Narcissistic abuse is a type ofemotional abusewhere the abuser only cares about themselves and may use words and actions to manipulate their partner’s behavior and emotional state.
Effects of narcissistic abuse can vary depending on how long one can endure these types of relationships. The effects range from mild to severe, with some survivors recovering while others may sustain lifelong damage.Here’s how narcissistic abuse can impact your life.
Anxiety
Many narcissistic abuse survivors live with anxiety. After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may experience extreme fear or anxiety in relationships with new people. Those who leave abusive relationships may experienceseparation anxiety, leading them to feel panicked and disoriented when they’re not with their abusers.
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Depression
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Post-Traumatic Stress
As a narcissistic abuse survivor, you will likely have symptoms ofpost-traumatic stress. Your brain will be on high alert, looking out for danger. This is because the traumatic events triggered afight or flight responsewithin you. As a result, anything associated with those memories can trigger an anxiety attack.
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may feel the need to be on guard 24/7. Victims of narcissists often mention that they never knew what their abuser was going to do next. You may struggle to relax because of chronic hypervigilance and expecting them (the abuser) to be around every corner.
You may also steer clear of certain situations or things that remind you of the abuse. This can range from avoiding certain places or particular people.
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Loss of Sense of Self and Self-Worth
You may feel as if you have completely lost yourself. Narcissistic abuse is a form of brainwashing, and as such, it can destroy yoursense of self-worth. You may no longer feel like the person you were before all this began.
In many cases, those who have experienced narcissistic abuse will struggle to recognize themselves in the mirror because they no longer see their true reflection staring back at them.
You may also have trust issues with other people (especially those closest to you), and constantly find yourself doubting or second-guessing yourself.
You may begin to feel like you are not good enough or that you did something to cause the abuse in the first place. This can lead to shame and embarrassment, which may often stop you from reaching out for help.
Narcissistic abusers will often try to derail your goals and aspirations. They want to control everything about you, down to the activities that made up who you were as a person.
Inability to Forgive Yourself
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, many victims struggle with feeling unworthy or believing that they deserve how the narcissist treated them. It may feel like there must be something inherently wrong with you if someone who was supposed toloveyou unconditionally used their power against you in such cruel ways. You might struggle with low self-esteem and believe that the narcissistic abuser would have treated you better if only you had done things differently.
You may also have trouble focusing on your goals and dreams. This could be because you’re still preoccupied with thoughts of what happened to you. Or, it could be that your sense of self-worth is so damaged, it’s difficult for you to believe that anything good can happen in your life anymore.
Physical Symptoms
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may live with physical symptoms, including headaches, stomachaches, or body aches. You may also havedifficulty sleepingafter experiencing narcissistic abuse. You may be stressed about what happened and find it difficult to shut off your brain at night. Or, you could end up havingnightmaresthat haunt you for days afterward.
Cognitive Problems
Emotional Lability
You might even feel the need to exact revenge against your abuser. But this hatred towards them only creates more stress and anxiety, which perpetuates mental health problems.
Effects on Children
If you have children who witnessed narcissistic abuse, they could also be at risk of developing mental health problems such asPTSD, anxiety disorders, or depression.They might become fearful in situations that remind them of their traumatic experiences. They might also feel angry at your spouse or the world, feel disconnected from other people, or have low self-esteem or confidence issues.
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Loss of Self-Worth
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you might feel like you don’t even know yourself anymore.You could start questioning your self-worth, have trust issues with other people (especially those closest to you), and constantly find yourself doubting or second-guessing yourself.
Stuck in a Cycle
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, many people find themselves stuck in a cycle where their abuser continues to contact them after the relationship has ended.
Trust Issues
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, your trust levels will likely be very low. While this can seem like a good thing (in some ways), it could also hinder your future relationships. This issue may lead to other problems such associal anxiety.
You might find yourself constantly wondering whether people are being truthful with you or if they are just manipulating your emotions to get what they want. You may become hypervigilant and overlysensitiveto criticism or judgment from others due to the fear of being betrayed yet again.
You may struggle with trust issues in all aspects of your life, includingpersonal relationships, friendships, work interactions, or even contact with family members. You may also experienceinsecure attachment, which means that you may constantly feel that people will leave or betray you.
People Pleasing
You may become apeople pleaserand try to make people like you. You may become overly accommodating to get approval from others after having had to walk on eggshells for so long.You might struggle with expressing your emotions and thoughts after narcissistic abuse because of the fear of being judged for what you say. To avoid confrontation from a narcissist abuser, you likely bottled up your feelings.
Self-Destructive Habits
Another effect of narcissistic abuse can beself-destructive habits. People who have been in relationships with narcissists often feel the need to punish themselves because they may feel as though they were at fault for their partner’s bad behavior toward them.
You may experience problems with addiction such as drinking, smoking, and even food addiction or overspending. These addictions may be a way to numb emotional pain.
How to Heal From Narcissistic Abuse
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How to Find a Narcissistic Abuse Support Group
A Word From Verywell
After being involved with someone narcissistic, you may find yourself developing one or more of these effects. You’ve likely developed some negative coping mechanisms, including people-pleasing behaviors and/or self-destructive habits after experiencing such an ordeal. These are common responses among those who go through situations like this, so know that there is nothing unusual about feeling the way you do.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Echoism: The Narcissism Response You Haven’t Heard of
4 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Howard V.Recognising Narcissistic Abuse and the Implications for Mental Health Nursing Practice.Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2019;40(8):644-654. doi:10.1080/01612840.2019.1590485
Jabeen F, Gerritsen C, Treur J.Healing the next generation: an adaptive agent model for the effects of parental narcissism.Brain Inform. 2021;8(1):4. Published 2021 Mar 2. doi:10.1186/s40708-020-00115-z
Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2020;7:19. Published 2020 Aug 14. doi:10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8
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