On This Page:ToggleCommon PhrasesIn FamiliesIn FriendshipsIn RelationshipsAt WorkSubtle Phrases
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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to undermine another person’s perception of reality, memory, or sanity.
Gaslighting is a harmful and manipulative behavior tactic that can have severe consequences on the victim’s mental and emotional well-being. Therefore, it is important to pay attention tohow interactions with others make you feel.
Below you will find a list of both common and more subtle gaslighting phrases.
a man putting his arm around a sad woman on the floor while he speaks to her
Common Gaslighting Phrases
Gaslightingcan occur in various contexts, such as social relationships, romantic relationships, andworkplaces.
Althoughgaslighting behaviors can sometimes occur unintentionally,they often involve a person purposefully manipulating another to create doubt and confusion.
These phrases can be classified into six different categories: trivializing, stonewalling, countering, blocking, denying, and blame-shifting.
Trivializinginvolves minimizing or downplaying the significance of someone’s feelings, experiences, or concerns, making them feel as though their emotions or issues are unimportant or unworthy of attention. For example:
Counteringmeans challenging, contradicting, or questioning someone’s memories, perceptions, or experiences. For example:
Blockingor diverting refers to intentionally redirecting or changing the topic of conversation whenever certain issues are brought up to prevent honest communication. For example:
Blame-Shiftingmeans assigning fault or responsibility onto someone else to avoid taking accountability and to make the victim feel guilty.
Gaslighting Phrases in Families
Unfortunately, gaslighting can occur in families where there are skewed power dynamics, such as inparent-childor sibling relationships.
Additionally, close relationships and emotional ties can make it more challenging to recognize and address such behavior.
It is also possible for adult children to gaslight their parents, which typically occurs if these children had witnessed this behavior growing up.
Below are some examples of gaslighting phrases that can be seen in families:
Trivializing
Stonewalling
Countering
Blocking
Denying
Blame-Shifting
Gaslighting Phrases in Friendships
You also might have friends withnarcissistic traitswho gaslight to fulfill their desire to be in control. This behavior typically comes from a place of jealousy, superiority, and manipulation. Often, this is a result of having grown up in a family where gaslighting was common.
Here are some examples of gaslighting phrases seen in friendships:
Gaslighting Phrases in Relationships
Gaslighting in romantic relationshipscan be especially damaging, as it affects the intimacy and trust between partners. At the beginning of a relationship, you might not notice the seeds of doubt your partner is planting in your mind.
But, once your defenses are down, the self-doubt starts to creep in.
Eventually, you feel you cannot trust yourself and your perceptions, giving your partner their desired power over you. It’s essential for individuals to recognize these gaslighting tactics from the beginning; if you feel confused or start to doubt yourself, you should seek professional help to navigate these issues or consider leaving the relationship.
Here are some examples of gaslighting phrases seen in relationships:
Gaslighting Phrases at Work
Gaslighting at workcan involve your colleagues or boss questioning your memory, perception, and sanity. Regardless of the setting, the gaslighter aims to exert control and feel superior.
Gaslighting in the workplace can create a toxic environment and negatively impact employees’ well-being and productivity. If the situation persists or escalates, seeking assistance from HR or higher management may be necessary to ensure a safe and fair work environment.
Here are some examples of gaslighting in the workplace:
Subtle Gaslighting Phrases
Subtle gaslighting phrases can be more difficult to detect than overt ones. These phrases tend to be cloaked in seemingly innocent language or presented as concern or humor.
Here are some examples ofsubtle gaslighting phrases:
Saul McLeod, PhD
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester
Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Julia Simkus
BA (Hons) Psychology, Princeton University
Julia Simkus is a graduate of Princeton University with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. She is currently studying for a Master’s Degree in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness in September 2023. Julia’s research has been published in peer reviewed journals.
Anna DrescherMental Health WriterBSc (Hons), Psychology, Goldsmiths University, MSc in Psychotherapy, University of QueenslandAnna Drescher is a freelance writer and solution-focused hypnotherapist, specializing in CBT and meditation. Using insights from her experience working as an NHS Assistant Clinical Psychologist and Recovery Officer, along with her Master’s degree in Psychotherapy, she lends deep empathy and profound understanding to her mental health and relationships writing.
Anna DrescherMental Health WriterBSc (Hons), Psychology, Goldsmiths University, MSc in Psychotherapy, University of Queensland
Anna Drescher
Mental Health Writer
BSc (Hons), Psychology, Goldsmiths University, MSc in Psychotherapy, University of Queensland
Anna Drescher is a freelance writer and solution-focused hypnotherapist, specializing in CBT and meditation. Using insights from her experience working as an NHS Assistant Clinical Psychologist and Recovery Officer, along with her Master’s degree in Psychotherapy, she lends deep empathy and profound understanding to her mental health and relationships writing.
