The Causes of Love Addiction
While it may sound like just the stuff of love songs, love addiction is real and possible. Of course,wanting and craving love isn’t a problem in and of itself, and just because you’re madly in love with somebody, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a love addiction. However, just like a drug, love can be very addictive, because in it’s own way, itisa drug. So, what causes a love addiction?
Talkspace therapist Rachel O’Neill, Ph.D., explains, “A love addiction can develop when a person develops a pathological need to replicate the feeling of being in love. When we’re in love, we experience feelings of euphoria and elation and some individuals can find themselves caught up in a cycle of needing to re-experience these feelings.”
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
It’s like rewatching the best episodes of your favorite show — except you don’t know exactly how it will end! She continues, “Just like some individuals find themselves addicted to that ‘runner’s high,’ individuals with a love addiction can find themselves addicted to the excitement and euphoria associated with new relationships and, over time, these feelings may take on an addictive like process.”
Dangers of Chasing a “Love High”
As you can imagine, trying to seek out the feelings of euphoria that you experience when you’refalling in loveover and over again — as if you’re getting your “fix” — isn’t necessarily practical. This can pose a problem if you (or your partner) wants to settle down and be in a serious, committed relationship. As a relationship progresses andthe honeymoon phaseends, it’s likely that those initial feelings of excitement and euphoria will fade. A love addict may seek out a new way to access those feelings and get their fix of those romantic chemicals, which may require them to seek out love with someone new.
The Science Behind Love Addiction
Not only are tons of feel-good chemicals released when you’re in love, but there are also visible changes to the brain that can be seen on MRIs. Inone study, subjects who were in love with someone were shown a photo of their loved one. On the brain scan, different parts of the brain “lit up,” including the caudate nucleus which is part of the brain’s reward system. The reward system allows us to feel pleasure, which is essentially a reward, and keeps us wanting more — to be rewarded with pleasure over and over again. The more in love somebody is, the more active the caudate nucleus becomes in the scan.
Who’s At Risk of Love Addiction
While anyone is susceptible to love addiction, some people are more vulnerable to it. O’Neill states, “Individualswho struggle to self-regulate their emotions can be more proneto developing addictive tendencies towards love compared to those who have a greater ability to cope.” If you feel like you don’t have good control over your emotions, you might be at risk of love addiction. She adds, “In general, if a person looks to another person in order to take away an unpleasant mood or to bring about a pleasant mood, then it is more likely that they are going to develop some of those tendencies associated with love addiction.”
This is risky because a partner with a love addiction can become extremely dependent on their partner for happiness and, in some cases, even to function normally. This goes beyondbeing needy— it’s more about genuinely feeling like youneedthis person to survive. Behavior like this is common in people with depression who may rely on their partner to improve their mood or provide happiness for them. It can also be a sign of codependency.
“In the most extreme cases of love addiction, an individual can go to great lengths to maintain an intense emotional connection with another person. A small percentage of people could develop stalking behaviors, they may be prone toextreme periods of depression, anxiety, irritability, or they may be at risk of harming themselves or someone else,” O’Neill explains. “Again, these are the most extreme cases and not everyone who is addictive tendencies will develop these types of behaviors,” she adds.
Help for Love Addiction
Therapy is a great option for discussing love addiction and trying to dig deeper to better understand the addiction as well as learn morehealthy and safe ways to experience love— because everyone deserves to experience healthy love and relationships.
Regardless of whether you think you may be addicted to love or not, always remember to check in with yourself and your emotions when you’re in love, and monitor for unhealthy patterns. Oh, and don’t forget to fall in love with yourself!
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
Share0Tweet0Pin it1
Share0
Tweet0
Pin it1
