Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsBPD and CheatingWhy BPD Causes Trust IssuesWhat to Do When Your Partner Has BPDFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

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Table of Contents

BPD and Cheating

Why BPD Causes Trust Issues

What to Do When Your Partner Has BPD

Frequently Asked Questions

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Being in a relationship with someone withborderline personality disorder (BPD)can be overwhelming and frustrating. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but BPD symptoms can maketypical relationship problemssuch as cheating and accusations of infidelity worse. Nevertheless, many people have strong relationships with someone who has BPD.

How BPD Affects Romantic Relationships

BPD Features and Cheating

Some people believe BPD is associated with infidelity. Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating. Rather, a hallmark feature of borderline personality—impulsive behavior—sometimes manifests as sexual preoccupation, early sexual exposure, casual sexual relationships, andpromiscuity.

Likewise, a person with BPD is more likely to have been sexually abused or otherwise victimized.These issues can make cheating more likely in some people. BPD affects everyone differently, however; not all people with BPD cheat. But havingunstable personal relationshipsis a hallmark symptom of this condition.

How Borderline Personality Disorder Can Affect Intimacy

One of the symptoms of BPD is the assumption that others are going to cause hurt. Whether or not people with BPD have the same likelihood of cheating as others, theyaremore likely to suspect their partners are cheating.

Because oflow self-esteem, people with BPD have difficulty believing that someone could love them and remain faithful to them. As such, they are more likely to assume that their partners will cause them pain in some way. They also have difficulty considering “benign explanations” of their partners’ behavior.

If you or your loved one is struggling withsymptoms of BPD, contact amental health provider or therapist.

Also, because of the overwhelmingfear of abandonmentthat’s a hallmark trait of BPD, people with this condition tend to be more suspicious and distrustful, assuming or even truly believing that their partners are cheating. In turn, this negatively affects their relationships.

If your partner with BPD is unfaithful or wrongfully accuses you of cheating, you are likely to be angry and emotional, and you may even think about ending the relationship. In this sense, BPD can worsen relationship issues.

BPD can strain a relationship for both people involved. However, a combination of strategies can help if your partner has BPD (orif you suspect they do).

Treatment Options for Borderline Personality Disorder

The first step is encouraging your partner to seek help, if they have not yet done so. Therapies, both psychological and medical, have evolved well past the days when BPD was thought to be incurable. Psychotherapy—particularlydialectical behavior therapy (DBT)— is believed to be the most effective treatment for BPD.

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Couples therapy—especially if your partner resists individual treatment for BPD—can help you both work through relationship issues and understand where your partner is coming from. Through your sessions, you’ll learn essentialcommunication skillsthat can help you through tough times and strengthen your relationship.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Can Couples Counseling Help Your Relationship?

A Word From Verywell

Frequently Asked QuestionsIf you’d like to repair the relationship, couples therapy is a good place to start. Encourage your partner to seek treatment for BPD if they have not done so already.People who have BPD tend to have turbulent, difficult relationships. Their fear of abandonment, impulsive tendencies, irrational anger, and mood swings can frustrate their partners, who also often feel misunderstood, fearful, and abused.People with BPD feel an overwhelming fear of abandonment, which leads them to become either overly attached or completely detached. Their impulsive tendencies, irrational anger, and mood swings can frustrate their partners, who also often feel misunderstood and fearful.

If you’d like to repair the relationship, couples therapy is a good place to start. Encourage your partner to seek treatment for BPD if they have not done so already.

People who have BPD tend to have turbulent, difficult relationships. Their fear of abandonment, impulsive tendencies, irrational anger, and mood swings can frustrate their partners, who also often feel misunderstood, fearful, and abused.

People with BPD feel an overwhelming fear of abandonment, which leads them to become either overly attached or completely detached. Their impulsive tendencies, irrational anger, and mood swings can frustrate their partners, who also often feel misunderstood and fearful.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Tate AE, Sahlin H, Liu S, et al.Borderline personality disorder: associations with psychiatric disorders, somatic illnesses, trauma, and adverse behaviors.Mol Psychiatry.2022;27(5):2514-2521. doi:10.1038/s41380-022-01503-zLazarus SA, Choukas-Bradley S, Beeney JE, Byrd AL, Vine V, Stepp SD.Too much too soon?: Borderline personality disorder symptoms and romantic relationships in adolescent girls.J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2019;47(12):1995-2005. doi:10.1007/s10802-019-00570-1Michael J, Chennells M, Nolte T, et al.Probing commitment in individuals with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatric Res. 2021;137:335-341. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.02.062Choi-Kain LW, Finch EF, Masland SR, Jenkins JA, Unruh BT.What works in the treatment of borderline personality disorder.Curr Behav Neurosci Rep. 2017;4(1):21-30. doi:10.1007/s40473-017-0103-z

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Tate AE, Sahlin H, Liu S, et al.Borderline personality disorder: associations with psychiatric disorders, somatic illnesses, trauma, and adverse behaviors.Mol Psychiatry.2022;27(5):2514-2521. doi:10.1038/s41380-022-01503-zLazarus SA, Choukas-Bradley S, Beeney JE, Byrd AL, Vine V, Stepp SD.Too much too soon?: Borderline personality disorder symptoms and romantic relationships in adolescent girls.J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2019;47(12):1995-2005. doi:10.1007/s10802-019-00570-1Michael J, Chennells M, Nolte T, et al.Probing commitment in individuals with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatric Res. 2021;137:335-341. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.02.062Choi-Kain LW, Finch EF, Masland SR, Jenkins JA, Unruh BT.What works in the treatment of borderline personality disorder.Curr Behav Neurosci Rep. 2017;4(1):21-30. doi:10.1007/s40473-017-0103-z

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Tate AE, Sahlin H, Liu S, et al.Borderline personality disorder: associations with psychiatric disorders, somatic illnesses, trauma, and adverse behaviors.Mol Psychiatry.2022;27(5):2514-2521. doi:10.1038/s41380-022-01503-zLazarus SA, Choukas-Bradley S, Beeney JE, Byrd AL, Vine V, Stepp SD.Too much too soon?: Borderline personality disorder symptoms and romantic relationships in adolescent girls.J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2019;47(12):1995-2005. doi:10.1007/s10802-019-00570-1Michael J, Chennells M, Nolte T, et al.Probing commitment in individuals with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatric Res. 2021;137:335-341. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.02.062Choi-Kain LW, Finch EF, Masland SR, Jenkins JA, Unruh BT.What works in the treatment of borderline personality disorder.Curr Behav Neurosci Rep. 2017;4(1):21-30. doi:10.1007/s40473-017-0103-z

Tate AE, Sahlin H, Liu S, et al.Borderline personality disorder: associations with psychiatric disorders, somatic illnesses, trauma, and adverse behaviors.Mol Psychiatry.2022;27(5):2514-2521. doi:10.1038/s41380-022-01503-z

Lazarus SA, Choukas-Bradley S, Beeney JE, Byrd AL, Vine V, Stepp SD.Too much too soon?: Borderline personality disorder symptoms and romantic relationships in adolescent girls.J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2019;47(12):1995-2005. doi:10.1007/s10802-019-00570-1

Michael J, Chennells M, Nolte T, et al.Probing commitment in individuals with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatric Res. 2021;137:335-341. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.02.062

Choi-Kain LW, Finch EF, Masland SR, Jenkins JA, Unruh BT.What works in the treatment of borderline personality disorder.Curr Behav Neurosci Rep. 2017;4(1):21-30. doi:10.1007/s40473-017-0103-z

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