Helping Your Child With the Fear of Death

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSymptomsCausesHow to HelpTreatment

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Symptoms

Causes

How to Help

Treatment

There is help forthanatophobia, thefear of death. This phobia cuts across religious, social, and cultural boundaries, affecting people of all ages and backgrounds. But it can be disturbing for adults when the fear of death surfaces in children.

We generally expect kids to be happy-go-lucky and fearless, and anyphobiacan be difficult for parents to address. When the fear is of death, it can be particularly challenging to cope.

Signs and Symptoms of the Fear of Death

Children with thanatophobia experience intense anxiety and fear in response to thoughts of death. As a result, they often experience physical symptoms of fear, such as:

Other common signs and symptoms include avoiding threatening situations, constantly asking for reassurance, clinging to a parent or caregiver, and obsessing about minor health complaints.

Thanatophobia is not considered a distinct condition in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM-5-TR), the tool that healthcare practitioners use to help diagnose mental health conditions. Instead, it would be diagnosed as a specific phobia, which is an intense fear of a specific object or situation.

What Causes Children’s Fear of Death?

There are a variety of factors that can contribute to a fear of death in children. Fear of the unknown can play a part, but it may also be linked to a traumatic loss, such as the loss of a parent or other loved one.

Generally, some fear of death and dying is normal for kids between the ages of seven and 16. Some experts also suggest that it can be a normal part of childhood development.

Why Fear of Death Is Primal Fear

Thefear of death is particularly commonin younger children around the ages of six and seven.Children view death without all the trappings, religious beliefs, or defense mechanisms that adults have. Instead, children see death as a terrifying state of nothingness and don’t necessarily understand what causes it.

Younger kids also lack specific cognitive capacities, making it difficult to grasp that someone can go away and come back. When mommy is gone, as far as the young child is concerned, she may not continue to exist.

These cognitive differences in younger kids also contribute toseparation anxiety, common in children between eight and 14 months. It also plays a role in other fears that involve being alone.

The Role of Magical Thinking

In an adult,magical thinkingis a possible symptom of a mental disorder. But magical thinking in children is a normal developmental process.

Kids lack the cognitive capacities, experience, and knowledge needed to always perceive the world rationally. Instead, most children go through a phase of believing that their thoughts and wishes are all-powerful. This may be an effort to gain some control over the world around them, but this fantasy is a double-edged sword.

If the child thinks about someone dying, in his mind that alone could lead to the death of that person. So sometimes kids develop rituals and superstitions designed to protect themselves from those wishes becoming a reality.

Research suggests that the fear of death is also sometimes linked with other mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, panic disorder, and hypochondriasis.People who have an intense fear of death also tend to experience more severe mental health symptoms.

Helping a Child With Thanatophobia

In most children, the fear of death will not become pathological. Most childhood fears are soon outgrown as kids gain maturity and begin to shift their focus to the here and now.

However, your child may receive a thanatophobia diagnosis if her symptoms are persistent, excessive, present for six months or more, and significantly impact their functioning.

There are things you can do to help support a child who expresses a fear of death and dying. Strategies you can use to help your child include:

Your reaction as a parent or teacher can partially influence how long-lasting and severe the child’s fear of death is. Many adults assume that kids have no real concept of death, so they avoid discussing it with their children. But kids tend to ask for information when they are ready for it.

Healthy, child-led dialogue can help kids put death in perspective and minimize problematic thoughts and feelings about death.

Seeking Therapy for Thanatophobia

If your child displays a severe, life-limiting fear of death, or if the fear lasts for more than 6 months, seek professional guidance.Counseling is also recommended for children who experience a significant loss such as the death of a parent or close friend or witness a traumatic event such as a school shooting.

Placing your child in therapy can trigger your insecurities or make you wonder if you somehow failed as a parent. In reality, phobias can develop for a seemingly endless number of reasons. Early intervention gives your child the best chances to combat the phobia.

A Word From Verywell

Anxiety and distress about death is a common fear for young children and teens. For most kids, this fear will gradually diminish as they grow, gain new experiences, and acquire different coping skills. A more severe fear of death, however, may require professional intervention. Talk to your child’s doctor if you are concerned about their symptoms for further advice and evaluation.

If you or a loved one are struggling with a phobia or other mental health condition, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with a phobia or other mental health condition, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

The 7 Best Online Therapy Programs for Kids

7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety disorders.University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.Specific phobias.American Academy of Pediatrics.Understanding childhood fears and anxieties.Iverach L, Menzies RG, Menzies RE.Death anxiety and its role in psychopathology: Reviewing the status of a transdiagnostic construct.Clinical Psychology Review. 2014;34(7):580-593. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2014.09.002Menzies RE, Sharpe L, Dar‐Nimrod I.The relationship between death anxiety and severity of mental illnesses.British Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2019;58(4):452-467. doi:10.1111/bjc.12229Longbottom S, Slaughter V.Sources of children’s knowledge about death and dying.Philos Trans R Soc Lond, B, Biol Sci.2018;373(1754). doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0267University of Pennsylvania.Specific phobias.

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety disorders.University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.Specific phobias.American Academy of Pediatrics.Understanding childhood fears and anxieties.Iverach L, Menzies RG, Menzies RE.Death anxiety and its role in psychopathology: Reviewing the status of a transdiagnostic construct.Clinical Psychology Review. 2014;34(7):580-593. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2014.09.002Menzies RE, Sharpe L, Dar‐Nimrod I.The relationship between death anxiety and severity of mental illnesses.British Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2019;58(4):452-467. doi:10.1111/bjc.12229Longbottom S, Slaughter V.Sources of children’s knowledge about death and dying.Philos Trans R Soc Lond, B, Biol Sci.2018;373(1754). doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0267University of Pennsylvania.Specific phobias.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety disorders.University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.Specific phobias.American Academy of Pediatrics.Understanding childhood fears and anxieties.Iverach L, Menzies RG, Menzies RE.Death anxiety and its role in psychopathology: Reviewing the status of a transdiagnostic construct.Clinical Psychology Review. 2014;34(7):580-593. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2014.09.002Menzies RE, Sharpe L, Dar‐Nimrod I.The relationship between death anxiety and severity of mental illnesses.British Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2019;58(4):452-467. doi:10.1111/bjc.12229Longbottom S, Slaughter V.Sources of children’s knowledge about death and dying.Philos Trans R Soc Lond, B, Biol Sci.2018;373(1754). doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0267University of Pennsylvania.Specific phobias.

National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety disorders.

University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.Specific phobias.

American Academy of Pediatrics.Understanding childhood fears and anxieties.

Iverach L, Menzies RG, Menzies RE.Death anxiety and its role in psychopathology: Reviewing the status of a transdiagnostic construct.Clinical Psychology Review. 2014;34(7):580-593. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2014.09.002

Menzies RE, Sharpe L, Dar‐Nimrod I.The relationship between death anxiety and severity of mental illnesses.British Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2019;58(4):452-467. doi:10.1111/bjc.12229

Longbottom S, Slaughter V.Sources of children’s knowledge about death and dying.Philos Trans R Soc Lond, B, Biol Sci.2018;373(1754). doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0267

University of Pennsylvania.Specific phobias.

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