Envy vs. Jealousy: Is There a Difference?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsEnvy vs. JealousyIs Jealousy Worse Than Envy?How to Manage Your Feelings

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Table of Contents

Envy vs. Jealousy

Is Jealousy Worse Than Envy?

How to Manage Your Feelings

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There are subtle but important differences between the emotions of envy andjealousy. Although both can involve uncomfortable feelings of desire for something you want, jealousy can include resentment, suspicion, and protectiveness and envy involves a mix of admiration and discontent.

Jealousy can describe feelings tied to fear of losing something thatyouhave, resentment that someone has achieved something you want, or being protective of possessions or relationships. Envy is a feeling that describes longing for someone else’s things, qualities, privileges, or luck, and the pain of not having them.

Understanding the subtle differences in their meanings may help you better identify and understand youremotionsand communicate them to your loved ones if needed.

Envy vs. Jealousy

In some cases the words envy and jealousy interchangeably and in other cases, one word may be more accurate than another. It can be confusing as people can feel envy and jealousy at the same time.

Feelings of envy in a situation with someone having qualities, items, or good fortune that you do not would show up in the form of emotional pain, lower self-worth, and lower self-esteem and perceived well-being.

Jealousy can be suspicious or reactive and include emotions like fear, anger, resentment, insecurity, and worry about losing something you own. In relationships, jealousy can be a reaction to a perceived threat to the relationship.

Envy

A characteristic of envy is wanting what someone else has. It’s not having something that we want but observing someone else with it and desiring it; hence, it typically only involves two parties, you and another person. The thing you are envious of can be a quality of theirs, an object they own, their status or anything you don’t have but want.

It is different from jealousy as it doesn’t commonly involve feelings of betrayal, anger or rage.

Some examples of feelings of envy include the following:

Jealousy

Unlike envy, jealousy typically involves three parties. Jealousy is when you feel threatened that someone will take away something you already have. That something is typically aperson, such as a romantic partner.

Another difference between jealousy and envy is that jealousy does not always involve a sense ofinferiority. Specifically, the person you are jealous of may not have something you lack and desire. In other words, you can be jealous of someone you are not envious of.

Most people have heard of the terms “jealous boyfriend” or “jealous girlfriend”. This is when a person feels that someone outside of the relationship is threatening to break them up as they sense that this external person is interested in their partner.

Another example is when a parent feels jealous of their nanny as they spend more time with their child. The parent may fear their child will develop a closer relationship with their nanny than them and worry they will lose out on being a part of their child’s life.

Is Jealousy Worse Than Envy?

Humans are emotional creatures. It is completely normal and healthy to feel jealous and envious every now and then. Both are unpleasant feelings that are difficult to experience and manage.

It is possible to feel jealousy and envy simultaneously. One feeling does not have to come before the other. For instance, you feel jealous that your partner is having a lot of late-night meetings with their co-worker. However, you are also envious of the co-worker’s good looks and success. The feelings of envy can worsen the feelings of jealousy.

Pathological jealousy is a psychological disorder where the person experiences delusions of their partnercheatingeven though they do not have any factual evidence. A person with pathological jealousy is very possessive, and obsessive of their partner and shows signs of extreme emotional imbalances.

They can become aggressive and verbally abusive. Treatment involves medication, therapy and interventions that focus on improving the self-esteem of both partners.

A review of the evolutionary psychology of the two feelings found that envy may not be as negative of an emotion as jealousy.It explained that envy can motivate a person to improve their life since envy occurs along the same spectrum of admiration. For instance, a person can be envious of someone’s success but use their envy to motivate them to work harder, copy their efforts and achieve similar success.

However, constantly feeling envious can also be detrimental to your emotional and mental well-being. If you always focus on wanting what someone else has, it can have a negative impact on yourself-esteemand confidence. It can make you feel inadequate and believe you’re not good enough. In addition, you may start to have a negative outlook on life and treat those you are envious of poorly.

Tips to Manage Envy and Jealousy

Envy and jealousy are challenging emotions. Here are some tips to help you manage them:

Ultimately, there are differences between jealousy and envy and is possible to experience them at the same time. Although it is normal to feel these emotions every so often, they can become unhealthy if our minds are preoccupied with them.

If you’re regularly experiencing extreme feelings of envy and/or jealousy, it’s important to speak with a mental health professional. They can help you understand your emotions and provide you with healthy ways to cope.

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Parrott WG, Smith RH.Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy.J Pers Soc Psychol. 1993;64(6):906–920. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.64.6.906Hart S, Carrington H.Jealousy in 6-month-old infants.Infancy. 2002;3(3):395–402.Kingham M, Gordon H.Aspects of morbid jealousy.Adv psychiatr treat. 2004;10(3):207–215.Seeman MV.Pathological jealousy: an interactive condition.Psychiatry. 2016;79(4):379–388.Ramachandran VS, Jalal B.The evolutionary psychology of envy and jealousy.Front Psychol. 2017;8. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01619Attridge M.Jealousy and relationship closeness: exploring the good (Reactive) and bad (Suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy.SAGE Open. 2013;3(1):215824401347605. doi:10.1177/2158244013476054

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Parrott WG, Smith RH.Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy.J Pers Soc Psychol. 1993;64(6):906–920. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.64.6.906Hart S, Carrington H.Jealousy in 6-month-old infants.Infancy. 2002;3(3):395–402.Kingham M, Gordon H.Aspects of morbid jealousy.Adv psychiatr treat. 2004;10(3):207–215.Seeman MV.Pathological jealousy: an interactive condition.Psychiatry. 2016;79(4):379–388.Ramachandran VS, Jalal B.The evolutionary psychology of envy and jealousy.Front Psychol. 2017;8. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01619Attridge M.Jealousy and relationship closeness: exploring the good (Reactive) and bad (Suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy.SAGE Open. 2013;3(1):215824401347605. doi:10.1177/2158244013476054

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Parrott WG, Smith RH.Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy.J Pers Soc Psychol. 1993;64(6):906–920. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.64.6.906Hart S, Carrington H.Jealousy in 6-month-old infants.Infancy. 2002;3(3):395–402.Kingham M, Gordon H.Aspects of morbid jealousy.Adv psychiatr treat. 2004;10(3):207–215.Seeman MV.Pathological jealousy: an interactive condition.Psychiatry. 2016;79(4):379–388.Ramachandran VS, Jalal B.The evolutionary psychology of envy and jealousy.Front Psychol. 2017;8. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01619Attridge M.Jealousy and relationship closeness: exploring the good (Reactive) and bad (Suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy.SAGE Open. 2013;3(1):215824401347605. doi:10.1177/2158244013476054

Parrott WG, Smith RH.Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy.J Pers Soc Psychol. 1993;64(6):906–920. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.64.6.906

Hart S, Carrington H.Jealousy in 6-month-old infants.Infancy. 2002;3(3):395–402.

Kingham M, Gordon H.Aspects of morbid jealousy.Adv psychiatr treat. 2004;10(3):207–215.

Seeman MV.Pathological jealousy: an interactive condition.Psychiatry. 2016;79(4):379–388.

Ramachandran VS, Jalal B.The evolutionary psychology of envy and jealousy.Front Psychol. 2017;8. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01619

Attridge M.Jealousy and relationship closeness: exploring the good (Reactive) and bad (Suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy.SAGE Open. 2013;3(1):215824401347605. doi:10.1177/2158244013476054

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