The Ups and Downs of Living Alone
At first, living alone was exhilarating. I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I stayed up late binge-watching Schitt’s Creek. I worked on creative projects for hours on end with no interruption. I covered every surface of my tiny apartment with string lights, plants, and #AllTheCrystals. It was a fun and freeing experience.After a few months, though, I noticed my mood change. I missed my husband, my friends, my home. I developed insomnia for the first time in my life, suffered from constant headaches, and didn’t feel like doing much other than work.
A Therapist’s Take
“A recent study concluded that living alone is linked to common mental disorders,” said Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, CFTP, and Virginia/Texas-based Talkspace therapist. “Although many of us might experience one of these disorders at any point in life, be it depression, anxiety, or any other,” Catchings added, “living alone exacerbates the disorder, putting the person in greater danger.”There are times when Catchings finds it’s beneficial for someone to live alone, such as if their current situation is toxic. No matter the circumstance, Catchings reiterates that feeling happy and having astrong support systemis important for anyone living alone.
Warning Signs to Watch For
If you start to lose interest in doing things that used to make you happy, it might be a signal that living alone is not good for your mental health. Here are a few other warning signs to look out for, according to Catchings:
Finding A Happy Medium
Two months ago, my husband made the 3000 mile cross-country move to join me in New York City and we moved into a new apartment together. At 600 square feet, double the size of my last apartment, things feel delightfully roomy. Even though there is not a single drawer for silverware or countertop space large enough for a cutting board, I am enjoying having my husband here to share in these laughter-filled discoveries.What I learned from my 8 months of living alone is that I’m moreintrovertedthan I thought. I do enjoy regular me-time to rest and recharge.Being able to communicatethese needs to my husband has strengthened our relationship as a whole. “You need to know yourself and your roommate to be able to share a space and to set boundaries,” Catchings said.Catchings recommends partners or roommates seek the help of a therapist together to create the most supportive living situation for both parties. “A professional does not only help couples or roommates during rough times,” she shared. “The therapist can assist you to find the perfect middle to create your own space before issues arise.”While I am still getting back into the swing of cohabiting — no more eating dinners at the computer or waiting three days to do the dishes — it’s been fun having the companionship of my husband again. This time around, I am more conscious of giving each other the space that we need. Love doesn’t mean you have to do everything together.
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
Share0Tweet0Pin it4
Share0
Tweet0
Pin it4
