Help! My Low Libido Is Ruining My Relationship

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSigns & Symptoms of a Low Libido in WomenDiagnosing a Low Sex Libido in WomenWhat Causes Women to Have a Low Libido?Treatments

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs & Symptoms of a Low Libido in Women

Diagnosing a Low Sex Libido in Women

What Causes Women to Have a Low Libido?

Treatments

Close

Look, it’s not unusual for couples to hit a plateau in their sex lives. More often than not, women deal with a lower libido, or sex drive, than men.A low libido can present as a lack of interest in sex, difficulty in finding pleasure from sex, and an absence of sexual thoughts or fantasies. We get how distressing this can be for both partners' sexual well-being and could even put the relationship at risk if it can’t be resolved.

The good news is that identifying what’s causing your lowlibidocan lead to effective treatment options.

Read on to learn more about understanding the causes of your low sex drive, symptoms, and options you can try to boost your libido.

The medical term for low sex drive and lack of interest in sex ishypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), though there is some debate as to whether or not a woman’s lack of sex drive should be viewed as a disorder.

Some of the symptoms of HSDD include:

Why You Have Sexual Fantasies and What They Mean

Research has found that the female sex drive differs from that of men and that women naturally have lower libidos and think about sex less often than men.

Diagnosing Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)

According to theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), to be diagnosed with HSDD, the lack of desire must cause someone significant distress and negatively affect their relationships orself-esteem, for six months or more.

It is important to note that some fluctuations in sexual desire are natural and healthy. Many other factors can reduce sexual desire that wouldn’t qualify as HSDD.

To rule out HSDD, work with your doctor to identify any potential causes and treatment options. Since there are no specific medical tests that can diagnose HSDD, your doctor will want to know about your symptoms to understand more about how your low sex drive is impacting your relationships and life.

Low sex drive in womenhas many potential causes, including:

Medical Factors

Sometimes, an underlying medical condition may be behind low sex drive. The following conditions and medications can potentially lower sex drive:

In cases where medications, such as antidepressants, cause a lowered sex drive, your doctor may suggest a prescription with fewer side effects. Do not stop taking your medications without your doctor’s approval.

Coping With Sexual Side Effects From Antidepressants

Personal Factors

Daily life stressors can also have an impact on your sex drive.

Pregnancy

Many women, for example, have a lower desire for sex duringand after pregnancy due to being extremely busy and fatigued or focusing more on their children than sexual intimacy.

If your body has changed over time or after giving birth, this can also impact feelings of sexual desire and desirability.

Stress

Work stress can negatively affect your sex drive as well, especially when having to care for a family. By the end of the day, sleep becomes the priority, not sex.

Relationship-Based Factors

One of the strongest factors impacting a woman’s drive is the quality of her relationship and emotional connection to her sexual partner.

Problems that may interfere with your sex life include:

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Treatment of Low Libido in Women

Once you have identified the issues contributing to your low sex drive, you can begin treatment. The following two columns provide the types of interventions your doctor may recommend or prescribe to increase your sex drive.

Non-PharmacologicStress reductionBehavioral therapyAltering bad habitsExerciseWeight lossMarriage counselingIndividual therapyBetter communication with spousePharmacologicEros-CTDdeviceO-ShotAddyi(flibanserin)Testosterone creamEstrogen patch or pillsVaginal lubricantsVyleesi

Non-PharmacologicStress reductionBehavioral therapyAltering bad habitsExerciseWeight lossMarriage counselingIndividual therapyBetter communication with spouse

Stress reduction

Behavioral therapy

Altering bad habits

Exercise

Weight loss

Marriage counseling

Individual therapy

Better communication with spouse

PharmacologicEros-CTDdeviceO-ShotAddyi(flibanserin)Testosterone creamEstrogen patch or pillsVaginal lubricantsVyleesi

Eros-CTDdevice

O-Shot

Addyi(flibanserin)

Testosterone cream

Estrogen patch or pills

Vaginal lubricants

Vyleesi

Therapy and Lifestyle Changes

If the problems are identified to be stress- or relationship-based, there are several approaches that may help. Your doctor may suggest individual and/or couples counseling to devise a plan (ideally with your partner involved in the process) to address and tend to any issues that may be affecting your relationship.

This is where it’s vital that you and your partner work as a team with a therapist to resolve any potential issues. Atherapistcan help teach you how to better communicate with your partner and suggest sexual techniques right for your relationship to create a more pleasurable experience.

