Autismcan significantlyimpact romantic relationshipsdue to differences insocial communication, emotional understanding, and sensory needs.
Autistic individuals may struggle with expressing affection, interpreting their partner’s emotions, and managing sensory stimuli, which can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Non-autistic partners may feel unfulfilled or disconnected from their autistic partner.
Understanding the factors that contribute to relationship satisfaction in couples where one partner is autistic is crucial for supporting these unique partnerships.
Key Points
Rationale
Existing research indicates that autistic individuals express similar levels of interest in romantic relationships as non-autistic individuals (Hancock et al., 2019; Strunz et al., 2017) but are less likely to be involved in one (Renty & Roeyers, 2006) and report shorter relationships (Hancock et al., 2019) and lower relationship satisfaction (Barneveld et al., 2014) compared to non-autistic peers.
Romantic relationships are associated with better mental health, physical health, and quality of life in both autistic and non-autistic populations (Braithwaite & Holt-Lunstad, 2017; Mason et al., 2018; Proulx et al., 2007).
However, research on factors contributing to relationship satisfaction in autism has focused primarily on the characteristics of the autistic individual as barriers (Yew et al., 2021), overlooking the role of their partners.
Method
Procedure
This study used an online survey to collect data from autistic adults and non-autistic adults currently or previously in long-term relationships (12+ months) with autistic individuals.
Participants answered demographic questions and completed measures on personality traits, social loneliness, communication skills, partner responsiveness, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction.
Sample
The sample included 95 autistic adults (aged 18+) and 65 non-autistic adults currently or previously in long-term relationships with autistic individuals.
Participants were 37.44 years old on average and primarily female, cisgender, heterosexual, and White.
Relationship durations ranged from 12 months to 53 years.
Measures
Measures included:
Statistical Measures
A hierarchical multiple regression analysis was conducted with relationship satisfaction as the outcome variable.
Age and autism diagnosis were included as covariates.
Predictors were entered based on their variability across the lifespan.
Results
The hypotheses and corresponding results were:
Insight
This study provides valuable new insights into the experience of long-term romantic relationships for autistic individuals and their non-autistic partners.
Contrary to previous research, autistic participants reported greater sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and perceived partner responsiveness compared to their non-autistic partners, despite also reporting higher social loneliness and lower scores on personality traits.
One key finding was that partner responsiveness was the most significant predictor of relationship satisfaction for both autistic and non-autistic individuals.
Interestingly, factors previously identified as barriers to relationship satisfaction, such as personality traits, social skills, communication skills, and sexual satisfaction, were not significantly associated with relationship satisfaction in this sample.
This could be because the long-term nature of the relationships studied reflects the partners’ ability to overcome potential barriers, or because partners are open to accommodating the needs of their autistic partner.
Future research should explore the specific qualities and behaviors that contribute to responsive partnerships, as well as how couples work to overcome challenges.
Studying couples in which both partners are autistic could also shed light on unique relationship dynamics and strengths.
Strengths
The study had many methodological strengths, including:
Limitations
The study has several limitations that impact the generalizability of the findings:
Researchers should aim to recruit larger and more diverse samples, gather data on the diagnostic status of both partners, and use longitudinal designs to track relationship satisfaction over time.
Qualitative studies could also provide richer insights into couples’ lived experiences.
Implications
The results have significant implications for supporting autistic individuals and their partners in maintaining satisfying long-term relationships.
The finding that partner responsiveness was the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction suggests that interventions should focus on helping couples build understanding, validation, and care for each other.
Service providers working with couples could assist them in identifying each other’s needs and how to meet them effectively. Relationship education programs could incorporate training in expressing appreciation, respect, and affection.
Rather than viewing autism-related traits as inherent barriers to relationship satisfaction, the findings suggest that with mutual effort, understanding, and responsiveness, these couples can maintain fulfilling partnerships.
This strengths-based perspective aligns with the neurodiversity paradigm and shifts the focus away from trying to change the autistic partner.
Additional research is necessary to understand how factors like disability severity, comorbid mental health conditions, LGBTQIA+ identities, and cultural background intersect with autism in shaping relationship experiences.
Studies should also examine relationship satisfaction and longevity in couples where both partners are autistic.
References
Primary reference
Yew, R. Y., Hooley, M., & Stokes, M. A. (2023). Factors of relationship satisfaction for autistic and non-autistic partners in long-term relationships.Autism,27(8), 2348-2360.https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613231160244
Other references
Barneveld, P. S., Swaab, H., Fagel, S., van Engeland, H., & de Sonneville, L. M. J. (2014). Quality of life: A case-controlled long-term follow-up study, comparing young high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorders with adults with other psychiatric disorders diagnosed in childhood.Comprehensive Psychiatry, 55(2), 302–310.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.comppsych.2013.08.001
Braithwaite, S. R., & Holt-Lunstad, J. (2017). Romantic relationships and mental health.Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 120-125.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.001
Hancock, G., Stokes, M. A., & Mesibov, G. (2019). Differences in romantic relationship experiences for individuals with an autism spectrum disorder.Sexuality and Disability, 38, 231–245.https://doi.org/10.1007/s11195-019-09573-8
Mason, D., McConachie, H., Garland, D., Petrou, A., Rodgers, J., & Parr, J. R. (2018). Predictors of quality of life for autistic adults.Autism Research, 11(7), 1138–1147.https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.1965
Proulx, C. M., Helms, H. M., & Buehler, C. (2007). Marital quality and personal well-being: A meta-analysis.Journal of Marriage and Family, 69(3), 576–593.https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00393.x
Renty, J., & Roeyers, H. (2006). Quality of life in high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorder: The predictive value of disability and support characteristics.Autism, 10(5), 511–524.https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361306066604
Strunz, S., Schermuck, C., Ballerstein, S., Ahlers, C. J., Dziobek, I., & Roepke, S. (2017). Romantic relationships and relationship satisfaction among adults with Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism.Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(1), 113–125.https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22319
Yew, R. Y., Samuel, P., Hooley, M., Mesibov, G. B., & Stokes, M. A. (2021). A systematic review of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance factors in autism.Personal Relationships, 28(4), 777–802.https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12397
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Saul McLeod, PhD
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester
Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education
Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.
