Dealing With Depression After a Breakup

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSymptomsCausesDiagnosisTreatmentCoping

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Symptoms

Causes

Diagnosis

Treatment

Coping

Breakups can take a serious toll on your well-being. Not only can theend of a relationshiplead to major life changes in finances and living situations, but breakups also create a great deal of emotional turmoil. Some splits are easier than others. You might be able to let go and move on fairly quickly. In other cases, you might feel angry, sad, bitter, anxious, and heartbroken.

All of these emotions can be perfectly normal after a romantic breakup—but if they lead to prolonged feelings of sadness or apathy and significant impairment in areas of life functioning, this might be a sign that something more serious is going on. Stressful life events such as a breakup or divorce can sometimes trigger prolonged and severeemotional distress.

One study found that even normal post-breakup emotional states closely resembleclinical depression.

Experiencing depressive and other symptoms following the end of a relationship is sometimes diagnosed as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood, also sometimes referred to assituational depression. Because these feelings with adjustment disorders can last six months to two years, it is important to understand the signs and symptoms so that you can find help and support if you need it.

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Symptoms of Breakup Depression

Feelings of sadness can vary from mild to severe after a breakup. Sometimes these feelings can be strong for a relatively brief period of time. In other cases, people might feel a range of mild to strong feelings of sadness that fluctuate and linger for a longer period of time.

Because emotional responses to a breakup can vary so greatly, it can be difficult to discern when to reach out for additional support. More serious symptoms that may indicate depression include:

Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Responses may include a period of mourning, sadness, frustration, bargaining, anger, denial, and regret. It is a period of adjustment, so you grant yourself as much time as needed to feel what you feel, process, and heal. While upsetting, these feelings usually start to shift with time as you heal and recover mentally, emotionally, and relationally from the breakup.

If your symptoms seem more serious than normal sadness after a breakup or if your symptoms seem to be getting worse, talk to your doctor about what you are feeling.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

How to Recognize Symptoms of Depression

Causes of Depression After Breakup

As a form of situational depression, the end of a relationship is what triggers these feelings. A breakup can be a point of major change in a person’s life. Not only does it mean no longer being involved with someone you once loved, but it can also lead to an entire cascade of life changes.

Shared friends may choose sides, which can lead to the end of other relationships. You might have to adjust your finances, your living situation, or even cope with the challenges of co-parenting children with your ex.

Breakups can also influence how you view yourself.

One study found that the end of romantic relationships influenced how university students felt about their own academic performance, including their ability to concentrate, their homework, and test scores.

Another study found that breakups not only altered self-concept but that people who have a greater disruption in their self-image are also more likely to experience more post-breakup emotional distress.

All of these adjustments can be challenging. They can make you feel confused, insecure, anxious, and sad. And in some cases, it may trigger more severe and longer-lasting symptoms of depression.

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Diagnosis of Depression After Breakup

Breakup depression is not an actual medical term or diagnosis, but this does not mean that what you are feeling after a breakup does not represent a real condition.

If you decide to talk to your doctor or mental health professional about it, they may ask you a number of questions about your symptoms including their duration, frequency, and intensity.

Depending on your symptoms, your doctor might diagnose you with adjustment disorder with depressed mood (sometimes referred to as situational depression). Adjustment disorders are conditions that can occur when you have marked distress or difficulty functioning following a stressful life event.

To be diagnosed with this condition according to DSM-5, you must:

Different Types of Depression

If your symptoms are more severe or if you just feel that you need a little extra help coping, talk to your doctor or therapist. Counseling can be helpful to help you gain perspective, address negative thought patterns, and establish coping skills that may help you both now and in the future.

If your symptoms are severe or do not seem to be improving, your doctor may also prescribe medications such as antidepressants that can help.

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

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We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Coping With Depression After Breakup

Whether you’re are having normalpost-breakup sadnessor something more serious, there are things that you can do to make it easier to cope once a relationship ends. While there is no way to predict who will experience breakup depression, there are things that you can do to helpmake yourself more resilientto stressful events.

Some things you can do include:

Research has also shown that writing about what you are feeling or positive experiences can improve coping after a traumatic event.