Lifestyle changes you can make include:

Medical Interventions

A low sex drive can also be treated with medications; unfortunately, medical interventions for women have not been as successful as those for men.

Estrogen Therapy

Due to reduced blood flow to the vagina, many premenopausal and postmenopausal women experience changes in estrogen levels. If low estrogen levels are the cause of your HSDD symptoms, then your doctor may recommend estrogen therapy using a cream, suppository, or ring that releases estrogen in the vagina without the unwanted side effects that come with estrogen pills.

The O-Shot

Clitoral Therapy

The Eros clitoral therapy device, or Eros-CTD, is a small, hand-held device fitted with a removable, replaceable small plastic cup used to improve blood flow to the clitoris and genitalia using a vacuum system.

The FDA cleared Eros Therapy in April 2000 to treat sexual arousal and orgasmic disorders. The device costs about $400; a prescription is required in the United States.

Addyi

Another treatment option is a pill calledAddyi(flibanserin), which is an oral prescription drug that works on brain chemicals to increase desire.However, the drug has potential side effects, including low blood pressure, fainting, and dizziness.

One of the most recent entries in the treatment arena is Vyleesi (bremelanotide), which the FDA approved for use in premenopausal women in 2019. It’s an at-home, self-administered injection used before sexual activity. Vyleesi activates receptors in the brain, but researchers don’t know exactly why it works to increase sexual desire.

Keep in Mind

If the root cause is psychological and not medical, low sex drive in women can be used as a starting point to explore what is off, missing, or desired that may be lacking.

This can be a sensitive and vulnerable topic for all parties involved so proceed with gentleness, compassion, curiosity, and care for yourself and each other.

What to Do If Your Partner Is Not Interested in Sex

16 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Friedmann E, Cwikel J.Women and Men’s Perspectives on the Factors Related to Women’s Dyadic Sexual Desire, and on the Treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.J Clin Med. 2021;10(22):5321. Published 2021 Nov 15. doi:10.3390/jcm10225321Faubion SS, Rullo JE.Sexual dysfunction in women: A practical approach.American Family Physician. 2015;92(4):281–288.Zeleke BM, Bell RJ, Billah B, Davis SR.Hypoactive sexual desire dysfunction in community-dwelling older women.Menopause. 2017;24(4):391-399. doi:10.1097/GME.0000000000000767Ganz PA, Greendale GA.Female sexual desire—Beyond testosterone.JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute.2007; 99(9):659-661.Brotto LA.The DSM diagnostic criteria for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in men.J Sex Med.2010;7(6):2015-2030. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01860.xNational Library of Medicine.Women and sexual problems.Montgomery KA.Sexual desire disorders.Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2008;5(6):50-5.Huang AJ, Stewart AL, Hernandez AL, Shen H, Subak LL.Sexual function among overweight and obese women with urinary incontinence in a randomized controlled trial of an intensive behavioral weight loss intervention.J Urol.2009;181(5):2235-42. doi: 10.1016/j.juro.2009.01.046Sadownik LA.Etiology, diagnosis, and clinical management of vulvodynia.Int J Womens Health.2014;6:437-49. doi: 10.2147/IJWH.S37660Allahdadi KJ, Tostes RC, Webb RC.Female sexual dysfunction: therapeutic options and experimental challenges.Cardiovasc Hematol Agents Med Chem.2009;7(4):260-9.Danesh M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Moosazadeh M, Shabani-asrami F.The Effect of Hysterectomy on Women’s Sexual Function: a Narrative Review.Med Arch.2015;69(6):387-92. doi: 10.5455/medarh.2015.69.387-392Warnock JJ.Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder: epidemiology, diagnosis and treatment.CNS Drugs.2002;16(11):745-53. doi: 10.2165/00023210-200216110-00003Gałązka I, Drosdzol-Cop A, Naworska B, Czajkowska M, Skrzypulec-Plinta V.Changes in the sexual function during pregnancy.J Sex Med. 2015;12(2):445-454. doi:10.1111/jsm.12747Nappi RE, Martini E, Terreno E, et al.Management of hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women: current and emerging therapies.Int J Womens Health.2010;2:167-75.English C, Muhleisen A, Rey JA.Flibanserin (Addyi): The First FDA-Approved Treatment for Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder in Premenopausal Women.P T.2017;42(4):237-241.U.S. Food and Drug Administration.FDA approves new treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in premenopausal women. June 21, 2019Additional ReadingLaumann EO, Paik A, Rosen RC.Sexual dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and predictors.JAMA.1999;281:537-44.

