Drinking Alone Is a Red Flag...Or Is It? A Psychologist Explains

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsIs Drinking Alone Normal?Benefits to Drinking AloneRisks and ConcernsProblematic Signs of Solitary DrinkingDrinking ResponsiblySeeking Help and Support

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Is Drinking Alone Normal?

Benefits to Drinking Alone

Risks and Concerns

Problematic Signs of Solitary Drinking

Drinking Responsibly

Seeking Help and Support

A second glass of wine after dinner, a nightcap before bed, a beer at the end of the day, and a few trips to the bar before making it home. Your partner drinks, but they’ve never drunk like this before, and certainly not alone either. Naturally, you’re worried. But, are there grounds to be concerned?

We’ve all heard that drinking alone can be a red flag foralcohol addiction. But it’s not always that simple.

Noah Kass, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapistMany people believe drinking alone is a sign of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but it’s not that simple. You can certainly experience drinking alone in a healthy way, such as unwinding after a long day, eating dinner, or watching a show.

Noah Kass, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist

Many people believe drinking alone is a sign of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but it’s not that simple. You can certainly experience drinking alone in a healthy way, such as unwinding after a long day, eating dinner, or watching a show.

So, if your partner is enjoying a drink alone, it doesn’t automatically mean they have a drinking problem. But it’s definitely worth paying attention to, especially if there are signs that their relationship with alcohol might be heading down a more problematic path.

At a GlanceDrinking alone isn’t a sure sign that your partner has an alcohol use disorder. But if they’re drinking to cope with stress or numb emotions, it’s a good idea to have a frank and supportive conversation about it.If you’re concerned about your partner’s drinking, you might both benefit from speaking with a mental health professional—such as a couple’s therapist or an addiction counselor.

At a Glance

Drinking alone isn’t a sure sign that your partner has an alcohol use disorder. But if they’re drinking to cope with stress or numb emotions, it’s a good idea to have a frank and supportive conversation about it.If you’re concerned about your partner’s drinking, you might both benefit from speaking with a mental health professional—such as a couple’s therapist or an addiction counselor.

Drinking alone isn’t a sure sign that your partner has an alcohol use disorder. But if they’re drinking to cope with stress or numb emotions, it’s a good idea to have a frank and supportive conversation about it.

If you’re concerned about your partner’s drinking, you might both benefit from speaking with a mental health professional—such as a couple’s therapist or an addiction counselor.

Here’s the deal: just because someone drinks alone doesn’t mean they have an alcohol use disorder, but people with alcohol issues might be more likely to drink alone. Think of it like this—drinking solocanbe a symptom of a larger problem, but it’s not a guaranteed indicator.

Research backs this up. A large review of studies showed that, while solitary drinking can be linked to problematic drinking, it’s not always a direct cause.

A smaller survey found that solitary drinkers solely are more likely to drink alcohol for unhealthy reasons like coping with stress or tension. Meanwhile, social drinkers might sip on a cocktail to celebrate or have a good time.

Another review focused on teens and young adults reported that solitary drinking was associated with heavier drinking, alcohol problems, and using alcohol as a coping mechanism.

Solo Drinking Isn’t Always a Problem

But again, this doesn’t meaneveryonewho drinks alone has a problem. In many cultures, solo drinking—like having wine with dinner—is completely common and not necessarily unhealthy.

On the flip side, it’s important to remember that someone can have a social drinking routine and still drink in unhealthy ways—for example,binge drinkingor relying on alcohol to easesocial anxiety.

“Healthy drinking alone typically involves moderation and enjoyment,” says Kass. “It’s usually about relaxation or fun, not distraction or emotional escape.”

Are There Any Benefits to Drinking Alone?

Drinking alone isn’t always a red flag! There are many reasons why someone might prefer it. Maybe your partner is a craft beer enthusiast, or they really appreciate a good cocktail. Perhaps, they like drinking an occasional wine glass because it makes them feel better.

For some, drinking in social settings feels tiring or anxiety-inducing. They might just not feel comfortable drinking in front of others, and that’s okay! Sometimes, it’s about personal preference.

“Drinking can be a part of a healthy lifestyle if it is done in moderation and is not used as an escape from issues or emotions,” Villarreal says.

That said, drinking alone can become a concern if it’s being used as an escape from stress, loneliness, or emotional pain.

Risks and Concerns of Drinking Alone

Even if your partner’s drinking habits seem normal, there are still some practical risks to keep in mind when someone drinks alone:

If your partner regularly drinks alone, keep the lines of communication open. Staying judgment-free will make it easier for them to reach out—whether they need a ride home or just some support.

Signs of Problematic Drinking Alone

So, how do you know if your partner’s solo drinking is something to be concerned about? According to Kass and Villarreal, you might want to step in if:

It can be tricky to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy drinking. Often, it comes down towhyyour partner is drinking and the impact it has on their life, Villarreal says. Are they drinking to enjoy themselves, or are they trying to escape something?

Tip:That said, it’s not always easy to tellwhyyour partner drinks alone. For this reason, it’s a good idea to have an open, honest conversation with them, rather than making assumptions.

