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Being ahighly sensitive person (HSP)is not a bad thing. It simply means that you tend to process emotions and experiences more deeply. You are quite aware of your surroundings and have a keen gift for picking up onsubtle cuesin your environment that others may not notice.

Since highly sensitive people tend to pick up on these subtle cues and process those more deeply than other people do, it’s not a surprise that they commonly feel overwhelmed during experiences that are not-so-subtle. Things like loud noises, drastic temperature changes, crowds, or emotionally charged situations can createdistressin HSPs because the system becomes overstimulated.Highly sensitive people might also find that they have a harder time healing after experiences that involve betrayal, loss, orrejection.

Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person

Keep in mind that being an HSP is simply a way of being in the world. Many people who identify as an HSP may have had experiences in their lives of other people telling them that they are “too sensitive,” or they “can’t let things go.” These can be painful things to hear, especially from people you care about, and may leave you feeling like you are misunderstood or, worse, weak or incapable.

Asking for Help as a Highly Sensitive Person

As an HSP, you may have experienced situations and people who have left you questioning yourself, your perceptions, and your abilities, which can leave you feeling flawed in some way. We tend to shy away from letting people in, fearing betrayal, loss, or rejection.

It can feel risky for an HSP to ask for help, no matter how much they feel challenged and might struggle at work, in their personal lives, or in their relationships.

When we have particularly deep wounds that need healing, such as abuse or trauma, it can be overwhelming to think we would need to trust someone with our stories and experiences to help us find healing and peace.

The following are some tips for reaching out and finding a therapist who will understand how to work with a highly sensitive person.

Dr. Aron outlines specific steps to finding atherapistin her book, “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Workbook: The Practical Guide for Highly Sensitive People and HSP Support Groups.” One of the first suggestions she makes is to “appreciate that this decision will have a profound impact on your life.”

Take the decision to heart and take the time to research options before deciding. Your therapist will be someone you are incorporating into your life for a period of time, consistently offering you a safe space to share experiences and process through challenging emotions.

Finding a Licensed Therapist

Although many people offer coaching services, it is important to look for providers who have the proper education, training, and licensure to practice in their field. Examples of these would be:

Many providers offer this information on their websites or other listings but, if you are unable to find that information easily, don’t be afraid to ask the person about their credentials and licensing.

Where to Look

Remember that you will likely be seeing this person on a regular basis for a period of time, so keep that in mind as you consider scheduling and commuting.

Examples of online listings include:

The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.

Reach Out and Gather Information

Some therapists offer free consultations briefly in person or over the phone. If you find a provider who seems like they would be a good fit for you and they do not state that they offer a free consultation, don’t be afraid to ask.

Keep in mind this consultation time may need to be scheduled in advance, and some may prefer you come into the office for an in-person consultation.

Dr. Aron suggests that HSPs make a point of sharing enough information during their consultation or first session to gather information about how the therapist responds in session. Questions to ask yourself might include:

Although some therapists are highly sensitive people themselves, others are not. It is not necessarily a requirement for your chosen therapist to be an HSP like you, but you may have that preference.

Allow yourself to gather the information necessary to determine if this is a safe environment for you and whether the therapist understands the gifts and challenges of HSPs.

Allow Yourself Time to Decide

After speaking with a few therapists, take a little time to consider your options. Reflect on things like their interactive style and even the environment of their office. It can be easy for highly sensitive people to second guess themselves or question their perceptions.

Remember, you have a gift of reading cues well, so allow yourself time to reflect on the information you have gathered in your search, and make a solid decision of who might be the best fit for you.

How to Be Less Sensitive

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Acevedo B, Aron E, Pospos S, Jessen D.The functional highly sensitive brain: A review of the brain circuits underlying sensory processing sensitivity and seemingly related disorders.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1744):20170161. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0161National Institute for Mental Health.Psychotherapies. Revised June 2021.

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Acevedo B, Aron E, Pospos S, Jessen D.The functional highly sensitive brain: A review of the brain circuits underlying sensory processing sensitivity and seemingly related disorders.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1744):20170161. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0161National Institute for Mental Health.Psychotherapies. Revised June 2021.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Acevedo B, Aron E, Pospos S, Jessen D.The functional highly sensitive brain: A review of the brain circuits underlying sensory processing sensitivity and seemingly related disorders.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1744):20170161. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0161National Institute for Mental Health.Psychotherapies. Revised June 2021.

Acevedo B, Aron E, Pospos S, Jessen D.The functional highly sensitive brain: A review of the brain circuits underlying sensory processing sensitivity and seemingly related disorders.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1744):20170161. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0161

National Institute for Mental Health.Psychotherapies. Revised June 2021.

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