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Although they might sound like the same thing, conflict management and conflict resolution are in fact two different approaches to tacklingconflicts in a relationship.

Conflict management is an ongoing process that addresses persistent issues that crop up repeatedly in the relationship; whereas, conflict resolution addresses the issue and provides closure once and for all, saysClarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist, relationship coach, and creator of ‘Your Happiness Hypothesis Method.’

Both conflict management and conflict resolution are forms of interpersonalcommunicationthat are important to maintain healthy relationships, Silva adds.

In this article, we explore the differences between conflict management and conflict resolution, and when you should use each of these strategies in your relationship.

Conflict Management vs. Conflict Resolution

Let’s take a closer look at the differences between conflict management and conflict resolution.

Conflict Management

Conflict management is the ongoing process of addressing and handling chronic issues in a relationship. It aims to minimize the negative impact of theconflictand maintain a functional relationship.

Chronic issues are problems that get revisited time and time again, says Silva. She explains that these situations are persistent and require management to maintain the peace and keep them from disrupting the relationship.

Conflict management is useful for chronic situations that cannot be solved. Contrary to what we might think about conflict and its ability to be resolved, about 70% of couples’ conflicts are unsolvable, says Silva.

If, for example, you and your partner have very different tastes in movies and that is a source of repeated conflict in your relationship, a simple conflict management solution would be to compromise and take turns picking the movie. This doesn’t necessarily solve the issue of having different tastes in movies, but it helps manage the conflict that can arise as a result.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution, on the other hand, specifically focuses on finding a final solution for a solvable conflict. It aims to address the root causes of the issue, find a mutually satisfactory solution to the problem, eliminate conflict, and restore harmony in the relationship.

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Conflict ManagementApplicable to chronic issuesFocuses on ongoing managementAims to minimize the negative effects of the conflictKeeps the relationship functionalvs. Conflict ResolutionApplicable to solvable problemsProvides a definitive solutionAims to eliminate the conflict altogetherRestores harmony to the relationship

Conflict ManagementApplicable to chronic issuesFocuses on ongoing managementAims to minimize the negative effects of the conflictKeeps the relationship functional

Applicable to chronic issues

Focuses on ongoing management

Aims to minimize the negative effects of the conflict

Keeps the relationship functional

vs. Conflict ResolutionApplicable to solvable problemsProvides a definitive solutionAims to eliminate the conflict altogetherRestores harmony to the relationship

Applicable to solvable problems

Provides a definitive solution

Aims to eliminate the conflict altogether

Restores harmony to the relationship

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How to Know Which Style to Use?

These are some factors to consider when you’re trying to decide which style to use:

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Can You Truly ‘Agree to Disagree’ in a Relationship?

If you and your partner have differentvalues, beliefs, opinions, or perspectives on something, you may wonder whether it’s possible to agree to disagree on it.

Agreeing to disagree involves accepting that you and your partner have different views on something, and choosing to respect those differences without trying to change each other’s mind.

This strategy can help minimize discontent in the relationship, says Silva. Rather than forcing someone to see things from your point of view, which can lead to conflict and resentment, agreeing to disagree respects their individuality, and their right to their own opinion.

The key to successfully agreeing to disagree is toactively listento each other, understand where the other person is coming from, and empathize with their position, even if it’s not the same as yours.

It’s important to note that agreeing to disagree may not work for all issues. For instance, it may work for certain personal preferences where there is no clear right or wrong answer, but it may not work for major life decisions, where both parties need to be on the same page to proceed.

Can Agreeing to Disagree Be a Bad Thing?

Agreeing to disagree can be a good thing if it helps partners coexist peacefully and respectfully. However, it can sometimes be a bad thing if it leads to:

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How Conflict Affects Relationships

Conflict can affect relationships in positive and negative ways.

When Conflict Is Good for a Relationship

Conflict can be good for a relationship if it:

A 2021 study notes that while conflict can be negative, resolved conflict is not.

When Conflict Hurts a Relationship

These are some of the ways conflict can harm a relationship, according to Silva:

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How to Address Relationship Conflict

Silva shares some strategies that can help you address relationship conflict.