Understanding Alcoholism and the Signs of Severe Drinking Problems

How to Talk to Your Partner About Drinking Responsibly

Talking to your partner about their drinking can feel awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. The key is approaching the conversation with empathy and curiosity rather than judgment. No one wants to feel blamed or cornered.

Kass recommends starting the conversation with curiosity and empathy and asking about their drinking in a nonjudgmental way. “You want your partner to feel comfortable expressing their true feelings, rather than just telling you what they think you want to hear,” Kass advises.

Try asking open-ended questions like:

Questions like these open up the conversation without bringing in judgment and can possibly lead to a deeper understanding of how your partner views alcohol.

Remember, alcohol can sometimes act as a crutch, masking deeper challenges that need attention. If you’re feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor. And if your partner is open to it, professional help can be a game-changer.

How To Help Someone With A Drinking Problem

If you’re concerned about your partner’s drinking, know that you’re not navigating this alone. It’s totally okay to feel unsure or overwhelmed, but there’s help out there—both for you and your partner. Reaching out for support is a strong and positive step, whether you’re looking to help someone you love or you’re trying to understand your own feelings about their drinking.

If you’re looking for resources to help your partner—or even yourself—here are a few great places to start:

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

What Is the CRAFT Approach to Substance Abuse Intervention?

Your Partner’s Substance Abuse Hurts You, Too

As you’re supporting your partner, remember to take care of yourself, too. It’s okay to feel frustrated, confused, or even helpless sometimes, but having these resources—and maybe even reaching out for your own therapy or support—can help you navigate the situation with compassion and understanding.

Opening up the conversation with your partner might feel tough at first, but knowing there are professionals and support networks to back you both up can make all the difference.

And in the end, that’s what it’s all about: finding the help you need, so neither of you has to go through this alone.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.A systematic review and meta‐analysis on the association between solitary drinking and alcohol problems in adults.Addiction. 2021;116(9):2289-2303. doi:10.1111/add.15355Corbin WR, Waddell JT, Ladensack A, Scott C.I drink alone: Mechanisms of risk for alcohol problems in solitary drinkers.Addict Behav. 2020;102:106147. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2019.106147Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.Associations between solitary drinking and increased alcohol consumption, alcohol problems, and drinking to cope motives in adolescents and young adults: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2020;115(11):1989-2007. doi:10.1111/add.15055Gilman JM, Ramchandani VA, Davis MB, Bjork JM, Hommer DW.Why we like to drink: a functional magnetic resonance imaging study of the rewarding and anxiolytic effects of alcohol.J Neurosci. 2008;28(18):4583-4591. doi:10.1523/JNEUROSCI.0086-08.2008

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.A systematic review and meta‐analysis on the association between solitary drinking and alcohol problems in adults.Addiction. 2021;116(9):2289-2303. doi:10.1111/add.15355Corbin WR, Waddell JT, Ladensack A, Scott C.I drink alone: Mechanisms of risk for alcohol problems in solitary drinkers.Addict Behav. 2020;102:106147. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2019.106147Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.Associations between solitary drinking and increased alcohol consumption, alcohol problems, and drinking to cope motives in adolescents and young adults: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2020;115(11):1989-2007. doi:10.1111/add.15055Gilman JM, Ramchandani VA, Davis MB, Bjork JM, Hommer DW.Why we like to drink: a functional magnetic resonance imaging study of the rewarding and anxiolytic effects of alcohol.J Neurosci. 2008;28(18):4583-4591. doi:10.1523/JNEUROSCI.0086-08.2008

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.A systematic review and meta‐analysis on the association between solitary drinking and alcohol problems in adults.Addiction. 2021;116(9):2289-2303. doi:10.1111/add.15355Corbin WR, Waddell JT, Ladensack A, Scott C.I drink alone: Mechanisms of risk for alcohol problems in solitary drinkers.Addict Behav. 2020;102:106147. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2019.106147Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.Associations between solitary drinking and increased alcohol consumption, alcohol problems, and drinking to cope motives in adolescents and young adults: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2020;115(11):1989-2007. doi:10.1111/add.15055Gilman JM, Ramchandani VA, Davis MB, Bjork JM, Hommer DW.Why we like to drink: a functional magnetic resonance imaging study of the rewarding and anxiolytic effects of alcohol.J Neurosci. 2008;28(18):4583-4591. doi:10.1523/JNEUROSCI.0086-08.2008

Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.A systematic review and meta‐analysis on the association between solitary drinking and alcohol problems in adults.Addiction. 2021;116(9):2289-2303. doi:10.1111/add.15355

Corbin WR, Waddell JT, Ladensack A, Scott C.I drink alone: Mechanisms of risk for alcohol problems in solitary drinkers.Addict Behav. 2020;102:106147. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2019.106147

Skrzynski CJ, Creswell KG.Associations between solitary drinking and increased alcohol consumption, alcohol problems, and drinking to cope motives in adolescents and young adults: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2020;115(11):1989-2007. doi:10.1111/add.15055

Gilman JM, Ramchandani VA, Davis MB, Bjork JM, Hommer DW.Why we like to drink: a functional magnetic resonance imaging study of the rewarding and anxiolytic effects of alcohol.J Neurosci. 2008;28(18):4583-4591. doi:10.1523/JNEUROSCI.0086-08.2008

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