Exercising and spending time with friends can also be a great way to elevate your mood and cope with post-breakup stress. Research has also shown that writing about what you are feeling or positive experiences can improve coping after a traumatic event.

Breakups can interrupt your sense of personal agency and even challenge your self-concept.Focusing your attention on the aspects of your life where you do have more control, such as your work or your hobbies, can help you restore your sense of mastery and help you feel more empowered.

A Word From Verywell

The end of an intimate bond can signal a whole host of life changes. Sometimes these changes can be a good thing—it can lead to personal growth or moving on to a relationship that is more supportive and loving.

In some cases, they can result inlingering feelings of depression. While it is normal to be sad or even heartbroken for a while after a breakup, you should talk to a professional if your symptoms seem to be stronger or lasting longer than you would normally expect. Focus on taking care of yourself, reach out to friends and family for support, and don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor if your symptoms seem to be worsening.

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10 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Verhallen AM, Renken RJ, Marsman JC, Ter Horst GJ.Romantic relationship breakup: An experimental model to study effects of stress on depression (-like) symptoms.PLoS ONE. 2019;14(5):e0217320. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0217320National Institutes of Mental Health.Depression basics.Field T.Romantic breakup distress, betrayal and heartbreak: a review.Int J Behav Res Psychol. 2017;5(2):217-225. doi:10.19070/2332-3000-1700038Field T, Diego M, Pelaez M, Deeds O, Delgado J.Breakup effects on university students' perceived academic performance.Coll Stud J. 2012;46(3): 615-619.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Impact of the DSM-IV to DSM-5 changes on the National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Table 3.19: DSM-IV to DSM-5 adjustment disorders comparison.CBHSQ Methodology Report. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality.Maercker A, Lorenz L.Adjustment disorder diagnosis: Improving clinical utility.World J Biol Psychiatry. 2018;19(sup1):S3-S13. doi:10.1080/15622975.2018.1449967Hollenbaugh KMH, Strauss LM, Feldmann TM, Oyeniyi O, Vashisht K.An exploration of counselors’ beliefs and approaches for relationship loss.J Loss Trauma. 2020;25(2):159-172. doi:10.1080/15325024.2019.1664126Mckiernan A, Ryan P, Mcmahon E, Butler E.Qualitative analysis of interactions on an online discussion forum for young people with experience of romantic relationship breakup.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2017;20(2):78-82. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450Roepke AM, Benson L, Tsukayama E, Yaden DB.Prospective writing: randomized controlled trial of an intervention for facilitating growth after adversity.J Posit Psychol. 2018;13(6):627-642. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450Doering J.Face, accounts, and schemes in the context of relationship breakups.Symb Interact. 2010;33(1):71-95. doi:10.1525/si.2010.33.1.71

10 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Verhallen AM, Renken RJ, Marsman JC, Ter Horst GJ.Romantic relationship breakup: An experimental model to study effects of stress on depression (-like) symptoms.PLoS ONE. 2019;14(5):e0217320. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0217320National Institutes of Mental Health.Depression basics.Field T.Romantic breakup distress, betrayal and heartbreak: a review.Int J Behav Res Psychol. 2017;5(2):217-225. doi:10.19070/2332-3000-1700038Field T, Diego M, Pelaez M, Deeds O, Delgado J.Breakup effects on university students' perceived academic performance.Coll Stud J. 2012;46(3): 615-619.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Impact of the DSM-IV to DSM-5 changes on the National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Table 3.19: DSM-IV to DSM-5 adjustment disorders comparison.CBHSQ Methodology Report. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality.Maercker A, Lorenz L.Adjustment disorder diagnosis: Improving clinical utility.World J Biol Psychiatry. 2018;19(sup1):S3-S13. doi:10.1080/15622975.2018.1449967Hollenbaugh KMH, Strauss LM, Feldmann TM, Oyeniyi O, Vashisht K.An exploration of counselors’ beliefs and approaches for relationship loss.J Loss Trauma. 2020;25(2):159-172. doi:10.1080/15325024.2019.1664126Mckiernan A, Ryan P, Mcmahon E, Butler E.Qualitative analysis of interactions on an online discussion forum for young people with experience of romantic relationship breakup.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2017;20(2):78-82. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450Roepke AM, Benson L, Tsukayama E, Yaden DB.Prospective writing: randomized controlled trial of an intervention for facilitating growth after adversity.J Posit Psychol. 2018;13(6):627-642. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450Doering J.Face, accounts, and schemes in the context of relationship breakups.Symb Interact. 2010;33(1):71-95. doi:10.1525/si.2010.33.1.71

