Do You Have a Savior Complex? What to Do Next

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow Do You Know If You Have a Savior Complex?Causes and Consequences of a Savior ComplexStrategies for Overcoming the Savior Complex

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How Do You Know If You Have a Savior Complex?

Causes and Consequences of a Savior Complex

Strategies for Overcoming the Savior Complex

Helpful. Cooperative. Giving. Compassionate.

If someone uses those words to describe you, it’s usually meant as a compliment. And you’d likely take it that way. After all, it’s important to help others, and not just think of yourself. But when tending to the needs of others overshadows taking care of your own needs, it may be more than just showing kindness. You could be struggling with a savior complex.

“Someone has a savior complex if they have a desire or control to assist people so much that they might neglect their own well-being to do so. The term describes someone who feels they have a mission to fulfill based on what they consider their special capabilities,” explains Cassandra Boduch, MD, Chief Medical Officer,PsychPlus. “A savior complex can also be known as a messiah complex or white knight syndrome,” she adds.

At a GlanceWhile a “Savior Complex” is not a formally diagnosable condition, some mental health professional find the concept clinically useful. The motivation behind the savior complex impacts you mentally and emotionally. You get your sense of purpose from helping or “saving” others. And if it goes to far, it can have a negative impact on your daily life and overall wellness.If you are a helpful, caring person, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you suffer from a savior complex. There are specific signs to be aware of. We take a look at what the signs are, the causes of a savior complex, and what steps you can take to overcome this in your life if you’re struggling. Ultimately, being a little more selfish sometimes can help.

At a Glance

While a “Savior Complex” is not a formally diagnosable condition, some mental health professional find the concept clinically useful. The motivation behind the savior complex impacts you mentally and emotionally. You get your sense of purpose from helping or “saving” others. And if it goes to far, it can have a negative impact on your daily life and overall wellness.If you are a helpful, caring person, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you suffer from a savior complex. There are specific signs to be aware of. We take a look at what the signs are, the causes of a savior complex, and what steps you can take to overcome this in your life if you’re struggling. Ultimately, being a little more selfish sometimes can help.

If you are a helpful, caring person, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you suffer from a savior complex. There are specific signs to be aware of. We take a look at what the signs are, the causes of a savior complex, and what steps you can take to overcome this in your life if you’re struggling. Ultimately, being a little more selfish sometimes can help.

Martyr Complex: What It Means and How to Overcome It

Countless sources, from magazine articles towellnessgurus to scientific studies, say helping others is a way to help you feel happier and more fulfilled.Even the cliché “it’s better to give than to receive” is often touted as a key to longevity and feeling good about yourself. Dealing with a savior complex, however, goes beyond just being good to others. You are, instead, helping others at the expense of helping yourself.

Signs include:

What are some other actions and reactions you may show when you have a savior complex?

Overcoming Resentment in Relationships

“Being ‘parentified’ or forced to take on adult or parent-like responsibilities during childhood” is another cause, explains Guarino. “An example of being parentified is a child growing up with the responsibility of caring for an alcoholic parent.”

Low self-esteemcan also lead to having a savior complex. No matter the cause, the consequences of taking on a savior role can impact every area of your life.

The intense focus on constantly pushing yourself to please others can wreak wreaks havoc on your mental health.

“[Those with savior syndrome] are very hard on themselves and self-scrutinize their work constantly which makes it hard for them to celebrate their wins. This harsh self-scrutiny leads them to become workhorses because the work they produce is never felt as good enough. This is partly why I see this in high-functioning depression,” statesJudith Joseph, MD, MBA, Board Certified Psychiatrist and Researcher, and Chair of Women in Medicine Initiative at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons.

You can end up feel overwhelmed, resentful, angry, and misused. If you feel like any of this describes you, you’re not alone.

The first step to making a change is recognizing these behaviors in your life. But if your self-worth is tied to always helping someone else, it can be challenging to overcome.

Taking responsibility for your actions, and your part in struggling with savior syndrome, is key. Why do you feel it’s necessary to help others at the expense of yourself, all the time? What is your motivation? An introspective look at yourself may help you uncover the cause of your actions.

Then work on taking care of yourself. That means strengthening your sense of self-worth and your self-esteem. Decide that others’ approval and validation won’t be your exclusive focus. Determine what else brings you love and value—whether it’s a higher power,spirituality, following your passions and creativity, living a healthy lifestyle or another focus in your life. Create your own goals and build in time to work on achieving them.

Take time forself-care. Make it a priority. Schedule it in. And then stick to your schedule.

Finally, set clear, decisive boundaries. Learn that “no” is a complete sentence. Recognize that some people who benefitted from your savior complex won’t like to hear it. And be okay with that fact.

Of course, there may be times when you have to drop everything to help someone or make a decision to put aside your own plans for someone else’s. But being aware of the reasons behind your actions, and not taking your desire to help to an extreme, makes all the difference.

1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Titova L, Sheldon KM.Happiness comes from trying to make others feel good, rather than oneself.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2022;17(3):341-355.

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Titova L, Sheldon KM.Happiness comes from trying to make others feel good, rather than oneself.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2022;17(3):341-355.

Titova L, Sheldon KM.Happiness comes from trying to make others feel good, rather than oneself.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2022;17(3):341-355.

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At a Glance