Can Meditation Actually Save Your Sex Life?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsUnderstanding Sexual MeditationExploring the Connection Between Meditation and SexualityTechniques for Sexual MeditationBenefits of Integrating Meditation and SexualityAddressing Common Questions and Concerns

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Understanding Sexual Meditation

Exploring the Connection Between Meditation and Sexuality

Techniques for Sexual Meditation

Benefits of Integrating Meditation and Sexuality

Addressing Common Questions and Concerns

Close

Sex and meditation are not two things we tend to think of as a pairing. One is typically quiet, relaxing, peaceful, and still. The other is, well…sex.

But meditation isnotjust about sitting crossed legged on the floor and trying to empty your mind. Meditation is simply beingmindful. That can happen during a formal meditation practice, while taking a walk, washing the dishes, as well as including “body-centered techniques”, such as focusing on sensory perceptions.

Ready to take a deep dive into meditation and sexuality, including how to practice more meditative sex, either alone or with a partner? We’ve got you covered.

Guided Meditations

The concept of sexual meditation is fairly open-ended. It’s simply when you combine sex or sexuality with ideas of mindfulness and meditation. That can look different for different folks.

Shamyra Howard, LCSW, AASECT, certified sex therapist and sexologist at Womanizer, defines sexual mediation like this: “Sexual meditation involves focusing on the present moment and being fully aware of sensations, emotions, and thoughts during sexual activity, whether solo or with a partner.”

Sexual meditation is a conversation between the mind and body, and it’s a process of expressing gratitude for what your body can do and feel in the moment.—SHAMYRA HOWARD, LCSW, AASECT

Sexual meditation is a conversation between the mind and body, and it’s a process of expressing gratitude for what your body can do and feel in the moment.

—SHAMYRA HOWARD, LCSW, AASECT

Brian Tierney, PhD, licensed psychologist at The Somatic Doctor, describes sexual meditation as a “presence practice,” or a type of body awareness discipline that enables a person to develop the capacity to perceive more and more pleasure. “The purpose is to take more delight in life, to experience the expansive pleasure of having a body-in-relationship,” he says.

What Is Body Positivity?

In other words, sex already has some aspects of mindfulness in it, because you can’t experiencesexual pleasurewithout being attuned to your senses. What adding mindfulness does to the equation is that it can make sex all the more pleasurable. “The benefits of sexual meditation include enhanced arousal, desire, orgasm, and overall sexual well-being,” Howard describes.

How to Be More Sexually Intimate With Your Partner

Alright, let’s get down to business. How exactly can you integrate sexual meditation practices into your sex life?

Howard shared her top tips for getting started with your sexual meditation practice:

Breathe

Howard suggestsbreathing slowlywith your eyes closed, in through your mouth and out through your nose. “Place one hand on your belly and the other on your genital area, and as you breathe in and out, think of what would feel good, no judgment,” she explains. “It’s okay if you get a genital response, and it’s OK if you don’t.” You’re just here to feel and explore.

If you are with a partner, you can breathe together this way. “Then, you and your partner can place a hand on each other’s genitals while breathing together,” Howard suggests. Again, keep it a no judgment zone, just letting each other feel whatever you feel.

Take it Slow

Feel the Feels

Mindful sex is all about letting yourself lean into whatever sensation you are feeling, and just reallyfeel them. Howard suggests paying attention to textures, temperature, and pressure.

Ask yourself questions like, “What does it feel like when you breathe in and out?” or “How does your or your partner’s genital area feel under or in your hand?”

Howard suggests slowly rubbing your hands over different body parts, placing your attention on skin texture and temperature. If you are with a partner, you can “use your mouth to tell your partner where to touch you,” Howard says. “Or use your hand to guide your partner to where you’d like them to touch you.”

Practice Delaying Orgasm

Howard recommends sinking into each moment during sex, feeling each sensation deliberately. “During partnered sex, go slow and continue to focus on sensations,” Howard says. “Pay attention to sounds, smells, and tastes to keep you grounded in the moment.”

Often, this slowness means not rushing to “get off” or orgasm. “Practice edging or delaying orgasm at least three times and focus on the sensations only,” she suggests. Sometimes you may not end up orgasming at all, but often you will, and you may find that these orgasms are super intense and pleasurable.

What Is a Brain Orgasm?

Sexual mediation has numerous benefits—just take it from Dr. Tierney, a huge proponent of sexual meditation, both personally, and for his clients. For him, sexual meditation is about taking sex slowly, so that you can focus on each sensory moment.

“The simple story for me is that when I finally learned how to engage in slow sex, to truly divest from chasing orgasms, it felt like I lost my virginity again (seriously),” he shares.

Dr. Tierney also shared some client stories, which illustrate some of the benefits of integrating mediation and sexuality:

The research on the benefits of meditative sex mostly focuses on women, with several studies finding that women who meditate experience increase sexual function.The experts we spoke to say that sexual meditation isn’t just beneficial for women, and it doesn’t just make you have better sex or orgasms.

According to Cress, the benefits of sexual meditation include:

How to Cope With Sexual Anxiety

While sexual meditation may sound awesome on paper, but that doesn’t mean people won’t experience doubts or concerns.

