Couples with age gaps between approximately 5-15 years are estimated to make up8.5% of the American population. An older man with a younger woman is the more common scenario with only 1.3% of couples being composed of an older woman and younger man.Canadian datareveals that age gap relationships are more prevalent for same-sex couples, with 26% of male and 18% of female duos involving an age gap.
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Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
The reasons for these differences are largely speculative. Is it an evolutionary instinct to reproduce with someone younger? Is it because an older partner provides more financial security? Or does love just work in mysterious ways? Whatever the reason for getting together, however, staying together might require some extra work.
The challenges for age gap relationships are external, based on how others perceive them, and internal, as individuals deal with different life stages. The silver lining is that when couples work through age gap issues,studies findthat they can have greater marital satisfaction than similar-aged couples. By understanding when your issues are a result of an age difference, and not a fractured love connection, you can lowerstresswhile strengthening your bond.
The Influence of Society on Age Gap Relationships
Although astudy on age preferencesfound that men and women are generally open to age gaps in their own future relationships,another studyfound that we’re less understanding when it comes to someone else’s relationship. It’s a bit hypocritical, isn’t it? Many people disapprove of these relationships from a moral standpoint and others fundamentally don’t believe that they’ll be successful. The results are much harsher when it comes to couples with an older woman and a younger man.
Dealing With Different Life Stages
Between the two partners in an age-gap relationship, there can be friction based on power imbalances and clashing personal values. For example, an older partner might have traditional beliefs about relationships while the younger has more progressive ones. Finding common ground and updating your values so that they work for both partners will be essential.
One of the theories for age-gap relationships between older men and younger women is that it’s based on evolution. With this kind of match, the theory goes that the male partner has accumulated wealth to support the family, which takes more time, and the woman is in her prime reproductive years. It sounds old-fashioned, butstudies showthat these relationships rooted in traditional roles — maybe surprisingly, maybeverysurprisingly — are associated with higher life satisfaction.
An issue that can arise, however, is when one partner is ready for children while the other wants to wait. The younger woman may feel pressured to get pregnant before she’s ready, or, with an older woman and younger man, the man might not feel ready. Another scenario is when the younger man wants children but the older woman doesn’t. It’s not uncommon for different opinions about when, or if, to have a family; these differences of opinion can and do affect a couple’s relationship, but the conversation might be introduced even earlier in a relationship when there’s an age gap.
Yes, there will be time between the two people’s birthdays, but less time to talk about important topics. If any of these issues are starting to arise, don’t hesitate to find acouples counselorwho’s knowledgeable but non-judgemental about age gap relationships. And remember, relationships come in all shapes and sizes and you shouldn’t let the opinions of others impact your feelings for your partner if the coupling works!
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