Do You Wish Your Partner Would Stop Teasing You?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy People TeaseKeeping Teasing PositiveCoping With TeasingRecognizing Verbal Abuse

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why People Tease

Keeping Teasing Positive

Coping With Teasing

Recognizing Verbal Abuse

Close

Some psychologists believe that teasing is an important tool inbuilding healthy relationships.The more satisfied a couple is with their partnership, the more playful they can become.However, since teasing is ambiguous, the desired effect can backfire. Additionally, people respond differently to teasing.

Even if said in jest, some jokes and forms of teasing are just not funny or acceptable. For many people, some areas of life are considered off-limits when it comes to teasing and joking.

Even though you know your partner well, your teasing can still be offensive and can hurt your relationship. Cutting remarks can wound deeply.

Why People Tease in Relationships

Just as teasing can have both positive and negative consequences, it can also be the result of positive or negative intentions.

On the positive side, teasing can be a way of showing love and affection. For some, teasing is a habit and a way of interacting with people. You might notice that your partner just tends to tease people that they care about as a way of expressing affection and closeness.

However, teasing or joking in a relationship can also come from a negative place. Teasing may be a power play or a way of asserting dominance in a relationship. It can also be a way to try to be the center of attention.

Other reasons why people tease include:

Teasing that once felt harmless can also take on a different meaning because something about the situation has changed. You might feel differently about the subject or have had experiences that have affected how you feel about yourself or the situation. The problem is that your partner may not recognize or understand these changes.

Recap

Keep Teasing in Relationships Positive

All of us have sensitive areas or weak spots in ourself-esteem, so if your spouse or partner objects to your teasing, take responsibility for any hurt feelings and apologize. Shifting blame and saying that they need to “learn to take a joke” or “shouldn’t be so sensitive" just makes the situation more uncomfortable and could damage an otherwise healthy relationship.

Here are a few more tips to make sure that teasing creates positive feelings for you and your partner:

7 Signs You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated in Your Relationship

Coping With Teasing in Relationships

If teasing is having a negative impact on you and your relationship, there are steps you can take to help make it stop.

In addition to discussing why these teasing remarks are hurtful, work together to come up with ways you can address the problem. If teasing in your relationship seems like a sign of a deeper issue, consider talking to a marriage counselor.

Talking to Your Partner About Difficult Topics

Recognizing Teasing vs. Verbal Abuse

At times, when people are “just teasing” or “just joking,” they are really just hiding behind these words to get away with mean or manipulative behavior. In these instances, the teasing can cross the line and become abusive.

The following red flags may indicate that the teasing is in fact an excuse for verbal abuse:

The key is being able to recognize good-natured, healthy teasing from teasing that attacks.If your partner doesn’t stop teasing when you ask, or if the teasing becomes even more vindictive and hurtful after you’ve discussed it, then there could be some serious problems in your marriage, including emotional abuse, that require professional help.

How to Recognize Verbal Abuse

A Word From Verywell

If joking too much in a relationship is taking a toll or leading to hurt feelings, it is time to have a serious conversation with your partner. Such discussions can be difficult, but they can also help strengthen your bond and communication. Addressing the issue now can also prevent it from escalating into a deeper problem that causes serious harm to your relationship.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Keltner D.Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. New York: W.W. Norton & Company; 2009.Proyer, RT.To love and play: Testing the association of adult playfulness with the relationship personality and relationship satisfaction.Curr Psychol. 2014;33:501. doi:10.1007/s12144-014-9225-6Office on Women’s Health.Emotional and Verbal Abuse. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.Mills, CB, Muckleroy Carwile, A.The good, the bad, and the borderline: Separating teasing from bullying.Comm Educ. 2009;58:276-301. doi:10.1080/03634520902783666

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Keltner D.Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. New York: W.W. Norton & Company; 2009.Proyer, RT.To love and play: Testing the association of adult playfulness with the relationship personality and relationship satisfaction.Curr Psychol. 2014;33:501. doi:10.1007/s12144-014-9225-6Office on Women’s Health.Emotional and Verbal Abuse. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.Mills, CB, Muckleroy Carwile, A.The good, the bad, and the borderline: Separating teasing from bullying.Comm Educ. 2009;58:276-301. doi:10.1080/03634520902783666

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Keltner D.Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. New York: W.W. Norton & Company; 2009.Proyer, RT.To love and play: Testing the association of adult playfulness with the relationship personality and relationship satisfaction.Curr Psychol. 2014;33:501. doi:10.1007/s12144-014-9225-6Office on Women’s Health.Emotional and Verbal Abuse. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.Mills, CB, Muckleroy Carwile, A.The good, the bad, and the borderline: Separating teasing from bullying.Comm Educ. 2009;58:276-301. doi:10.1080/03634520902783666

Keltner D.Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. New York: W.W. Norton & Company; 2009.

Proyer, RT.To love and play: Testing the association of adult playfulness with the relationship personality and relationship satisfaction.Curr Psychol. 2014;33:501. doi:10.1007/s12144-014-9225-6

Office on Women’s Health.Emotional and Verbal Abuse. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.

Mills, CB, Muckleroy Carwile, A.The good, the bad, and the borderline: Separating teasing from bullying.Comm Educ. 2009;58:276-301. doi:10.1080/03634520902783666

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