Behold, Your Reason to Date a Golden Retriever Boyfriend

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsQualities of a Golden Retriever BoyfriendBenefits of Having a Golden Retriever BoyfriendThings Aren’t Always As They SeemRed Flags to Watch Out for in a Golden Retriever BoyfriendHow to Cultivate Golden Retriever Boyfriend Qualities

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Qualities of a Golden Retriever Boyfriend

Benefits of Having a Golden Retriever Boyfriend

Things Aren’t Always As They Seem

Red Flags to Watch Out for in a Golden Retriever Boyfriend

How to Cultivate Golden Retriever Boyfriend Qualities

Happy-go-lucky, eager to please, always ready to listen, a deep sense of loyalty, and a smile that spreads across his face anytime he sees you? No, that’s not your dog, butTikTok’slatest relationship terminology: The Golden Retriever Boyfriend. One quick scroll and you’ll find dozens of videos of boyfriends who pout when their girlfriend leaves to go to the gym, look hopelessly lost in a crowd only to light up at the sight of their partner, or do something endearingly silly in a public setting.

There’s no better example of a golden retriever boyfriend than Taylor Swift’s BF, Travis Kelce. The football player is always cheesing around her, generally has a sunny disposition, and isn’t abovesilly antics.

A Golden Retriever Boyfriend isn’t overly protective, introverted, and cold to strangers. He’s outgoing, easily excited, and is game to do just about anything (yes, even the embarrassing things too). But they’re also quite clingy, according to TikTok. They’re overly affectionate and somewhat codependent on your presence to be happy.

The Golden Retriever Boyfriend is the classic fairytale story IRL. It’s the handsome man who is so unbelievably in love with you and doesn’t want to leave your side. Benefits of having a Golden Retriever Boyfriend is that you’re in a relationship with someone warm,optimistic,loyal, kind, and appreciative.

As a therapist, I find many TikTok relationship trends somewhat concerning because they can breed unrealistic expectations. (Re:Lucky Girl Syndrome). Many of my clients compare theirrelationshipsto what they see online. And while the biggest red flag isn’t necessarily the traits of a Golden Retriever Boyfriend (more on this later), it’s the idealization of relationships we know nothing about.

Idealization is when we focus solely on the positive attributes of someone or something, leading us to minimize any negative qualities.This can become problematic because nothing is all good nor all bad and insisting a relationship only has good qualities means we’re overlooking the reality of the connection. Not only does this set us up for disappointment, it is also unfair to our partner. They’re not perfect and they don’t have to be. After all, they’re human, not a golden retriever.

The Expectations vs. Reality Trap

The Golden Retriever Boyfriend sounds ideal because if he loves you and never wants to be away from you, then he won’t leave you (or the relationship). However, there are some concerns within this archetype.

For example, if your partner relies only on you for social connection,isolationcan occur. Take this skit on TikTok for example. The Golden Retriever Boyfriend never leaves his partner alone and follows her everywhere, from the kitchen to make lunch to the bathroom.

If your partner begins to guilt trip you for working, seeing your family, or hanging out with your friends without him, that is a red flag. This could eventually lead to him encouraging you to focus all your energy on him, thus causing yoursocial circleto dwindle. Friendships are deeply important for our health and the healthier you each are on your own, the healthier you can be together.

Another red flag is thedifficulties in having serious conversations. It is important to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. But, if the relationship is consistently focused on being silly and lighthearted, it may create issues when there’s conflict and you can’t address the problems in the relationship.

The Golden Retriever Boyfriend is depicted as being somewhat naive. A bumbling BF seems cute at first, but it also demonstrates that he may not have the depth you need in the relationship. Or, that you don’t view (and maybe value) his actual wisdom and intelligence because of your misguided perception.

9 Yellow Flags in a Relationship–Signs and How to Deal With Them

It is natural to see a relationship on social media and think: “I wish that was my life.” Rather than leaning into the illusion that someone else’s relationship is the perfect fit for you, consider ways to cultivate some of the Golden Retriever Boyfriend qualities in your own relationship.

7 Active Listening Techniques For Better Communication

Finding Support

If you’re consistently comparing your relationship to the Internet, reflect on why. Social media is just a snapshot of people’s lives—not the full truth.Consider reaching out to a therapistif you’re feeling stuck in the cycle of comparison. If you feel like your relationship could use some support, try attendingcouples therapy. And if you just aren’t feeling your Golden Retriever Boyfriend, maybe it’s time to end the relationship—and invest in a new type of man. (Abeta male, perhaps?)

Wait, Am I the Black Cat in My Relationship?

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Story, G. W., Smith, R., Moutoussis, M., Berwian, I. M., Nolte, T., Bilek, E., Siegel, J. Z., & Dolan, R. J. (2024).A social inference model of idealization and devaluation.Psychological Review,131(3), 749–780. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000430Pezirkianidis, C., Galanaki, E., Raftopoulou, G., Moraitou, D., & Stalikas, A. (2023).Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Frontiers in Psychology,14, 1059057. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057Mostova, O., Stolarski, M., & Matthews, G. (2022).I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS ONE,17(6), e0269429. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Story, G. W., Smith, R., Moutoussis, M., Berwian, I. M., Nolte, T., Bilek, E., Siegel, J. Z., & Dolan, R. J. (2024).A social inference model of idealization and devaluation.Psychological Review,131(3), 749–780. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000430Pezirkianidis, C., Galanaki, E., Raftopoulou, G., Moraitou, D., & Stalikas, A. (2023).Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Frontiers in Psychology,14, 1059057. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057Mostova, O., Stolarski, M., & Matthews, G. (2022).I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS ONE,17(6), e0269429. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

Story, G. W., Smith, R., Moutoussis, M., Berwian, I. M., Nolte, T., Bilek, E., Siegel, J. Z., & Dolan, R. J. (2024).A social inference model of idealization and devaluation.Psychological Review,131(3), 749–780. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000430Pezirkianidis, C., Galanaki, E., Raftopoulou, G., Moraitou, D., & Stalikas, A. (2023).Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Frontiers in Psychology,14, 1059057. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057Mostova, O., Stolarski, M., & Matthews, G. (2022).I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS ONE,17(6), e0269429. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

Pezirkianidis, C., Galanaki, E., Raftopoulou, G., Moraitou, D., & Stalikas, A. (2023).Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications.Frontiers in Psychology,14, 1059057. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057

Mostova, O., Stolarski, M., & Matthews, G. (2022).I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS ONE,17(6), e0269429. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?

Finding Support#

Finding Support