Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsBreadcrumbing vs. GaslightingSignsWhy People BreadcrumbImpactTips to Deal

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Breadcrumbing vs. Gaslighting

Signs

Why People Breadcrumb

Impact

Tips to Deal

Close

Sometimes referred to as “Hansel and Gretelling,” the term is derived from the idea of leaving behind a trail of breadcrumbs for someone to find what they’re looking for, much like in the children’s story.

Breadcrumbing has become an all-too-common form of manipulation in the dating world, especially with the rise of online and app-centric dating.

While it may sound a lot like gaslighting, and while they both are forms of manipulation in relationships, they are not the same thing. That said, the same personality types can perpetrate both. While breadcrumbing is, in essence, “leading someone on,“gaslightingis the deliberate attempt to blur someone’s concept of reality, which causes the victim to question their judgment and perceptions.

Breadcrumbing can lead to hurt feelings and sleepless nights. Still, it’s not as directly manipulative as gaslighting, which alienates the victim from friends and themselves with the intent to control.Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York City, explains that breadcrumbing and gaslighting “are similar in that they make the victim doubt and question their own perspective and the other person’s intentions.”

BreadcrumbingInvolves a small-but-inconsistent supply of interest that keeps someone feeling as though there is the potential for moreCauses someone to question whether the person actually cares about themGaslightingInvolves a person actively trying to make someone question their perception of realityIts goal is to convince a person that their thoughts are wrong, which works to erode their confidence and ability to make clear judgments

BreadcrumbingInvolves a small-but-inconsistent supply of interest that keeps someone feeling as though there is the potential for moreCauses someone to question whether the person actually cares about them

Involves a small-but-inconsistent supply of interest that keeps someone feeling as though there is the potential for more

Causes someone to question whether the person actually cares about them

GaslightingInvolves a person actively trying to make someone question their perception of realityIts goal is to convince a person that their thoughts are wrong, which works to erode their confidence and ability to make clear judgments

Involves a person actively trying to make someone question their perception of reality

Its goal is to convince a person that their thoughts are wrong, which works to erode their confidence and ability to make clear judgments

Romanoff explains that both of these manipulation tactics involve using emotionally relevant information against another. They are also both tactics that people use to exert power and control in relationships.

Am I Being Gaslighted? Take the Quiz

Signs of Breadcrumbing

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Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all explanation for breadcrumbing behavior. The underlying causes for each instance can be as varied as the relationships in which they occur. However, there are common rewards that breadcrumbers are probably seeking out:

How to Avoid Falling Into a Narcissistic Relationship Pattern

Impact of Breadcrumbing

Romanoff explains that one of the darkest aspects of breadcrumbers is that they typically exert their power on people who they know have strong feelings for them. This often results in the other person suppressing their own needs in order to preserve their attachment to the breadcrumber, as unfulfilling as painful as it may be.

How to Stay Mentally Strong When Someone Is Gaslighting You

Tips to Deal With Breadcrumbing

Although it’s often present in fantasy, there is no solution like a love potion that would just get your breadcrumber to give you the attention you crave. Fortunately, though, the solutions to dealing with breadcrumbing all come from within. Romanoff shared some tips for those who are dealing with a breadcrumber.

What This Means For YouAs with all aspects of dating in the digital world, being breadcrumbed can be an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking experience. Now that you have greater awareness around how to recognize it, hopefully you can cut off or let go of a breadcrumber, and make and protect space for yourself and your needs—whether that’s on your own or exploring possibilities with someone else.

What This Means For You

As with all aspects of dating in the digital world, being breadcrumbed can be an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking experience. Now that you have greater awareness around how to recognize it, hopefully you can cut off or let go of a breadcrumber, and make and protect space for yourself and your needs—whether that’s on your own or exploring possibilities with someone else.

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3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Macmillan Dictionary.Definition of breadcrumbing, buzzword from macmillan dictionary.Sweet PL.The Sociology of Gaslighting.American Sociological Review. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Navarro R, Larrañaga E, Yubero S, Víllora B.Psychological Correlates of Ghosting and Breadcrumbing Experiences: A Preliminary Study among Adults.International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2020; 17(3):1116.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Macmillan Dictionary.Definition of breadcrumbing, buzzword from macmillan dictionary.Sweet PL.The Sociology of Gaslighting.American Sociological Review. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Navarro R, Larrañaga E, Yubero S, Víllora B.Psychological Correlates of Ghosting and Breadcrumbing Experiences: A Preliminary Study among Adults.International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2020; 17(3):1116.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Macmillan Dictionary.Definition of breadcrumbing, buzzword from macmillan dictionary.Sweet PL.The Sociology of Gaslighting.American Sociological Review. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Navarro R, Larrañaga E, Yubero S, Víllora B.Psychological Correlates of Ghosting and Breadcrumbing Experiences: A Preliminary Study among Adults.International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2020; 17(3):1116.

Macmillan Dictionary.Definition of breadcrumbing, buzzword from macmillan dictionary.

Sweet PL.The Sociology of Gaslighting.American Sociological Review. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843

Navarro R, Larrañaga E, Yubero S, Víllora B.Psychological Correlates of Ghosting and Breadcrumbing Experiences: A Preliminary Study among Adults.International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2020; 17(3):1116.

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