Helping Your Spouse Who Has Anxiety or Panic Attacks

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsEducate YourselfGet Additional SupportPut an End to EnablingDon’t Dismiss Their FeelingsHelp Them Seek TreatmentConsider Couples TherapyPractice Forgiveness

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Educate Yourself

Get Additional Support

Put an End to Enabling

Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings

Help Them Seek Treatment

Consider Couples Therapy

Practice Forgiveness

Close

It is normal for couples to go through turbulent times together. However, the common challenges that a couple faces can be even more difficult when one partner is struggling with an anxiety disorder.

If you are married to or in a relationship with someone who haspanic disorder, you may know all too well its impact on relationships. If you have been diagnosed with panic disorder, you may recognize that your symptoms also affect your partner or spouse.

At a GlanceWatching someone you love struggle with anxiety can be difficult. You might feel unsure how to help or even become anxious due to their symptoms. Fortunately, there are things you can do to support your partner and encourage them to get help for their condition. The following information describes four ways in which a couple can work together to manage issues related to one partner’s diagnosis of panic disorder andagoraphobia.

At a Glance

Watching someone you love struggle with anxiety can be difficult. You might feel unsure how to help or even become anxious due to their symptoms. Fortunately, there are things you can do to support your partner and encourage them to get help for their condition. The following information describes four ways in which a couple can work together to manage issues related to one partner’s diagnosis of panic disorder andagoraphobia.

Learn About Anxiety Symptoms

The first step to helping a spouse with anxiety is to learn more about what they are experiencing. Explore online resources to learn more about anxiety, what it feels like, and the effects it can have on your partner’s day-to-day functioning.

Anxiety can be all-consuming and stressful. Knowing more about the symptoms, causes, and treatments can help you feel more informed when you talk to your partner and more empowered to help them address their symptoms.

Ask your partner about what they are experiencing. Listen to what they say so that you can empathize more and learn to recognize the triggers and signs.

Understanding Anxiety Disorders

A partner may feel that they are being the most helpful if they drop everything and only attend to the needs of their partner with panic disorder. Remember that it is pivotal to take care of your own self-care needs.You can’t fully be there for your partner if you aren’t making sure that your own needs are met.

This means maintaining a social, work, recreational, and spiritual life while remaining supportive of your partner. If you are in a relationship with a person with anxiety or panic disorder, try not to think it is selfish to put emphasis on your own personal needs.

By taking care of yourself, you are better able to be there for your partner without having feelings of resentment or feeling too drained to be helpful.

You may not be aware of them, butenablingbehaviors are common in relationships where a partner has anxiety, panic disorder, or another mental health condition.If your partner has anxiety, you may feel like you are being helpful if you are working to prevent them from from feeling any distress.

However, enabling your partner prevents them from learning how to manage their symptoms better. It is your partner’s responsibility to work through that process and come to terms with their condition.

To stop enabling your partner, communicate with them about your needs and expectations.

If your partner refuses to seek or accept help, it’s important that you address these concerns with them. Keep in mind that you are really helping your partner when you support them in facing reality and encouraging them to learn how to cope with anxiety or panic disorder.

How Anxiety May Affect Your Relationships

While it is important not to enable avoidance behaviors, it’s also vital that you don’t minimize orinvalidateyour partner’s feelings. Beempatheticto what your spouse is going through and acknowledge their fears and worries.

Instead, let them know that you recognize they are anxious and that you are there to support them. Consider talking about ways that you might work together to help them feel less anxious in such situations.

Learn more about some of the available treatment options for your partner. You might even check for therapists in your area or online treatment options,

Don’t make an appointment for your partner without talking to them first. They need to make the decision, but let them know that you will support them during treatment.

Once your spouse begins treatment for anxiety or panic attacks, encourage them to stick with their therapist’s recommendations, including keeping their therapy appointments and taking their medication.

How to Encourage Your Partner to See a Therapist, According to Experts

At times, a person with panic disorder may declinetreatmentor even deny that they need help at all. This can be frustrating and hurtful to a partner who wants to have a healthier relationship.

