Dating Someone With Anxiety

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsLearn About Anxiety DisordersTypes of AnxietySupporting Your PartnerHow to Cope

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Learn About Anxiety Disorders

Types of Anxiety

Supporting Your Partner

How to Cope

Close

If you are dating someone withanxiety, it’s understandable that you might have some concerns. Watching someone experience anxiety can be upsetting, and can even make you anxious or uneasy, whether or not you are prone to anxiety yourself.

You might also have concerns about the future of your relationship. How will your partner’s anxiety affect your day-to-day life together? What can you do for them if they begin to experience ananxiety spiral or a panic attack? Will you be able to cope with it all?

At a GlanceDating someone with anxiety can come with some challenges. Learning more about the condition and finding healthy ways to support your partner can help. Some things you can do include recognizing triggers, listening with an open mind, and providing comfort. Therapy can help people with anxiety find relief, so consider encouraging your partner to seek help.Let’s take a look at the ins and outs of dating someone with anxiety—what to know about anxiety disorders, how anxiety affects intimate relationships, and how you can be a supportive partner to someone with anxiety.

At a Glance

Dating someone with anxiety can come with some challenges. Learning more about the condition and finding healthy ways to support your partner can help. Some things you can do include recognizing triggers, listening with an open mind, and providing comfort. Therapy can help people with anxiety find relief, so consider encouraging your partner to seek help.Let’s take a look at the ins and outs of dating someone with anxiety—what to know about anxiety disorders, how anxiety affects intimate relationships, and how you can be a supportive partner to someone with anxiety.

Dating someone with anxiety can come with some challenges. Learning more about the condition and finding healthy ways to support your partner can help. Some things you can do include recognizing triggers, listening with an open mind, and providing comfort. Therapy can help people with anxiety find relief, so consider encouraging your partner to seek help.

Let’s take a look at the ins and outs of dating someone with anxiety—what to know about anxiety disorders, how anxiety affects intimate relationships, and how you can be a supportive partner to someone with anxiety.

How Has Increased Openness About Mental Health Impacted Dating?

Take Some Time to Learn About Anxiety Disorders

One of the simplest, most supportive things you can do if you are dating someone with anxiety is to learn a bit about anxiety and aboutanxiety disorders.

Many of us have an idea of what it means to have anxiety that may not be in line with what it’s actually like, so it can be helpful to get some clarity. Understanding anxiety will also help make youmore empathetic.

Prevalence

First, it can be helpful to know that anxiety is quite common, and almost all of us will experience an anxiety disorder at one point or another in our lives.

The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that in the past year, 19% of adults experienced an anxiety disorder and that 31% of adults will experience an anxiety disorder in their lifetime.Additionally, anxiety disorders are more likely to affect women than men.

People who experience anxiety often have a genetic propensity toward the disorder, and anxiety disorders often run in families.Environmental factors and chemical imbalances may also play a role.

Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety manifests in different ways for different people. Not everyone who has anxiety comes across as a “nervous” person. Some people who experience anxiety may even appear calm on the outside but experience their symptoms more internally.

Although having anxiety can make it very difficult to function on a daily basis for some people, others may live with more high-functioning types of anxiety.

Symptoms of anxiety can be physical, mental, and emotional. Some of the most common symptoms of anxiety include:

Managing the Physical Symptoms of Panic and Anxiety

It can also be helpful to understand that there are several different types of anxiety disorders. Not everyone with anxiety experiences panic attacks, for example. And while some people with anxiety havetrouble socializing, others do not. It all depends on what anxiety disorder you have and how you experience it.

The most common anxiety disorders are:

The Differences Between Panic and Anger Attacks

How to Support Your Partner With Anxiety

When you are around someone with an anxiety disorder, you may feel at a loss for how to help them. Often, you know that what they are experiencing is irrational and that their perception of reality at the moment may not be entirely accurate. Do you tell them this? How do you make them feel better without minimizing their emotional experience?

There are some tangible things you can do to create a “safe space” for a person who is experiencing anxiety. Below are a few tips.

Realize They Are Not Their Disorder

In your own mind, and as you are interacting with your partner, try to think of their anxiety disorder as something separate from them. Yes, it’s something that colors their life, but it’s a disorder, not a state of being.

People who experience anxiety are so much more than their anxiety, and treating them as a whole person who also happens to have an anxiety disorder is the morecompassionateway to approach things.

