When we think of an abusive relationship, physical orverbal violenceis usually what comes to mind. but this image isn’t entirely accurate because psychological abuse in a digital context is becoming more and more prevalent. In fact, many abuse prevention advocates are reporting a significant increase in the number of teen girls describing digital dating abuse in their relationships.
Abusive relationships are filled withjealousy, control,manipulation, humiliation, and intimidation. If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, do not hesitate to ask for help. Abusive relationships can be very hard to leave.
“It can be difficult for a person to notice abuse is happening when they believe their partner is just upset, cares about them, or cares about the relationship," says Yolanda Renteria, LPC.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Identifying Digital Dating Abuse
Digital dating abuse occurs when anabusive partneruses technology, such as a smartphone, social media, a tracking app or another form of technology, to threaten, harass, and intimidate the person they’re dating.
Some of the more common ways this is done include sending excessive texts or messages, stalking a partner on social media, or demanding the partner engage in sexting.
A national survey of 2,218 students (ages 12 to 17) in relationships found that 28% of students had been a victim of digital dating abuse.What’s more, both boys and girls can experience digital dating abuse. It is not limited to just girls.
What’s more, a number of high schoolers have reported that if they do not respond to text messages quickly they often suffer repercussions like physical violence,emotional abuse, name-calling orverbal abuse.
Meanwhile, teens have reported that their boyfriends or girlfriends have set up fake social media accounts to test whether or not they are interacting with the opposite sex online. Even worse, some have reported that their boyfriends require them to download a GPS-tracking app so that they know where they are at all times.
None of this is healthy or part of a normal dating relationship. If it is occurring in your relationship, or if you notice other signs of dating abuse, you need to think about how to end the relationship before the abuse escalates.
Spotting the Signs
You may be the victim of digital dating abuse if your partner does any of the following:
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How to Stay Digitally Safe
If that is not the case, then you need to watch for signs of dating abuse. And if your partner seems overly controlling about the technology in your life, make sure you take steps to protect yourself. Here are some additional ways that you can protect yourself from digital dating abuse:
In a healthy relationship, your partner will respect your personal boundaries. They also will give you space and time away without demanding to know where you are at every second of the day. And, they will realize that it is appropriate for you to turn your phone off or to be unavailable at times.
Anyone who does not respect these things is showing signs of control. And, wanting control over another person is the hallmark of an abusive relationship.
More Tips for Getting Help
If you or someone you know is experiencing digital dating abuse, there is help available. You are not alone. For instance,Love Is Not Abuseoffers talk, text, and online chat options for people dealing with digital dating abuse.
You can text loveis to 22522 if you have questions or concerns about digital dating abuse. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE any time of the day or night to talk with an advocate. Or, visit their website,www.hotline.org, for a live chat.
Why It Can Be Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship
1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hinduja S, Patchin JW.Digital dating abuse among a national sample of U.S. Youth.J Interpers Violence. January 8, 2020. doi:10.1177/0886260519897344Additional Reading"Behind the Screens: What Is Digital Dating Abuse?" National Domestic Violence Hotline. http://www.thehotline.org/2014/03/18/what-is-digital-abuse/“Dating Abuse Statistics.” Love Is Not Abuse. http://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/
1 Source
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hinduja S, Patchin JW.Digital dating abuse among a national sample of U.S. Youth.J Interpers Violence. January 8, 2020. doi:10.1177/0886260519897344Additional Reading"Behind the Screens: What Is Digital Dating Abuse?" National Domestic Violence Hotline. http://www.thehotline.org/2014/03/18/what-is-digital-abuse/“Dating Abuse Statistics.” Love Is Not Abuse. http://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Hinduja S, Patchin JW.Digital dating abuse among a national sample of U.S. Youth.J Interpers Violence. January 8, 2020. doi:10.1177/0886260519897344
“Behind the Screens: What Is Digital Dating Abuse?” National Domestic Violence Hotline. http://www.thehotline.org/2014/03/18/what-is-digital-abuse/“Dating Abuse Statistics.” Love Is Not Abuse. http://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/
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