When you think of love, what comes to mind? A person? Your family? A classic rom-com?
During this season so focused on love, it’s also important to recognize when love is no longer healthy and when it’s time to walk away from a relationship.
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
We discussed this topic with Talkspace’s Director of Clinical Content, Amy Cirbus, PhD, LMHC, LPC. Below, she shares warning signs of love that is lifting you up as well as signs of more harmful love.
Signs of Healthy Love
If you understand what healthy love looks like, it’s easier to recognize the signs that you’re experiencing unhealthy love. Reminder: just because you might be experiencingsomefeelings of healthy love doesn’t negate signs of unhealthy love — they’re not mutually exclusive.
Healthy love is supportive, empathic, encouraging, and authentic. You know you’re experiencing healthy love when you can be completely yourself. Healthy love allows you to feel listened to and understood. You want to dedicate time to your loved one and the feeling is reciprocated — you get the attention you need and feel valued and accepted for who you are.
Signs of Unhealthy Love
While there’s no agreed upon list encompassing all behaviors that are unhealthy, anything that makes you feel unhappy, unsafe, out of control, or on edge isn’t healthy. However, there are common situations and feelings that come up in unhealthy relationships that Cirbus elaborates below.
A few indicators of unhealthy love include:
What are the signs of a toxic marriage?
Tips for When You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
If you’re not in immediate danger, create a plan, with input from your support system, about how to leave this relationship. Whether it’s new living arrangements, or removing this person from your life via social media, create a plan of action. Next, follow through with the plan you’ve identified, utilizing the support system you’ve identified. After you’ve severed the relationship, maintain a clean break. It’s normal to want to go back or question your decision, but, you can’t gain proper perspective until you’ve had sufficient time away to judge the situation and relationship.
“Should I stay in this relationship?”
“Relationships have ups and downs, and determining whether to stick it out or make the cut is tough,” Cirbus notes. If you’re left questioning whether you want to stay in a relationship, she assures us that it’s common, and completely normal, to question whether a relationship is viable. As she explains, “Everyone wishes they had a crystal ball to see into the future. What should I do? The best place to start is with yourself. Are you mostly feeling fulfilled, cared for, understood, lifted up, encouraged? Or are you mostly upset, angry, hurt, disappointed?”
Talking to a therapist can be a great first step in sorting out confusing feelings of love.Online therapyprovides an affordable and confidential way to seek help from the palm of your hand. If you’re ready to seek help, you can get matched with a Talkspace therapist today.
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
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