Drop the Blame Game

Remember, anxiety has genetic, biochemical, and environmental components, so your partner did not choose to feel this way. Anxiety also isn’t something that they are adopting to bemanipulativeor to ruin plans.

People who experience anxiety wish it to be gone as much as you do, but having an anxiety disorder is not something that is within someone’s control.

Understand That They Have Certain Triggers

Getting a handle on your partner’s anxiety meansunderstanding their triggers. Usually, someone with anxiety knows the kind of things that set them off into an anxiety spiral.

It’s not your responsibility to shield them from every single trigger, but helping them navigate their lives more sensitively around those triggers can be helpful. It can also help you to understand why your partner’s anxiety is heightened at different times.

Keep in mind thatavoidancecan ultimately make anxiety worse in the long run. You should never force your partner to confront their fears, but gently encouraging them to practice facing their anxiety triggers in a safe and controlled way can sometimes be helpful.

Be an Open Minded Listener

One of the greatest gifts you can give to someone who experiences anxiety is a kind,open-minded, listening ear. Managing an anxiety disorder can be isolating and humiliating.

Having someone who you can talk to honestly about what you are experiencing and your feelings can be really positive and soothing, especially if that person can listen without judgment and with empathy.

As a listener, remember that it’s important simply to be there for them, and not to offer suggestions, advice, or try to “solve” or “fix” anything for them.

What to Say When Your Partner Is Having Anxiety

When you are in the moment, helping your partner manage an anxiety episode, you may be unsure of what to say. You don’t want to say anything that will make your partner more anxious, after all.

Here are some ideas of what to say in these moments:

What Not to Say

At the same time, there are some things you might feel tempted to say that aren’t helpful at all and might even add to your partner’s anxiety.

Here are the types of things to avoid saying:

What’s The Difference Between Hearing and Listening?

Research reveals a connection between anxiety disorders andheightened relationship stress. However, the research also shows that addressing anxiety with communication and support can help considerably.

It’s also important to understand that helping your partner manage their anxiety is not something you can do alone: gettingmental health supportfor both your partner and yourself can be highly beneficial.

Encourage Your Partner to Seek Help

If your partner’s anxiety is impacting their lives, as well as your relationship, you may want to consider encouraging them to get help. You want to frame this as kindly andempatheticas possible.

Your partner doesn’t need to be “fixed,” but rather, you want to communicate that getting help will be an empowering and positive thing so that they can feel better.

The two mosteffective treatments for anxiety are therapy and medication. Some people benefit from therapy alone; but often, therapy combined with medication is most helpful.

The most common types of therapy used to treat anxiety arecognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)andexposure therapy. Medications used to treat anxiety include anti-anxiety medications such asbenzodiazepines,antidepressants (SSRIs), andbeta-blockers.

Address Your Own Feelings About Your Partner’s Anxiety

Dating someone with an anxiety disorder can be difficult, and you may find yourself having intense reactions to what is going on with your partner. This is normal and understandable. Taking some moments to practice someself-careand empathy for yourself is vital.

If it feels difficult for you to cope, or if you find yourself reacting in unhelpful ways to your partner’s anxiety, you might want to consider entering counseling or therapy.

Consider Group Therapy

Communication is key when you are in a relationshipwith someone who is struggling with an anxiety disorder. Sometimes you might need a little outside help to work out the kinks in your communication.

Group therapyor counseling is a great choice for this. It can help you and the person you are datinglearn to be more open and understandingand learn more effective communication techniques.

What This Means For YouSome of the most creative, sensitive, and loving people also have anxiety disorders, and it’s likely that you will find yourself dating someone with anxiety at some point in your life. While it can be difficult at times to navigate arelationshipwith someone who has anxiety, putting in the effort to do so has many rewards.Learning how to understand and more effectively communicate with someone with anxiety can deepen your bond and make for a more fulfilling and more intimate relationship. Don’t let an anxiety disorder stop you from pursuing a promising relationship.

What This Means For You

Some of the most creative, sensitive, and loving people also have anxiety disorders, and it’s likely that you will find yourself dating someone with anxiety at some point in your life. While it can be difficult at times to navigate arelationshipwith someone who has anxiety, putting in the effort to do so has many rewards.Learning how to understand and more effectively communicate with someone with anxiety can deepen your bond and make for a more fulfilling and more intimate relationship. Don’t let an anxiety disorder stop you from pursuing a promising relationship.