Verhallen AM, Renken RJ, Marsman JC, Ter Horst GJ.Romantic relationship breakup: An experimental model to study effects of stress on depression (-like) symptoms.PLoS ONE. 2019;14(5):e0217320. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0217320National Institutes of Mental Health.Depression basics.Field T.Romantic breakup distress, betrayal and heartbreak: a review.Int J Behav Res Psychol. 2017;5(2):217-225. doi:10.19070/2332-3000-1700038Field T, Diego M, Pelaez M, Deeds O, Delgado J.Breakup effects on university students' perceived academic performance.Coll Stud J. 2012;46(3): 615-619.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Impact of the DSM-IV to DSM-5 changes on the National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Table 3.19: DSM-IV to DSM-5 adjustment disorders comparison.CBHSQ Methodology Report. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality.Maercker A, Lorenz L.Adjustment disorder diagnosis: Improving clinical utility.World J Biol Psychiatry. 2018;19(sup1):S3-S13. doi:10.1080/15622975.2018.1449967Hollenbaugh KMH, Strauss LM, Feldmann TM, Oyeniyi O, Vashisht K.An exploration of counselors’ beliefs and approaches for relationship loss.J Loss Trauma. 2020;25(2):159-172. doi:10.1080/15325024.2019.1664126Mckiernan A, Ryan P, Mcmahon E, Butler E.Qualitative analysis of interactions on an online discussion forum for young people with experience of romantic relationship breakup.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2017;20(2):78-82. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450Roepke AM, Benson L, Tsukayama E, Yaden DB.Prospective writing: randomized controlled trial of an intervention for facilitating growth after adversity.J Posit Psychol. 2018;13(6):627-642. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450Doering J.Face, accounts, and schemes in the context of relationship breakups.Symb Interact. 2010;33(1):71-95. doi:10.1525/si.2010.33.1.71

National Institutes of Mental Health.Depression basics.

Field T.Romantic breakup distress, betrayal and heartbreak: a review.Int J Behav Res Psychol. 2017;5(2):217-225. doi:10.19070/2332-3000-1700038

Field T, Diego M, Pelaez M, Deeds O, Delgado J.Breakup effects on university students' perceived academic performance.Coll Stud J. 2012;46(3): 615-619.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Impact of the DSM-IV to DSM-5 changes on the National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Table 3.19: DSM-IV to DSM-5 adjustment disorders comparison.CBHSQ Methodology Report. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality.

Maercker A, Lorenz L.Adjustment disorder diagnosis: Improving clinical utility.World J Biol Psychiatry. 2018;19(sup1):S3-S13. doi:10.1080/15622975.2018.1449967

Hollenbaugh KMH, Strauss LM, Feldmann TM, Oyeniyi O, Vashisht K.An exploration of counselors’ beliefs and approaches for relationship loss.J Loss Trauma. 2020;25(2):159-172. doi:10.1080/15325024.2019.1664126

Mckiernan A, Ryan P, Mcmahon E, Butler E.Qualitative analysis of interactions on an online discussion forum for young people with experience of romantic relationship breakup.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2017;20(2):78-82. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450

Roepke AM, Benson L, Tsukayama E, Yaden DB.Prospective writing: randomized controlled trial of an intervention for facilitating growth after adversity.J Posit Psychol. 2018;13(6):627-642. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0450

Doering J.Face, accounts, and schemes in the context of relationship breakups.Symb Interact. 2010;33(1):71-95. doi:10.1525/si.2010.33.1.71

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Symptoms of Breakup Depression#

Causes of Depression After Breakup#

Diagnosis of Depression After Breakup#

Get Help Now#

Coping With Depression After Breakup#

A Word From Verywell#