16 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Friedmann E, Cwikel J.Women and Men’s Perspectives on the Factors Related to Women’s Dyadic Sexual Desire, and on the Treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.J Clin Med. 2021;10(22):5321. Published 2021 Nov 15. doi:10.3390/jcm10225321Faubion SS, Rullo JE.Sexual dysfunction in women: A practical approach.American Family Physician. 2015;92(4):281–288.Zeleke BM, Bell RJ, Billah B, Davis SR.Hypoactive sexual desire dysfunction in community-dwelling older women.Menopause. 2017;24(4):391-399. doi:10.1097/GME.0000000000000767Ganz PA, Greendale GA.Female sexual desire—Beyond testosterone.JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute.2007; 99(9):659-661.Brotto LA.The DSM diagnostic criteria for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in men.J Sex Med.2010;7(6):2015-2030. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01860.xNational Library of Medicine.Women and sexual problems.Montgomery KA.Sexual desire disorders.Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2008;5(6):50-5.Huang AJ, Stewart AL, Hernandez AL, Shen H, Subak LL.Sexual function among overweight and obese women with urinary incontinence in a randomized controlled trial of an intensive behavioral weight loss intervention.J Urol.2009;181(5):2235-42. doi: 10.1016/j.juro.2009.01.046Sadownik LA.Etiology, diagnosis, and clinical management of vulvodynia.Int J Womens Health.2014;6:437-49. doi: 10.2147/IJWH.S37660Allahdadi KJ, Tostes RC, Webb RC.Female sexual dysfunction: therapeutic options and experimental challenges.Cardiovasc Hematol Agents Med Chem.2009;7(4):260-9.Danesh M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Moosazadeh M, Shabani-asrami F.The Effect of Hysterectomy on Women’s Sexual Function: a Narrative Review.Med Arch.2015;69(6):387-92. doi: 10.5455/medarh.2015.69.387-392Warnock JJ.Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder: epidemiology, diagnosis and treatment.CNS Drugs.2002;16(11):745-53. doi: 10.2165/00023210-200216110-00003Gałązka I, Drosdzol-Cop A, Naworska B, Czajkowska M, Skrzypulec-Plinta V.Changes in the sexual function during pregnancy.J Sex Med. 2015;12(2):445-454. doi:10.1111/jsm.12747Nappi RE, Martini E, Terreno E, et al.Management of hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women: current and emerging therapies.Int J Womens Health.2010;2:167-75.English C, Muhleisen A, Rey JA.Flibanserin (Addyi): The First FDA-Approved Treatment for Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder in Premenopausal Women.P T.2017;42(4):237-241.U.S. Food and Drug Administration.FDA approves new treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in premenopausal women. June 21, 2019Additional ReadingLaumann EO, Paik A, Rosen RC.Sexual dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and predictors.JAMA.1999;281:537-44.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Friedmann E, Cwikel J.Women and Men’s Perspectives on the Factors Related to Women’s Dyadic Sexual Desire, and on the Treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.J Clin Med. 2021;10(22):5321. Published 2021 Nov 15. doi:10.3390/jcm10225321Faubion SS, Rullo JE.Sexual dysfunction in women: A practical approach.American Family Physician. 2015;92(4):281–288.Zeleke BM, Bell RJ, Billah B, Davis SR.Hypoactive sexual desire dysfunction in community-dwelling older women.Menopause. 2017;24(4):391-399. doi:10.1097/GME.0000000000000767Ganz PA, Greendale GA.Female sexual desire—Beyond testosterone.JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute.2007; 99(9):659-661.Brotto LA.The DSM diagnostic criteria for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in men.J Sex Med.2010;7(6):2015-2030. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01860.xNational Library of Medicine.Women and sexual problems.Montgomery KA.Sexual desire disorders.Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2008;5(6):50-5.Huang AJ, Stewart AL, Hernandez AL, Shen H, Subak LL.Sexual function among overweight and obese women with urinary incontinence in a randomized controlled trial of an intensive behavioral weight loss intervention.J Urol.2009;181(5):2235-42. doi: 10.1016/j.juro.2009.01.046Sadownik LA.Etiology, diagnosis, and clinical management of vulvodynia.Int J Womens Health.2014;6:437-49. doi: 10.2147/IJWH.S37660Allahdadi KJ, Tostes RC, Webb RC.Female sexual dysfunction: therapeutic options and experimental challenges.Cardiovasc Hematol Agents Med Chem.2009;7(4):260-9.Danesh M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Moosazadeh M, Shabani-asrami F.The Effect of Hysterectomy on Women’s Sexual Function: a Narrative Review.Med Arch.2015;69(6):387-92. doi: 10.5455/medarh.2015.69.387-392Warnock JJ.Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder: epidemiology, diagnosis and treatment.CNS Drugs.2002;16(11):745-53. doi: 10.2165/00023210-200216110-00003Gałązka I, Drosdzol-Cop A, Naworska B, Czajkowska M, Skrzypulec-Plinta V.Changes in the sexual function during pregnancy.J Sex Med. 2015;12(2):445-454. doi:10.1111/jsm.12747Nappi RE, Martini E, Terreno E, et al.Management of hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women: current and emerging therapies.Int J Womens Health.2010;2:167-75.English C, Muhleisen A, Rey JA.Flibanserin (Addyi): The First FDA-Approved Treatment for Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder in Premenopausal Women.P T.2017;42(4):237-241.U.S. Food and Drug Administration.FDA approves new treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in premenopausal women. June 21, 2019

