Humans are theonly animals to cry tearsand crying serves as an important indication to ourselves and others about the emotions we are experiencing. But is there a normal amount to cry? Is it strange to never cry at all? What do you do when you cry too much? Is it appropriate to cry in front of a romantic partner? We’ll shed some light on some of the most popular questions on crying.

Why Do We Cry?

Emotional crying is a normal bodily response to extreme feelings such as sadness,happiness,anger, or empathy. It is a healthy release of emotion; you might even have heard the saying: “have a good cry.” Crying can have many positive results, including reducing feelings ofstressand as catharsis. It can help peopleself-soothe, allowing them to calm down, andreleases oxytocin and endorphinswhich can help relieve physical and emotional pain. It is also a way to elicit support from others when people need it most.

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You don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within days

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Types of tears

Before we delve deeper into the specifics of crying, first it’s important to understand the three main types of tears: basal, reflex, and emotional tears.

What is the Normal Amount to Cry?

It is okay to cry, just as it is okay not to. Although most people do cry at varying frequencies, there are physical and mental health conditions that lead to some being unable to produce tears. If this is something you struggle with, we suggest speaking to your primary care provider — to ensure that the issue isn’t physiological — or a mental health professional to uncover some of the causes. You can focus on creating asafe spaceto contemplate your feelings, write down your emotions, and speak to trusted loved ones about issues that might be upsetting you or seem like they would be a cause for tears.

For those who do cry, rest assured that some of us cry more than others; there isn’t a specific amount of crying to recommend. Astudyshowed that women typically cry 30–64 times a year, while men cry 5–17 times per year. This gender difference, however, highlights how crying has been unfairly stigmatized for men. In our patriarchal culture, crying is sometimes, and incorrectly, viewed as a sign of weakness. Innately, boys don’t cry less than girls, but as a result of societal pressures boys grow up learning to suppress their emotions. The stigmatization of male crying is destructive and encourages pain and difficult emotions to be internalized as opposed to effectively dealt with and managed. Hopefully, in time, we can break this harmful stigma and encourage healthy crying for all genders.

What to do if you’re crying too much

If you feel like you cry excessively, that you’re inconsolable, or that crying interferes with your daily life, then crying might be indicative of an underlying mood disorder such asdepression, or another mental health condition likeanxiety. You should speak to your doctor about your concerns to see if they can help you understand more about your crying.

If you’re looking for ways to calm yourself and control crying in the moment, these exercises can be effective.

Is crying a “mental breakdown”?

Although you might cry during a “mental breakdown” — a euphemistic term describing a period of serious mental distress where an individual is unable to cope normally with daily life and battles severestress— a bit of crying cannot determine a mental breakdown on its own. Symptoms of mental breakdowns include: feelings ofdepression,insomnia, hallucination, and panic attacks. If crying becomes uncontrollable, however, or you think you cry too often, you should speak to your doctor, it might be the sign of an underlying mood disorder such as depression.

Crying and Romantic Relationships

It can feel uncomfortable to navigate crying in front of your significant other, especially in a new relationship. Over time, as you become more comfortable in the relationship, it won’t feel as strange, but in the beginning you may feel self-conscious, embarrassed, or frustrated with yourself. You might also be unsure about the best way to console your partner if they’re the one in tears.

Is it unattractive to cry in front of a romantic partner?

Many people, especially men, can feel pressure to conceal or suppress their emotional responses for fear of not coming across as strong enough in front of their partner. In reality, showing vulnerability can actually result in your partner feeling closer to you; crying demonstrates strength of character and communicates emotional availability. Crying in front of your partner signifies that you love them and trust them enough to be vulnerable and express your emotions.

How to calm a romantic partner who is crying

As your relationship develops, you will learn the most effective way tocomfort your partner, but if it’s still in the early days here are some quick tips to help soothe your partner.

The Takeaway

Everyone is different and it’s completely normal to cry — whether a lot, a little, or never. If you feel that you’re crying excessively, or a lack of crying seems to be impacting your life, it is worth reaching out to a professional to talk through the situation. In-person oronline therapycan also help you get in touch with your emotions, have a better relationship with your tears, and leave you at a better place than where you started.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.

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