Dreams About Cheating: Why They Happen and What to Do

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsAbout DreamingMeaning of Cheating DreamsWhat to Do

Table of ContentsView All

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Table of Contents

About Dreaming

Meaning of Cheating Dreams

What to Do

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Have you had asexual dreamin which you cheated on your partner? The other person could have been a stranger, celebrity, someone you’re close to, or even a former partner. If so, you’re not alone because dreams about cheating are quite common according toSarah Gundle, PsyD, a clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York City.

Even if your relationship with your current partner is rock-solid and the thought of cheating has never crossed your mind, having a dream that you were with someone else can leave you feeling quite shaken. You might feel confused, disturbed, or even guilty, says Dr. Gundle.

If this has happened to you, it can be helpful to understandhow to interpret dreamsand the many potential explanations for dreams about cheating. We also provide steps you can take to explore the meaning behindyourdreams, and whether to discuss them with your partner.

Facts About Dreaming

Everyone dreams in their sleep—regardless of whether they can remember their dreams or having dreamt at all.We typically spend around two hours dreaming every night, usually during therapid eye movement (REM) periods of sleep. Dreams can feel extremely lifelike because they can involve sensations like touch, taste, smell, sound, and emotions.

While there are many different theories aboutwhy we dream, the exact reasons for this phenomenon are still unknown. However, dreaming is believed to help us process our emotions, consolidate our memories, and develop greater personal insights.

It’s common for events and people from our day-to-day lives to appear in our dreams. Stressful or traumatic situations that cause anxiety or threaten our sense of well-being can cause us to have bad dreams.When we have bad dreams, such asdreams about cheating, it can evoke a strong and unpleasant emotional response.

What Dreams About Cheating Mean

Dreams are rarely about what they seem on the surface, or even about the people you encountered in your dream, says Dr. Gundle. “Dreams are clues from ourunconscious mind to our conscious mind; however, they are more useful as metaphors than as indicators of desire.”

Dr. Gundle adds that having dreams about cheating doesn’t necessarily indicate that you’re unhappy in your current relationship, want to cheat on your current partner, or have any desire to be with the person you dreamt about. Instead, dreams about cheating could actually be about:

Feelings About Dreams vs. Dream Details

When analyzing dreams in therapy sessions, Dr. Gundle says that the concrete details of the dream are less important. What’s of greater interest is the feelings that the dream stirs up.

On the other hand, if you dreamt that you cheated with someone because you were attracted to a certain quality of theirs, it could indicate that you wish you, your partner, or someone in your life, had that quality too.

Press Play for Advice On Dream Interpretation

What to Do If You Have Dreams About Cheating

These are some steps you can take if you’re having dreams about cheating.

Maintain a Dream Diary

Maintaining a dream diary not only assists with recall, but can also help you track patterns in your dreams and identify recurring elements, themes, and feelings. Additionally, it can give you an opportunity to reflect on your dreams while in a waking state, so you can explore how you feel about them.

Decide Whether to Tell Your Partner

If you’re in a committed relationship, you may wonderwhether or not you should tell your partnerabout your dream. You may feel guilty, even if the thought of cheating hadn’t crossed your mind. You might also worry about your partner’s reaction, as they may take it to mean you’refantasizing about someone elseor that you’re thinking of cheating on them, and get upset or angry with you.

It can be even trickier if the person is someone you know because it can not only alter the dynamics between you and them, but it can also affect your partner’s relationship with them. Your partner may feel threatened or become hostile toward them. However, Dr. Gundle explains that dreaming about someone you know doesn’t necessarily mean that you are attracted to them or want to be in a relationship with them.

We often use people who are very safe figures in our lives as placeholders in dreams. So, rather than speak to a wish to cheat on your partner with that person, dreaming about them might actually indicate how safe that relationship is.—SARAH GUNDLE, PSYD, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

We often use people who are very safe figures in our lives as placeholders in dreams. So, rather than speak to a wish to cheat on your partner with that person, dreaming about them might actually indicate how safe that relationship is.

—SARAH GUNDLE, PSYD, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

Seek Therapy

If your dream has disturbed you and you need help processing the emotions it’s stirring up, or if the dream recurs and you want to understand what’s causing it, it can be helpful toseek therapy.

Therapy is a useful tool to mine insights from your dreams and explore your feelings, says Dr. Gundle. It can also help you become more aware of the conflicts that your subconscious mind is grappling with, and equip you withcoping skillsto navigate them more effectively.

A Word From Verywell

Dreams about cheating on your partner can be unsettling and stir up a lot ofnegative emotions, including confusion, guilt, and distress. However, having these dreams doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re attracted to someone else or want to cheat on your partner.

Dreams are often metaphorical in nature. So, it can be helpful to reflect on how your dreams make you feel to better understand what they’re trying to tell you.

Why People Have Similar Dreams

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Dal Sacco D.Dream recall frequency and psychosomatics.Acta Biomed. 2022;93(2):e2022046. doi:10.23750/abm.v93i2.11218

Coutts R.Variation in the frequency of relationship characters in the dream reports of singles: a survey of 15,657 visitors to an online dating website.Comprehen Psychol. 2015;4:09.CP.4.22. doi:10.2466/09.CP.4.22

Harvard Medical School.Nightmares and the brain.

Mangiaruga A, Scarpelli S, Bartolacci C, De Gennaro L.Spotlight on dream recall: the ages of dreams.Nat Sci Sleep. 2018;10:1-12. doi:10.2147/NSS.S135762

National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.Brain basics: Understanding sleep.

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