If you are finding that your partner won’t seek out help on their own, it may be time to suggestcouples counseling. A couple’s therapist can assist with communication problems and other unresolved issues affecting your relationship.

If your partner resists couples therapy, you can still seek help on your own. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and determine what is best for you.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Learning to forgiveis often an issue for couples dealing with relationship problems. A person with panic disorder or another anxiety condition may be angry with their partner for not understanding what they are going through.

The partner of the person with panic disorder may develop feelings of resentment, possibly believing that their partner can control their symptoms or being upset when they feel that their partner is not working hard enough to cope with their condition.

Forgivenessis often a powerful way to resolve and repair relationship issues and move forward towards a healthier relationship for both partners.

Many times a couple cannot move forward until they have forgiven each other for past mistakes. It can be helpful if both partners recognize how they may have been perceived and promise to move forward without bringing up past hurt. By practicing forgiveness, a couple may also be able to let go of pent-up tension and anxiety.

Takeaways

It isn’t always to easy to support a partner who is coping with a mental health condition like anxiety. They key is to learn more about their condition, find ways you can offer support, and encourage them to get the help they need. In doing so, you can ensure that you and your spouse continue to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Saving Your Marriage When the Relationship Hurts

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Pankiewicz P, Majkowicz M, Krzykowski G.Anxiety disorders in intimate partners and the quality of their relationship.J Affect Disord.2012;140(2):176-80. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2012.02.005Anxiety And Depression Association Of America (ADAA).Spouse or partner.National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).Find your local NAMI.National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).How to love someone with a mental illness.Mojtabai R, Stuart EA, Hwang I, Eaton WW, Sampson N, Kessler RC.Long-term effects of mental disorders on marital outcomes in the National Comorbidity Survey ten-year follow-up.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol.2017;52(10):1217-1226. doi:10.1007/s00127-017-1373-1Enright R.Forgiveness Is a Choice. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association (APA); 2009.

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Pankiewicz P, Majkowicz M, Krzykowski G.Anxiety disorders in intimate partners and the quality of their relationship.J Affect Disord.2012;140(2):176-80. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2012.02.005Anxiety And Depression Association Of America (ADAA).Spouse or partner.National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).Find your local NAMI.National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).How to love someone with a mental illness.Mojtabai R, Stuart EA, Hwang I, Eaton WW, Sampson N, Kessler RC.Long-term effects of mental disorders on marital outcomes in the National Comorbidity Survey ten-year follow-up.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol.2017;52(10):1217-1226. doi:10.1007/s00127-017-1373-1Enright R.Forgiveness Is a Choice. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association (APA); 2009.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Pankiewicz P, Majkowicz M, Krzykowski G.Anxiety disorders in intimate partners and the quality of their relationship.J Affect Disord.2012;140(2):176-80. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2012.02.005Anxiety And Depression Association Of America (ADAA).Spouse or partner.National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).Find your local NAMI.National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).How to love someone with a mental illness.Mojtabai R, Stuart EA, Hwang I, Eaton WW, Sampson N, Kessler RC.Long-term effects of mental disorders on marital outcomes in the National Comorbidity Survey ten-year follow-up.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol.2017;52(10):1217-1226. doi:10.1007/s00127-017-1373-1Enright R.Forgiveness Is a Choice. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association (APA); 2009.

Pankiewicz P, Majkowicz M, Krzykowski G.Anxiety disorders in intimate partners and the quality of their relationship.J Affect Disord.2012;140(2):176-80. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2012.02.005

Anxiety And Depression Association Of America (ADAA).Spouse or partner.

National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).Find your local NAMI.

National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI).How to love someone with a mental illness.

Mojtabai R, Stuart EA, Hwang I, Eaton WW, Sampson N, Kessler RC.Long-term effects of mental disorders on marital outcomes in the National Comorbidity Survey ten-year follow-up.Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol.2017;52(10):1217-1226. doi:10.1007/s00127-017-1373-1

Enright R.Forgiveness Is a Choice. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association (APA); 2009.

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