Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Adoption-Related Language MattersPositive Adoption LanguageHonest Adoption LanguageInclusive Adoption LanguagePositive vs. HonestTerms Explained
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Why Adoption-Related Language Matters
Positive Adoption Language
Honest Adoption Language
Inclusive Adoption Language
Positive vs. Honest
Terms Explained
Close
Over time, two types of language were used to describe adoption-related topics:positive adoption languageandhonest adoption language.
You can read ahead to learn why language matters in adoption-related discourse and the differences between honest adoption language and positive adoption language.
While you might not think of adoptees as an underrepresented or marginalized group, the truth is that adoptees experience loss nearly upon birth or during childhood. As a result, adoptees have a higher likelihood of dealing withtrauma-related symptoms.
Adoption and Microaggressions
Adoption is often viewed through a binary lens—either the adoptive parents are labeled as “rescuers,” or the adoption process is deemed an inferior way to have a child (when compared to conceiving a child with a partner). As a result, adoptees may receive some damaging messages.
Some of the types of microaggressions adoptees face:
Lesli Johnson, LMFTWords like ‘chosen,’ ‘lucky,’ ‘special,’ ‘meant to be,’ etc., often leave adoptees who have an array of feelings, including grief, loss, and anger, feeling marginalized and unseen.
Lesli Johnson, LMFT
Words like ‘chosen,’ ‘lucky,’ ‘special,’ ‘meant to be,’ etc., often leave adoptees who have an array of feelings, including grief, loss, and anger, feeling marginalized and unseen.
These microagressions, also known as “positive adoption language” can be very difficult for adoptees to navigate and embrace, saysLesli Johnson, LMFT, a therapist specializing in adoption.
Now that you know some of the ways that language can affect adoptees, read on to learn about two very different schools of thought around adoption language.
What Is Positive Adoption Language?
Years ago, the language surrounding the adoptive process was very stigmatizing. In response, social worker Marietta Spencer introduced Positive Adoption Language in 1979 in her article titled, “The Terminology of Adoption.”
Positive Adoption LanguagePositive adoption language aims to correct previously-used negative adoption language.
Positive adoption language aims to correct previously-used negative adoption language.
What Is Honest Adoption Language?
Some people believed that positive adoption language wastoopositive to the point where adoptees felt that it glazed over some of the more painful and emotional aspects of adoption (like grief and loss).
To paint a more accurate picture of adoption of the adoption process, honest adoption language was created.
Honest Adoption LanguageHonest adoption language aims to recognize that being adopted is an identity that affects adoptees for a lifetime.
Honest adoption language aims to recognize that being adopted is an identity that affects adoptees for a lifetime.
Critics of honest adoption language believe that calling birth mothers “natural mothers” implies that adoptiveparentsare “unnatural.” Moreover, critics argue that honest adoption language erases the early work of those who fought to bring positive adoption language to the forefront.
There are people who take issue with both positive and honest adoption language. So, some people advocate for more neutral language known as inclusive adoption language.
Inclusive Adoption LanguageThis type of language allows individuals to determine which language choices resonate with them the most.
This type of language allows individuals to determine which language choices resonate with them the most.
Positive Adoption Language vs. Honest Adoption Language
Below is a chart that compares positive and honest adoption language.
Positive Adoption LangaugeBirthparentsParentsPlaced for adoptionBirth childChild*Was adoptedAdoption Triad/TriangleMeetingHonest Adoption LanguageNatural parentsAdoptive parentsTaken for adoptionNatural childAdopted childIs adoptedAdoption TransactionReuniting
Positive Adoption LangaugeBirthparentsParentsPlaced for adoptionBirth childChild*Was adoptedAdoption Triad/TriangleMeeting
Birthparents
Parents
Placed for adoption
Birth child
Child*
Was adopted
Adoption Triad/Triangle
Meeting
Honest Adoption LanguageNatural parentsAdoptive parentsTaken for adoptionNatural childAdopted childIs adoptedAdoption TransactionReuniting
Natural parents
Adoptive parents
Taken for adoption
Natural child
Adopted child
Is adopted
Adoption Transaction
Reuniting
*When referring to the adoptive family
Positive and Honest Adoption Language Terms Explained
Now that you’re familiar with both types of adoption language and aware of some examples, here is an explanation of the terms listed above.
Birthparents vs. Natural Parents
Parents vs. Adoptive Parents/Adopters/People Who Have Adopted
Placed for Adoption/Relinquished vs. Surrendered, Lost to/Taken for Adoption
Birth Son/Daughter/Child vs. Son/Daughter/Child or Lost Son/Daughter/Child
Son/Daughter/Child vs. Adopted Son/Daughter/Child (in adopted families)
Was Adopted vs. Is Adopted
Adoption Triad vs. Adoption Transaction
Meeting/Making Contact vs. In Reunion
Language TypeTermExplanationPositiveMeeting/Making contactUses “meeting” or “making contact” to signify a finite event and assumption that it will not be an ongoing relationship.HonestIn reunion/reunitingThe phrase “in reunion” signifies a phase of life or a relationship status, not a one-time event.A Word From VerywellSome of these phrases and beliefs may be contradictory. If you are an adoptee, use the language you prefer. You can speak to amental health professionalif you’re having any difficulties related to adoption.Coping With Complicated Feelings as an Adoptive Parent
A Word From Verywell
Some of these phrases and beliefs may be contradictory. If you are an adoptee, use the language you prefer. You can speak to amental health professionalif you’re having any difficulties related to adoption.
Coping With Complicated Feelings as an Adoptive Parent
3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.White EE, Baden AL, Ferguson AL, Smith L.The intersection of race and adoption: Experiences of transracial and international adoptees with microaggressions. Journal of Family Psychology. 2022;36(8):1318-1328. DOI: 10.1037/fam0000922Spencer, M. E. (1979).The Terminology of Adoption.Child Welfare,58(7), 451–459.Warren A.The Orphan Train.The Washington Post.
3 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.White EE, Baden AL, Ferguson AL, Smith L.The intersection of race and adoption: Experiences of transracial and international adoptees with microaggressions. Journal of Family Psychology. 2022;36(8):1318-1328. DOI: 10.1037/fam0000922Spencer, M. E. (1979).The Terminology of Adoption.Child Welfare,58(7), 451–459.Warren A.The Orphan Train.The Washington Post.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
White EE, Baden AL, Ferguson AL, Smith L.The intersection of race and adoption: Experiences of transracial and international adoptees with microaggressions. Journal of Family Psychology. 2022;36(8):1318-1328. DOI: 10.1037/fam0000922Spencer, M. E. (1979).The Terminology of Adoption.Child Welfare,58(7), 451–459.Warren A.The Orphan Train.The Washington Post.
White EE, Baden AL, Ferguson AL, Smith L.The intersection of race and adoption: Experiences of transracial and international adoptees with microaggressions. Journal of Family Psychology. 2022;36(8):1318-1328. DOI: 10.1037/fam0000922
Spencer, M. E. (1979).The Terminology of Adoption.Child Welfare,58(7), 451–459.
Warren A.The Orphan Train.The Washington Post.
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