Recognize Triggers

When either person istriggered, explore what triggered them. These are educational indicators, so taking the opportunity to learn about the “why” can help you avoid them in the future.

Avoid being negative when discussing triggers. Instead, speak calmly and understand that even if you don’t agree, both your viewpoints are still equally valid. The goal is to gain insights into how to manage conflict in the future.

Create a Plan to Address the Conflict

Creating a plan to address problems, whether chronic or solvable, can start the process of alleviation. You want to ask one another “What actionable steps can we take to address the problem causing these emotional reactions?”

Deciding to agree to disagree can be part of your plan of action to create happiness and minimize discontent.

Clarissa Silva, Relationship CoachConflict is inevitable but how we respond to disagreements is what matters.

Clarissa Silva, Relationship Coach

Conflict is inevitable but how we respond to disagreements is what matters.

Evaluate Your Needs

These are some factors to think about as you work on finding solutions:

Understand Conflict Rituals

Everyone reacts to conflict differently. The way you and your partner process conflict is a conflict ritual.

Define what your conflict rituals are. For instance, do you have to be left alone to think and process on your own first? Do you need to have it resolvedbefore going to bedor can it wait until you are both ready and regulated? Do you prefer to talk it out with loved ones or keep it between the two of you?

Sometimes conflict rituals can be a source of conflict in themselves. For example, if your partner chooses to run away, you may get upset about that. However, understanding your partner’s reactions to conflict and developing a healthy mechanism to process and deal with conflict can help resolve it.

Don’t Ignore the Issue

Don’t let issues go unaddressed, or they fester and get worse.

As far as possible, try to discuss and decide on a mutually beneficial outcome as soon as the issue occurs. If it’s not possible to address it immediately, decide on a time when you can discuss it in the near future.

If you and your partner are experiencing frequent relationship conflicts that you’re unable to resolve or manage, it may be helpful to seek therapy.Couples therapycan help you discuss your issues, improve your communication skills, and address conflict.

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3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Tae J, Almasi RC, Weldon RB, Lee Y, An C, Sohn MH.Perceived conflict may be negative but resolved conflict is not.Brain Cogn. 2021;150:105721. doi:10.1016/j.bandc.2021.105721El-Sheikh M, Kelly R, Rauer A.Quick to berate, slow to sleep: interpartner psychological conflict, mental health, and sleep.Health Psychol. 2013;32(10):1057-1066. doi:10.1037/a0031786National Library of Medicine.Stress and your health.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Tae J, Almasi RC, Weldon RB, Lee Y, An C, Sohn MH.Perceived conflict may be negative but resolved conflict is not.Brain Cogn. 2021;150:105721. doi:10.1016/j.bandc.2021.105721El-Sheikh M, Kelly R, Rauer A.Quick to berate, slow to sleep: interpartner psychological conflict, mental health, and sleep.Health Psychol. 2013;32(10):1057-1066. doi:10.1037/a0031786National Library of Medicine.Stress and your health.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Tae J, Almasi RC, Weldon RB, Lee Y, An C, Sohn MH.Perceived conflict may be negative but resolved conflict is not.Brain Cogn. 2021;150:105721. doi:10.1016/j.bandc.2021.105721El-Sheikh M, Kelly R, Rauer A.Quick to berate, slow to sleep: interpartner psychological conflict, mental health, and sleep.Health Psychol. 2013;32(10):1057-1066. doi:10.1037/a0031786National Library of Medicine.Stress and your health.

Tae J, Almasi RC, Weldon RB, Lee Y, An C, Sohn MH.Perceived conflict may be negative but resolved conflict is not.Brain Cogn. 2021;150:105721. doi:10.1016/j.bandc.2021.105721

El-Sheikh M, Kelly R, Rauer A.Quick to berate, slow to sleep: interpartner psychological conflict, mental health, and sleep.Health Psychol. 2013;32(10):1057-1066. doi:10.1037/a0031786

National Library of Medicine.Stress and your health.

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