Friedmann E, Cwikel J.Women and Men’s Perspectives on the Factors Related to Women’s Dyadic Sexual Desire, and on the Treatment of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.J Clin Med. 2021;10(22):5321. Published 2021 Nov 15. doi:10.3390/jcm10225321

Faubion SS, Rullo JE.Sexual dysfunction in women: A practical approach.American Family Physician. 2015;92(4):281–288.

Zeleke BM, Bell RJ, Billah B, Davis SR.Hypoactive sexual desire dysfunction in community-dwelling older women.Menopause. 2017;24(4):391-399. doi:10.1097/GME.0000000000000767

Ganz PA, Greendale GA.Female sexual desire—Beyond testosterone.JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute.2007; 99(9):659-661.

Brotto LA.The DSM diagnostic criteria for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in men.J Sex Med.2010;7(6):2015-2030. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01860.x

National Library of Medicine.Women and sexual problems.

Montgomery KA.Sexual desire disorders.Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2008;5(6):50-5.

Huang AJ, Stewart AL, Hernandez AL, Shen H, Subak LL.Sexual function among overweight and obese women with urinary incontinence in a randomized controlled trial of an intensive behavioral weight loss intervention.J Urol.2009;181(5):2235-42. doi: 10.1016/j.juro.2009.01.046

Sadownik LA.Etiology, diagnosis, and clinical management of vulvodynia.Int J Womens Health.2014;6:437-49. doi: 10.2147/IJWH.S37660

Allahdadi KJ, Tostes RC, Webb RC.Female sexual dysfunction: therapeutic options and experimental challenges.Cardiovasc Hematol Agents Med Chem.2009;7(4):260-9.

Danesh M, Hamzehgardeshi Z, Moosazadeh M, Shabani-asrami F.The Effect of Hysterectomy on Women’s Sexual Function: a Narrative Review.Med Arch.2015;69(6):387-92. doi: 10.5455/medarh.2015.69.387-392

Warnock JJ.Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder: epidemiology, diagnosis and treatment.CNS Drugs.2002;16(11):745-53. doi: 10.2165/00023210-200216110-00003

Gałązka I, Drosdzol-Cop A, Naworska B, Czajkowska M, Skrzypulec-Plinta V.Changes in the sexual function during pregnancy.J Sex Med. 2015;12(2):445-454. doi:10.1111/jsm.12747

Nappi RE, Martini E, Terreno E, et al.Management of hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women: current and emerging therapies.Int J Womens Health.2010;2:167-75.

English C, Muhleisen A, Rey JA.Flibanserin (Addyi): The First FDA-Approved Treatment for Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder in Premenopausal Women.P T.2017;42(4):237-241.

U.S. Food and Drug Administration.FDA approves new treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder in premenopausal women. June 21, 2019

Laumann EO, Paik A, Rosen RC.Sexual dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and predictors.JAMA.1999;281:537-44.

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