One concern people have is that sex should not be a discipline—because the idea of discipline runs counter to the idea of sex and letting go, says Dr. Tierney. But this is a misconception, according to Dr. Tierney, and the benefits of the practice outweigh any doubts about intentionality or scheduling.

“This is a hang-up that should be left behind if you want to meet your pleasure and bliss potential together,” he says. If your goal is mind-blowing, sensual sex, you should know that it often takes practice and discipline, Dr. Tierney says.

Another question people have about sexual meditation is: “Am I doing it right?” Howard says that any suggestions about sexual meditations are just that—suggestions. You get to decide what feels right for your body, and what meditative sex means to you. “Explore to find out what works best for you,” Howard recommends.

Finally, people often feel concern that sexual meditation will take out the mystery behind sex or make it lessspontaneousor romantic. But Cress says you don’t need to worry about that. “With guidance and practice, individuals often find that sexual meditation enhances rather than detracts from the natural flow of intimacy, helping them to become more present and connected,” she assures.

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?

Conclusion

If you are looking to have moresensationalsex—sex where all of your senses are awakened and on fire—sexual meditation might be just what you need. Sexual meditation is just what it sounds like: it means practicing mindfulness, intentionality, and bodily/emotional awareness during sexual acts.It’s not for everyone, but people who practice it often experience increased pleasure, deeper connection, and more meaningful sex.

Please contact a licensed mental health professional or a sex educator if you would like more information about sexual meditation or if you have general questions about sex and sexuality.

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5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Matko K, Sedlmeier P.What Is Meditation? Proposing an Empirically Derived Classification System.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2276. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02276Sánchez-Sánchez LC, Rodríguez MFV, García-Montes JM, et al.Mindfulness in Sexual Activity, Sexual Satisfaction and Erotic Fantasies in a Non-Clinical Sample.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(3):1161. doi:10.3390/ijerph18031161Pérez-Peña M, Notermans J, Desmedt O, et al.Mindfulness-Based Interventions and Body Awareness.Brain Sci. 2022;12(2):285. doi:10.3390/brainsci12020285Potki R, Ziaei T, Faramarzi M, et al.Bio-psycho-social factors affecting sexual self-concept: A systematic review.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5172-5178. doi:10.19082/5172Dascalu I, Brotto LA.Sexual Functioning in Experienced Meditators.J Sex Marital Ther. 2018;44(5):459-467. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2017.1405311

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Matko K, Sedlmeier P.What Is Meditation? Proposing an Empirically Derived Classification System.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2276. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02276Sánchez-Sánchez LC, Rodríguez MFV, García-Montes JM, et al.Mindfulness in Sexual Activity, Sexual Satisfaction and Erotic Fantasies in a Non-Clinical Sample.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(3):1161. doi:10.3390/ijerph18031161Pérez-Peña M, Notermans J, Desmedt O, et al.Mindfulness-Based Interventions and Body Awareness.Brain Sci. 2022;12(2):285. doi:10.3390/brainsci12020285Potki R, Ziaei T, Faramarzi M, et al.Bio-psycho-social factors affecting sexual self-concept: A systematic review.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5172-5178. doi:10.19082/5172Dascalu I, Brotto LA.Sexual Functioning in Experienced Meditators.J Sex Marital Ther. 2018;44(5):459-467. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2017.1405311

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Matko K, Sedlmeier P.What Is Meditation? Proposing an Empirically Derived Classification System.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2276. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02276Sánchez-Sánchez LC, Rodríguez MFV, García-Montes JM, et al.Mindfulness in Sexual Activity, Sexual Satisfaction and Erotic Fantasies in a Non-Clinical Sample.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(3):1161. doi:10.3390/ijerph18031161Pérez-Peña M, Notermans J, Desmedt O, et al.Mindfulness-Based Interventions and Body Awareness.Brain Sci. 2022;12(2):285. doi:10.3390/brainsci12020285Potki R, Ziaei T, Faramarzi M, et al.Bio-psycho-social factors affecting sexual self-concept: A systematic review.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5172-5178. doi:10.19082/5172Dascalu I, Brotto LA.Sexual Functioning in Experienced Meditators.J Sex Marital Ther. 2018;44(5):459-467. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2017.1405311

Matko K, Sedlmeier P.What Is Meditation? Proposing an Empirically Derived Classification System.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2276. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02276

Sánchez-Sánchez LC, Rodríguez MFV, García-Montes JM, et al.Mindfulness in Sexual Activity, Sexual Satisfaction and Erotic Fantasies in a Non-Clinical Sample.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(3):1161. doi:10.3390/ijerph18031161

Pérez-Peña M, Notermans J, Desmedt O, et al.Mindfulness-Based Interventions and Body Awareness.Brain Sci. 2022;12(2):285. doi:10.3390/brainsci12020285

Potki R, Ziaei T, Faramarzi M, et al.Bio-psycho-social factors affecting sexual self-concept: A systematic review.Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5172-5178. doi:10.19082/5172

Dascalu I, Brotto LA.Sexual Functioning in Experienced Meditators.J Sex Marital Ther. 2018;44(5):459-467. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2017.1405311

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