anxiety and overly dependentrelationshipsmay also struggle with anger toward those they feel dependent on, acting out in ways that are destructive to their relationships.

Controlling Behaviors

People who have anxiety need to control every detail of their environment in order to manage stress and find peace. Below are a few signs that you are engaged in controlling behaviors in your relationships and daily routines to minimize your anxiety:

Avoidance

A person who avoids close relationships may be perceived as cold, emotionally unavailable,lacking empathy, or even standoffish, even though they may long for closeness.

One study found that people withsocial anxiety disorderwere less likely to receive support from their romantic partners and that less support and more severe anxiety symptoms increased the likelihood of breaking up.

Treatment for Anxiety in Relationships

If anxiety is hurting your relationships, it is important to talk to a healthcare practitioner or mental health professional. There are treatments that can help youmanage your anxiety, improve your communication, and develop healthierinterpersonal relationships.

Medications

Medication is often an essential part of anxiety treatment. While the medications prescribed for anxiety, likeselective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, are not curative, they can help decrease your symptoms and help you feel better as you rework your anxious thoughts and behaviors with your therapist.

Medications are often most effective when they are used in conjunction with psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy

Various types of therapy can helptreat anxiety disorders, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT),dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), andexposure therapy.Such therapies can also improve communication in relationships.

A therapist who specializes in one type oftalk therapycalledcognitive-behavioral therapycan help you devise strategies to reassure yourself and take thoughtful action on your own instead of needing your partner for comfort each time you are anxious.

If you find yourself being overly distant in your relationships, cognitive behavioral therapy, along with other types of therapy, such aspsychodynamic psychotherapy, may be helpful. A mental health professional can help one explore past and present relationships and the emotions surrounding those interpersonal connections.

A therapist will also help you understand how anxiety impacts your relationships. For instance, exploring your emotions more deeply may be a good strategy for someone who tends to be avoidant.

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Coping With Anxiety in Relationships

In addition to professional help, there are also tactics and strategies that people can use to help manage feelings of anxiety when they are in a relationship.

If you find yourself developing overly dependent attachments, developing ways to cope with youranxietyand relying more on yourself to feel better can take the pressure off your partner or friend.

Other techniques that might be helpful include:

Final Thoughts

Sometimes, anxiety is overwhelming and debilitating, which can be extremely detrimental to relationships. Feelings of anxiety can also grow worse over time if left untreated, so reaching out for help is essential.

Talk to a doctor or mental health professional if your symptoms of anxiety are causing distress or affecting important aspects of your life, including your daily activities and relationships. With proper treatment, you can develop healthy, long-lasting, and fulfilling connections with others.

The first step is to identify what is behind your personal anxiety and look for ways to soothe yourself. It can also be helpful to talk about your anxiety with your partner or other loved ones. Develop routines that help minimize your stress and anxiety while practicing self-care and relaxation strategies to ease feelings of anxiety.

Anxiety can lead to excessive worry, anger, or irritability. Constantly seeking reassurance can be stressful for both people in the relationship and contribute to arguments. On the other hand, anxiety can also contribute to being overly controlling or becoming avoidant and detached, which makes it hard to form a meaningful connection.

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Priest JB.Anxiety disorders and the quality of relationships with friends, relatives, and romantic partners.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(1):78-88. doi:10.1002/jclp.21925American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787Porter E, Chambless DL.Social anxiety and social support in romantic relationships.Behav Ther. 2017;48(3):335-348. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.12.002Bandelow B, Michaelis S, Wedekind D.Treatment of anxiety disorders.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2017;19(2):93-107. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2017.19.2/bbandelowNewman MG, Castonguay LG, Jacobson NC, Moore GA.Adult attachment as a moderator of treatment outcome for generalized anxiety disorder: Comparison between cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) plus supportive listening and CBT plus interpersonal emotional processing therapy.J Consult Clin Psychol. 2015;83(5):915-925. doi:10.1037/a0039359Newman MG, Castonguay LG, Borkovec TD, et al.A randomized controlled trial of cognitive-behavioral therapy for generalized anxiety disorder with integrated techniques from emotion-focused and interpersonal therapies.J Consult Clin Psychol.2011;79(2):171-181. doi:10.1037/a0022489

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Priest JB.Anxiety disorders and the quality of relationships with friends, relatives, and romantic partners.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(1):78-88. doi:10.1002/jclp.21925American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787Porter E, Chambless DL.Social anxiety and social support in romantic relationships.Behav Ther. 2017;48(3):335-348. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.12.002Bandelow B, Michaelis S, Wedekind D.Treatment of anxiety disorders.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2017;19(2):93-107. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2017.19.2/bbandelowNewman MG, Castonguay LG, Jacobson NC, Moore GA.Adult attachment as a moderator of treatment outcome for generalized anxiety disorder: Comparison between cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) plus supportive listening and CBT plus interpersonal emotional processing therapy.J Consult Clin Psychol. 2015;83(5):915-925. doi:10.1037/a0039359Newman MG, Castonguay LG, Borkovec TD, et al.A randomized controlled trial of cognitive-behavioral therapy for generalized anxiety disorder with integrated techniques from emotion-focused and interpersonal therapies.J Consult Clin Psychol.2011;79(2):171-181. doi:10.1037/a0022489

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Priest JB.Anxiety disorders and the quality of relationships with friends, relatives, and romantic partners.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(1):78-88. doi:10.1002/jclp.21925American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787Porter E, Chambless DL.Social anxiety and social support in romantic relationships.Behav Ther. 2017;48(3):335-348. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.12.002Bandelow B, Michaelis S, Wedekind D.Treatment of anxiety disorders.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2017;19(2):93-107. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2017.19.2/bbandelowNewman MG, Castonguay LG, Jacobson NC, Moore GA.Adult attachment as a moderator of treatment outcome for generalized anxiety disorder: Comparison between cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) plus supportive listening and CBT plus interpersonal emotional processing therapy.J Consult Clin Psychol. 2015;83(5):915-925. doi:10.1037/a0039359Newman MG, Castonguay LG, Borkovec TD, et al.A randomized controlled trial of cognitive-behavioral therapy for generalized anxiety disorder with integrated techniques from emotion-focused and interpersonal therapies.J Consult Clin Psychol.2011;79(2):171-181. doi:10.1037/a0022489

Priest JB.Anxiety disorders and the quality of relationships with friends, relatives, and romantic partners.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(1):78-88. doi:10.1002/jclp.21925

American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

Porter E, Chambless DL.Social anxiety and social support in romantic relationships.Behav Ther. 2017;48(3):335-348. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.12.002

Bandelow B, Michaelis S, Wedekind D.Treatment of anxiety disorders.Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2017;19(2):93-107. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2017.19.2/bbandelow

Newman MG, Castonguay LG, Jacobson NC, Moore GA.Adult attachment as a moderator of treatment outcome for generalized anxiety disorder: Comparison between cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) plus supportive listening and CBT plus interpersonal emotional processing therapy.J Consult Clin Psychol. 2015;83(5):915-925. doi:10.1037/a0039359

Newman MG, Castonguay LG, Borkovec TD, et al.A randomized controlled trial of cognitive-behavioral therapy for generalized anxiety disorder with integrated techniques from emotion-focused and interpersonal therapies.J Consult Clin Psychol.2011;79(2):171-181. doi:10.1037/a0022489

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