Some of the most creative, sensitive, and loving people also have anxiety disorders, and it’s likely that you will find yourself dating someone with anxiety at some point in your life. While it can be difficult at times to navigate arelationshipwith someone who has anxiety, putting in the effort to do so has many rewards.

Learning how to understand and more effectively communicate with someone with anxiety can deepen your bond and make for a more fulfilling and more intimate relationship. Don’t let an anxiety disorder stop you from pursuing a promising relationship.

The Best Online Therapy for Anxiety, Tried and Tested

7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute for Public Health.Any anxiety disorder.Telman LGE, van Steensel FJA, Maric M, Bögels SM.What are the odds of anxiety disorders running in families? A family study of anxiety disorders in mothers, fathers, and siblings of children with anxiety disorders.Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2018;27(5):615-624. doi:10.1007/s00787-017-1076-xMah L, Szabuniewicz C, Fiocco AJ.Can anxiety damage the brain?Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2016;29(1):56-63. doi:10.1097/YCO.0000000000000223Cleveland Clinic.Anxiety Disorders.National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders.Sars D, van Minnen A.On the use of exposure therapy in the treatment of anxiety disorders: a survey among cognitive behavioural therapists in the Netherlands.BMC Psychol. 2015;3(1):26. doi:10.1186/s40359-015-0083-2Zaider TI, Heimberg RG, Iida M.Anxiety disorders and intimate relationships: a study of daily processes in couples.Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 2010;119(1):163-173. doi:10.1037/a0018473

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute for Public Health.Any anxiety disorder.Telman LGE, van Steensel FJA, Maric M, Bögels SM.What are the odds of anxiety disorders running in families? A family study of anxiety disorders in mothers, fathers, and siblings of children with anxiety disorders.Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2018;27(5):615-624. doi:10.1007/s00787-017-1076-xMah L, Szabuniewicz C, Fiocco AJ.Can anxiety damage the brain?Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2016;29(1):56-63. doi:10.1097/YCO.0000000000000223Cleveland Clinic.Anxiety Disorders.National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders.Sars D, van Minnen A.On the use of exposure therapy in the treatment of anxiety disorders: a survey among cognitive behavioural therapists in the Netherlands.BMC Psychol. 2015;3(1):26. doi:10.1186/s40359-015-0083-2Zaider TI, Heimberg RG, Iida M.Anxiety disorders and intimate relationships: a study of daily processes in couples.Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 2010;119(1):163-173. doi:10.1037/a0018473

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute for Public Health.Any anxiety disorder.Telman LGE, van Steensel FJA, Maric M, Bögels SM.What are the odds of anxiety disorders running in families? A family study of anxiety disorders in mothers, fathers, and siblings of children with anxiety disorders.Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2018;27(5):615-624. doi:10.1007/s00787-017-1076-xMah L, Szabuniewicz C, Fiocco AJ.Can anxiety damage the brain?Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2016;29(1):56-63. doi:10.1097/YCO.0000000000000223Cleveland Clinic.Anxiety Disorders.National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders.Sars D, van Minnen A.On the use of exposure therapy in the treatment of anxiety disorders: a survey among cognitive behavioural therapists in the Netherlands.BMC Psychol. 2015;3(1):26. doi:10.1186/s40359-015-0083-2Zaider TI, Heimberg RG, Iida M.Anxiety disorders and intimate relationships: a study of daily processes in couples.Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 2010;119(1):163-173. doi:10.1037/a0018473

National Institute for Public Health.Any anxiety disorder.

Telman LGE, van Steensel FJA, Maric M, Bögels SM.What are the odds of anxiety disorders running in families? A family study of anxiety disorders in mothers, fathers, and siblings of children with anxiety disorders.Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2018;27(5):615-624. doi:10.1007/s00787-017-1076-x

Mah L, Szabuniewicz C, Fiocco AJ.Can anxiety damage the brain?Curr Opin Psychiatry. 2016;29(1):56-63. doi:10.1097/YCO.0000000000000223

Cleveland Clinic.Anxiety Disorders.

National Alliance on Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders.

Sars D, van Minnen A.On the use of exposure therapy in the treatment of anxiety disorders: a survey among cognitive behavioural therapists in the Netherlands.BMC Psychol. 2015;3(1):26. doi:10.1186/s40359-015-0083-2

Zaider TI, Heimberg RG, Iida M.Anxiety disorders and intimate relationships: a study of daily processes in couples.Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 2010;119(1):163-173. doi:10.1037/a0018473

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